Flibbertigibbet
by SloaneKato
Summary: Meet Riku. An average seventeen year old in a long term relationship with a tree. Did I say average? I meant awesome. AU, soriku. Rated T for now.
1. Ninnyhammer

Hello, my name is Riku Montgomery. I'm seventeen, a senior in high school, and for a good six months of the year, completely apathetic towards the world and everything in it.

I used to be really-well, no, I guess I never was, was I? Okay. Let's try this again.

I never really had a lot of friends but no one ever straight up hated me-or if they did, they knew I could kick their asses so they kept it to themselves. That being said, I've always been a bit of a loner-yeah, I _have_ friends, and great ones at that-and never really put much thought into it.

Mostly friendship to me consists of casual conversations, the occasional hug, and not really going much deeper than that. It was better that way-be there, but don't invade people's lives. That's how it's always been. I'm a very private person.

And you know what? I was perfectly happy with that.

Then my mom decided one day to ruin my life-long dreams of spending another worthless year of my life staring at the oh-so-familiar beige/white walls of Simpleton High (actually called Singleton, but I'm convinced it was a typo). It was on that fateful Friday evening in the local Bob Evans, as I shoved blueberry crepes gracefully down my throat (because I really wasn't in the mood for them), that my mother, bless her, decided to announce to me ever-so ceremoniously; "When we get home, pack your things. We're moving to Utah."

I gaped at her, mouth opening and closing as if I were a fish for a good ten seconds before I shoveled a forkful of sugar-laden berries into the side of my mouth. "Ow, shit..." I muttered, holding my poor, abused and injured cheek before attempting (and succeeding in) eating the forkful of evil. After this stunt, I glanced back at my mother and fixed her with a cold stare and nodded. "So we won the house, then."

"You could be a little more excited, Riku."

"So sorry. I'm still coping from the fact that you're so thoughtlessly ripping me away from the love of my life."

"She's probably cheating on you."

"Oh, _thanks_, mom. That makes me feel _so_ much better," I say, rolling my eyes and smirking. "My lovely Maple would _never_ cheat on me. We're deeply in love. We've even started to discuss marriage and children together."

My mother, the lovely woman she is, snorted and spit her coffee back into the cup. "Okay, kid. Whatever you say. Just use protection, you wouldn't want to get termites."

"Oh, yes of course mother. Don't worry, we always practice safe sex."

She snorted again. Lovely woman, my mother. Really. "Any other mother would put you in the looney bin, Riku. I hope you know that."

"Well I'd never! My courtship with the beautiful Lady Maple is nothing but sane."

"Oh, forgive me. I didn't mean to offend you. I totally support your long-term relationship with the tree in our backyard," she said, rolling her eyes. "But we're not taking her with us, so you're going to have to break it off. Sorry, honey."

I shrugged. I wasn't really that torn up over moving. I know that my friends would flip a shit and start crying,-the pansies,- but in reality, I was looking forward to a change. "When do we leave?"

"Sunday night."

* * *

><p>"Shit, man...Utah? That's like...the desert. How the fuck are you gonna live with all that hair?" Axel, my favorite ginger-who-wasn't, said as I broke the news to him Saturday morning.<p>

I glanced over at him from where I sat under Maple, ceasing my quick sketch of a stick figure him fighting with a stick figure Xion over the heart of our mutual fun-buddy, Roxas. And by fun buddy, I meant Debby Downer. And by Debby Downer, I meant-

"Riku!"

"Huh? What? Oh, yeah. Sorry, you were talking?"

Xion scowled at me. "I was asking you if you'd ever even _been_ to Utah."

"Oh," I said, continuing my doodle. "Yeah, it's...got a lot of melons."

Xion rolled her eyes. "So you haven't?"

"No, no, I have. Remember when my brother tried to become a marine? We drove all the way across the country. We went through and stopped in Utah both there and back."

"Oh, I see..." she said, looking forlorn.

I smiled softly. "Don't worry, chicka. In a weeks time I'll have replaced all you fuckers and never contact you again-"

Xion smacked me in the head and stormed off.

I glanced up at Axel. "Was it something I said?"

He rolled his eyes, and with a smirk, followed her, throwing a half-assed wave over his shoulder as his final goodbye.

He was under the impression that I wasn't serious and would still be here come Monday morning, when senior orientation was taking place.

Sorry, buddy. Not this time.

* * *

><p>The drive from my childhood home (which I'd only lived in for six years) to my mom's recently received "dream home" took approximately three days. I didn't mind. I liked car rides. They were my absolute favorite.<p>

When we got there, it was about four pm and frankly, I was kind of dreading the whole unpacking thing. Nonetheless, I started hauling my shit out of the U-haul truck, dumping it in the room my mother had designated as mine, and then hauling _her_ shit into her room because my dad, bless his heart, was nearly fifty and despite being a body builder, was not capable of picking up their boxspring alone.

I was pretty strong. I worked on a farm during the mid summer dumping 80lb bags of various farm animal food into barrels. He didn't generally allow me to go to the gym with him (because he was convinced I was gay, though I have _no_ clue what that has to do with it, whatsoever), so I did what I could to stay in shape. I think I did pretty well for myself, considering how well developed my body was.

Anyways...

After we had dumped all our crap onto the floor of the room they were meant to be in, we went to the local Denny's and ate disgusting fat soaked food.

Or, well, I did, anyways. They ate pancakes and shit like that. Ew.

It was there that I realized that I was going to love Buttfuck Nowhere, Utah, because the waiter was some ninnyhammer who couldn't walk right and dumped soda on me. Now, normally, people who get soda dumped on them by Denny's waiters are pretty pissed. Me?

Nah.

"Oh my god, ma'am, I'm _sooooo_ sorry," the boy said, ripping napkins out of his apron and jabbing me with them.

I chuckled. "Don't worry about it, kid. But I'll have you know, I'm quite male."

The kid blushed redder than Axel's hair and started in on a whole new montage of apologies, which I again waved my hand at in dismissal.

"Chill out, kid. It happens."

"I feel really bad, though..." he said, biting his lip and pouting slightly, blue eyes wide.

He was cute. I'd give him that. "It's not a problem, really. I'm just glad it wasn't coffee or anything," I said, grinning.

"Quit flirting with the waiter, Riku," my brother, Yaag, said, rolling his eyes. He was plagued with stick-up-the-ass syndrome. It was a tragedy, really.

"Quit flirting with your mom, Yaag," I droned, earning a smack upside the head from said lovely good-natured mother and another from him. Whatever. I smirked and winked at the brunette, who was still standing there like the ninnyhammer he'd so far proven himself to be.

"Hey, Sor, quit standing there like a big dummy and do your job at your tables!" Some broad I didn't remember the name of but who was our actual waitress said, puffing her cheeks out and jabbing the poor brunette in the side. Once he flailed at her and left, she turned to us, smiling. "Sorry about him...he's such a ditz sometimes. Can I get you guys anything?"

"Um, a box, please," my mom said, smiling politely.

"Alright-y! And I'll bring you your bill, too, so sit tight!"

Well, she was kind of annoying. I expressed this thought once she was out of range, earning a roll of the eyes from my mother. In case you were wondering, my dad was sitting across from me staring blankly into the distance. He didn't talk much, and when he did it generally was a topic forbidden at the dinner table by my mother.

Sometime later, the auburn-haired girl came back with the bill and a box, told us to have a great night, winked at me and Yaag, and then walked off. _Ew._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Here's the first chapter! I hope you liked it. (*is shot for not finishing his other stories* hurrdurr)  
><strong>

**Yaag is a character in FFXIII. He's also a minor character in this story, so don't worry about him too much. Mostly I just used him because I didn't really want Sephiroth to be Riku's brother, and I didn't feel right breaking up Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz, since I only really wanted Riku to have /one/ brother.**

**Soyeah.**

**Anyways, thanks for reading! Feel free to leave me a review, if you want to.**


	2. Footle

"Riku, it's six thirty," my mom's voice rang out, and I just about flipped a shit. I set my alarms-all _three_ of them- for six today, so I'd be able to you know, get ready for my first day. But noooooopppeeeeeee, the alarm-clock gods had it out for me, and were all 'heh, let's fuck with this kid for his first day of highschool, trolololol.'

Bastards.

I jumped over the back of my futon and grabbed some pants, pulling them on as I slammed my way down the stairs (because I'm beast that way), and slid into the kitchen to grab some sort of sustenance before brushing my silver hair and perfect teeth, throwing on a random shirt, and waiting ten minutes for my mom to hurry the fuck up.

And yes, my teeth really are perfect. I've never had braces. I'm just that beasty.

My mom eventually got her shit together and drove me to school, since she was too afraid to let me drive.

I almost died from laughter upon discovering that our school's mascot made us The Gold-diggers. I fucking loved Utah. Best school ever.

I found my way to the office, got mistaken for a woman (seriously, what the hell? I'm not some short scrawny pansy, I just have long hair. Flippin'...) and received my schedule. After that, I hunted down my locker and stored my shit in there.

"Hey, freshmeat!" Some dickwad called out, shoving me into my locker.

"Whatever, shrimp. I'm a fucking senior," I growled, shoving the blond who, I noted, was much shorter and tanner than I.

"No shit? Why haven't I ever seen you? Sorry, man."

"No problem, I guess... just make sure you know your victim. I just moved here from Michigan."

"What the flip? That's awesome."

"Uh...right."

"Say, the name's Tidus. Tidus Barker."

"Riku Montgomery."

"Cool-well, see you around sometime!"

I wasn't going to be his buddy, that's for sure.

I wandered around the school a bit before giving up and heading to the math class I'd already scoped out and passed twenty times. I glanced at the teacher, who nodded at me and told me to sit wherever, so I took a seat in the front, right next to his desk, because I like to fuck with my teacher's heads a little and do what they least expect from someone like me. He eyed me wearily before going back to messing around on his computer.

"Hey! What're you doing here?"

I jumped. I'm not gonna lie, that scared the heck out of me. I turned and looked up into midnight-blue eyes outlined in black. "Um...sitting..?"

"No, I mean at my school!"

"Um...sitting?"

She sighed in exasperation. "I thought you were just...on a trip or something!"

Oh, it was that annoying girl from Denny's. "Oh, uh, no...I just moved here with my family."

"Oh," she said, and took the seat next to me. "Well, this place could certainly use a new face around...and you're certainly nice to look at."

I scoffed. "Please _don't,_" I said, slouching back in my seat and glancing at her.

"Oh, I get it-you bat for the other team, am I right?"

"Um..?"

"I bat for whatever team I damn well please. But I'm not into cheesy pickup lines from anyone but my beloved Maple."

"Oh...you doin' that whole long term thing?"

"Uh, sure," I said, inwardly laughing.

"Is she pretty? What's she like? Do you have a picture?"

I rolled my eyes and pulled out my phone, pulling up a picture of me and Maple that Axel had so kindly taken for me. "Maple. My long-term girlfriend and best friend for life," I said, showing her the picture.

She bit her lip, brows furrowing. "Um...I'm sorry, it's just you and a tree..."

"That's a _maple tree,_" said a third voice. "God, Kairi, you're so slow sometimes."

"Shut _up,_ Tifa," Kairi responded.

I smirked. "I'm pansexual."

"What's that mean?"

"I like trees."

"Really? They have a thing for that?" Kairi asked, wonder showing in her eyes.

The brunette from earlier had moved behind me, and was now bursting out into laughter. I chuckled along with her, and she offered me a fist bump. I took it.

"You're such a dumbshit, Kairi. He's trolling you."

"Trolling me?"

"Fucking with your head," Tifa explained. She leaned forward. "Pansexual basically means he doesn't care what's between your legs or in your head."

"So...like he's like...bisexual?"

Tifa sighed and shook her head, apparently giving up. "Anyways... I'm Tifa. It's nice to meet you."

"Riku," I said, grinning and shaking her hand when she offered it across the space of her desk.

* * *

><p>Class started and went by, and so did the rest of it. Kairi and Tifa were in most of my classes, with the exception of Boy's Aquatics, (obviously), which I had with the brunette boy.<p>

He immediately recognized me, and came bounding over. "Hey, it's you! I'm sorry about the other day," he started, but I held up a finger.

"Didn't I tell you not to worry about it?" I asked, shaking my head. "Anyways... since you keep apologizing anyways, my name's Riku."

"I'm Sora! And that guy over there is my cousin, Cloud!" He said for no apparent reason, pointing over to a Roxas look-alike. Weird.

Cloud's eye noticeably twitched, but he still sauntered over, anyways.

"Hey Cloud! This is Riku! The guy I spilled pop all over."

"Hello," he said, sounding like he really didn't want to be here or be introduced to me. I didn't blame him.

"Hey," I said. I scrutinized his appearance for a second. "Are you by any chance related to one Roxas Strife?"

The blond's eyes widened slightly. "How do you know my brother?"

"He's my home-boy. In that my best friends both wanted in his pants, so they made him hang with us."

The blond's eye twitched slightly. "And he's rejected them, right?"

Oh, protective older brother? I think so. "The kid's a prude. Don't worry about it."

Cue fist in my face.

Sora screeched and grabbed my face in horror. "Oh my heck, are you alright?"

I stared blankly at the brunette. "If you'd kindly release my face, I'd know."

He frowned and released my face, and stood in front of me fidgeting. "So are you?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, rubbing my face. Maybe if I was lucky this would mean I didn't have to participate in class...not that we were doing anything today, since it was the first day of class. A guy can dream, can't he?

"Alright, Ladies, shut the hell up and sit the heck down," the teacher yelled, and we all obeyed. "The name's Cid Highwind. Call me whatever. By tomorrow, y'all need to have swimwear-swim trunks are fine, 'less you're out to join the swim team, but that's aside the point. Have yer 'rents sign this sheet that's goin' round and give it to me by Friday."

I then proceeded to drown him out as he went over the syllabus (why does Aquatics even need a syllabus?) and started a poke war with Sora. Sora puffed out his cheeks every time he was poked, and his face got so serious and determined when he retaliated I almost wanted to record it. It was kind of adorable-and I didn't use that term often.

"Hey, you two! Quit that and pay attention!" Cid said, chucking an eraser (why does he have an eraser?) at my head.

We obeyed for all of two minutes, when he looked away. Now we just had to poke each other when he looked away. Challenge accepted.

Cid finished his speech about twenty minutes later, so he assigned us lockers and then left us to our own devices. So, naturally, Sora and I started an epic ninja-styled poke war in which I showed off my awesome dodging abilities by bending over backwards matrix-style when he attempted to poke me, and retaliating quickly by jabbing him multiple times in the stomach, which made him, well, giggle.

And I'm not even saying that because he was cute, the kid seriously giggled.

"That's adorable," I blurted out, and winced, expecting a negative reaction.

Instead, I watched as Sora turned bright red and hid his face. "Ohhhh, don't say thatttttt," he said, shaking his head. "Jerkface!"

I frowned. "What'd I do to earn an insult?"

Sora didn't answer, looking me over wearily.

"What's wrong?" I asked, frowning more. He was fine just a second ago.

"I don't think I should tell you..."

"Oh...well, that's okay, I guess. You can tell me when you know me better, right?"

Sora looked me over, then nodded, grinning. "So Riku, do you like anime?"

I foresaw a beautiful friendship budding from that moment on. "Are you kidding? Anime is my _life._"

"Oh my god, seriously?" Sora squealed. "Everyone else I ask is all 'what's anime? That's weird.'"

"Story of my life," I said, grinning. "What's your favorite anime?"

"Don't judge me, okay?" I nodded. "Gravitation."

"Ah, dude! I flippin' love Gravitation. It's so flippin' cracky."

"I know, right? I love all his outfits," Sora said, grinning.

"He's such a spazz, too. Like, who the heck flies across the world and dresses up in a dog suit?"

"I know, _right?_ I love Shuichi. He's so cu-ah, awesome."

"Dude, the manga makes Shuichi kinda sexy, but in the anime he's just flippin' adorable," I said, because closets never really existed to me.

"Um..." Sora bit his lip, glancing at me in confusion.

"Well I'm not going to lie about it," I said, rolling my eyes. "I mean, we're talking about a shounen-ai."

"That's a shounen-ai?"

Face, meet palm. Palm, meet face. "Yeah...you didn't know that?"

"Well...okay, I did, but...I..."

"You don't have to make excuses. I'm not going to judge you." I really couldn't judge him. Unless, you know, he was into tentacle porn. Then I probably would.

...ew.

* * *

><p>Sora and I eventually wound up exchanging numbers, and so rather than fill out the stupid 'get to know you' sheets that teachers always give on the first day, I texted my new-found friend.<p>

I found out several things about Sora through that.

A) he really likes kittens and puppies.

B) Kairi harasses him like crazy even though he's rejected her three times

C) He cosplays. A lot.

Yes, this would be a beautiful friendship. I suspected that my new friend was hiding in a closet with the door cracked open, however, as to be quite honest it was pretty obvious after our conversation during Aquatics. Speaking of...

"Hey mom, I need a speedo!"

My mom spat out her beer and coughed, pounding on her chest. "What?"

"I have aquatics. I don't have swimwear. Buy me some."

"A _speedo,_ Riku?"

"Yes. It should be covered in rainbows and unicorns. And glitter is always a plus."

She rolled her eyes. "Right. So you want some swim trunks with flames or dragons, then."

I nodded.

"Okay. C'mon. We'll see if Walmart has any on sale."

Oh yeah. Walmart swimwear. I'mma be stylin'.


	3. Ostracised

_"Shit, Riku, where the fuck have you been?"_

"I told you I was moving, Axel."

And with that, I hung up. Which might have seemed like a dick move, but...it was three in the morning, and to be quite honest-I wanted nothing to do with my old friends anymore. I wouldn't ever see them again anyways, so why should I even bother talking to them anymore?

So I didn't. I ignored Axel's next call, and his texts. I told Xion I'd replace them. I meant it.

Which means,-you guessed it-it's been over a week since we've moved. Today was September 31st, in fact-it's been almost a month. And I'm already starting to feel more at home in my new habitat than I ever had back where I was born and raised. Really, it's kind of funny how that works.

I always wondered what it'd be like if one day I fell off the face of the planet. And, well, I'd figured that one out. Almost a month later Axel would call my phone and ask where the fuck I was.

Cool.

My phone buzzing on my throat (when did it get there?) startled me, and I glanced at it.

In big white letters on the blue 'HEY DUDE LOOK IT'S A PHONE CALL OMG LOOKKKKKK' screen, was the name Sora Stump. Yes, stump. I already teased him about it. He already pouted at me for it. Been there, done that.

I pressed the green phone icon button thing and was greeted by hysteric sobs. "Hello?"

"R-Riku?"

"Yeah...are you, uh, alright?"

"C-can you...ah, come get me please?"

"Um...sure...where are you?"

"I'm at...the intersection of Barnes and Schulers..."

Alright, that was like a five minute bike ride. Cool. "Okay... I'll be there in like five minutes, alright? Calm down."

"Thank you," Sora said, and we exchanged our goodbyes and I set off on my magical adventure to save the princess.

Or something like that.

* * *

><p>"Sora! Are you alright?" I asked, dropping my bike on the sidewalk and pulling the crying boy into a hug. He stilled for a second before wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face into my chest. "What happened, kiddo?"<p>

"I...they kicked me out," he mumbled into my shirt.

"Oh," I said, looking down at the brunette spikes. "You wanna stay at my place for a couple days, then?"

Sora nodded into my shirt, and so I pried myself from him and we set off-him on my handlebars and me, well, on the seat, peddling, obviously.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked once we'd gotten to my room.

Sora shook his head.

"It might make you feel better," I said, frowning.

"I don't want you to kick me out, too," he said, looking at his feet.

"Unless you're going to tell me you've been shooting up and in the mafia... I don't think I have a reason too. Actually, scratch that part about the shooting up-we kept my brother."

Sora looked at me with wide eyes. "I didn't know you had a brother!"

"And that's the only thing you took from that, isn't it?"

Sora nodded.

I sighed. "Yes, I have a brother. He's an ass. Don't worry about it," I said, shaking my head. "Now will you tell me what you apparently did that was so horrible?"

"I didn't exactly _do_ anything."

I groaned. "Alright, Sora. We're going to play a game-" his eyes lit up instantly. "I'll tell you something I did to get kicked out once, and you'll tell me what you got kicked out for. Sound good? Good."

Sora opened his mouth to refuse but I held up a finger.

"Well, you know how I'm a stupid fuck?" Sora frowned. "I was being smart once, and decided that since they wouldn't let me go for a walk, I'd figure out how to piss them off until they were sick of me. So I booby trapped the entire house. No big deal, right? Well, I also put viruses on my mom's phone and computer."

Sora's eyes widened.

I grinned. "She was _pissed._ I spent the next month cleaning the house and fixing the computer. She had to get a new phone, though."

Sora smiled softly.

I stared at him expectantly, and after a few minutes, prompted him with a, "well?"

"Well, what?"

"It's your turn. Why did you get kicked out?"

Sora froze. "I, uh...don't think it's a good idea..."

"Sora, what could I possibly judge you about?"

"Well...a lot of things?"

"Think about it... my brother's an ex druggy, my mom listens to slipknot, I was in a long term relationship with a tree-"

"Wait, what?" Sora asked, laughing. "You were in a long term relationship with _what?_"

"A tree. Her name was Maple. She was a male-to-female transsexual tree. We were getting ready for our wedding when mom announced that we were moving. She couldn't come, obviously, so now I'm you know, heartbroken."

Sora laughed, the kind of laugh where the person starts hyperventilating and crying and rolling all over the place. I didn't think it was that funny, but...okay then. When he sobered up a little, he sat up holding his sides and wiped at the corner of one eye. "Thanks, Riku. I needed that."

"Yeah, yeah...laugh at my pain. I see how it is," I said, crossing my arms over my chest and turning my nose up at him.

"Ah-I didn't mean to-"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm joking, Sora. Now seriously, what's up, kid?"

Sora bit his lip. "Promise you won't get mad, or hate me, or judge me, or kick me out, or hit me?"

"Yes, Sora, I promise."

"I'm gay."

I blinked. "Uh, okay."

"No, really."

"It's not that I don't believe you, I just don't see why you're telling me this," I said, shrugging. "It was kind of obvious."

"It...it was?"

"Yeah...I mean, you read yaoi, Sora. I'm not stupid.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So you're okay with that?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well... 'cause you know... I'm gay, and you're a guy...and..."

"Sora, you know I'm pansexual, right?"

He stared at me blankly.

"I don't have a gender or sex preference. But that doesn't mean I'm attracted to everyone I see, does it? It's the same for gay guys. I really don't care what you like, Sora," I said, and then bit my lip, turning to him. "Unless, of course, you like tentacles. Then I'm sorry, but you'll just have to go."

Sora shook his head, suppressing a shudder. "Never...again. I am _never_ searching that again. Ew."

"Thank god."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading! And reviewing, if you did. :D**

mochiusagi: lol, I actually know someone who's watched Gravitation. He didn't know it was shounen-ai/yaoi until we told him. He didn't believe us. It was great. xD And pfft, speedo _clearly_ means swimtrunks. I don't know what you're talking about. pffft. xD

egyptian1995: I'm glad to hear it! :) I couldn't resist making them both anime geeks. The temptation was too strong, lol.


	4. Philanderer

Sora sighed, and leaned back on my bed. "Your bed smells good. It's making me sleepy."

"Weird. Everyone else says it smells like a dead horse," I said, shrugging. It was a well known fact amongst my family that I was part heater, and so my sheets were generally soaked in sweat.

"Well, they just smell like you to me."

Curious, I smelled myself, and made a face. Sora giggled. "Yeah, whatever. I haven't showered since Thursday." It was now Sunday afternoon.

"That's disgusting, Riku! Go clean yourself!"

I grinned. "Whatever, Sora. We both know you were totally smelling me earlier."

"Your shirt smells good..."

"Thanks, I've been wearing it on and off since Friday," I said, grinning.

"You're disgusting, Riku."

I shrugged. "Considering I've basically laid around the house the entire weekend, and went swimming on Friday... not really."

"True..." Sora said, wrinkling his nose and rolling over onto his stomach, and then flopping over completely so he was on his back. "Rikuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, I'm tireeeeddddd."

"It's like... three o'clock in the afternoon."

He flailed. "I don't care. Let's take a nap."

"How 'bout we don't, and we eat ice cream instead?"

Sora seemed to consider this for a good thirty seconds before springing up out of bed and following me to the kitchen, where we sat on the counter and ate the last of the ice cream out of the tub.

"Riku, I'm ho-oh. Hello," my mother said, stopping short at the sight of the brunette sitting on her counter eating ice cream with me.

"Hey mom. This is Sora. Sora, that's the woman who created this masterpiece," I said, gesturing to myself. "You can call her mommy."

My mother snorted and dumped her purse on the dinner table. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Sora. Riku neglected to tell me he had friends."

"Oh, no, we're not friends, mom," I said, shaking my head. I smirked and glanced over at Sora, who was staring at me wide-eyed. "We're _bestest buddies._"

Sora snickered, and my mom rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Riku. Did you get your homework done?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I had homework?"

"I don't know, did you?"

"Since when have I ever _done_ homework?"

"Since always?"

"Have I?"

"Oh my god. We are _not_ doing this tonight, Riku. Go do your homework."

"I don't _have_ homework."

She threw her arms up in the air and stalked over to the fridge, throwing open the door and grabbing a beer. "Whatever, Riku. Just clean up after yourself and I swear to god, I am _not_ washing your sheets."

Sora turned red at that. "Um, we're not-"

"She's kidding, Sora. Don't get your panties in a bunch."

"I don't wear panties, Riku. I wear boxers. You know that."

"I have my suspicions."

"Not in my kitchen, you don't!" My mom said, eyes narrowed as she took a drink of her beer.

"I thought you didn't support sexism, mom," I said, tilting my head.

"Smart ass," she said, and walked out.

I smirked and shoved a spoonful of ice cream into Sora's mouth. He squeaked and fell off the counter. "Chill out, Sor, it's just ice cream."

"That-that was an indirect kiss, you creep!"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh please. Like it matters."

"It does! You just took my mouth's innocence!"

I blinked. "No, I didn't... but I can if you want me to-but not in here."

Sora blushed bright red. "N-no, that's not-"

"God, you're so weird, Sora. I'm _joking._"

"O-oh. Um..."

"You're so cute, Sora."

He turned a deeper shade of red and I almost was concerned for his health-that shade wasn't exactly normal. But then he covered his face and shook his head violently. "Don't say thattt, Riku. You big meanieface!"

Ooo, ouch. Meanieface. "I'll say it if I want to, cutiepie."

"Ew, get a room," Yaag said, scowling as he grabbed sandwich fixing out of the fridge and going to the other counter.

"Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes as I jumped off the counter. "C'mon, Sor, we'll go have sweaty hot gay sex on his bed."

Yaag threw his jelly spoon at me, which I dodged.

* * *

><p>"You know, you're a real smart Alec, Riku."<p>

"Yeah. But my charming wit totally turns you on," I said, eying the brunette out of the corner of my eye as he turned bright pink.

"It does not!"

"Admit it. You totally have the hots for me," I said, smirking. "You want my bod."

Sora blushed deeper and smacked me on the shoulder. "I do not!"

"Liar, liar, pants on fire!"

"Rikuuuu!" Sora whined, pouting.

"Oh baby, call my name again," I moaned, thoroughly enjoying myself at Sora's expense.

He hid his face-a sign that he _knew_ he was blushing as red as a firetruck,-and shook his head. "Stop itttttt!"

I laughed at him and pried his hands away from his face. "I'll stop it when you stop being fucking adorable," I said, grinning. Sora pouted at me, still red-faced.

"You're being a jerkface, Ri-ri."

Ri-ri? Well, that was a first. I smirked. "It's called flirting, So-so. It's what people do."

"Cloud doesn't."

"Cloud's your cousin. It'd be weird and inappropriate for him to flirt with you," I said, raising an eyebrow. "Do you _want_ him to flirt with you?"

Sora scrunched up his face, shaking his head.

"Well, that's good. I was kinda hoping I wouldn't have you as competition."

Sora's face fell into a look of pure sadness. This kid, I tell ya...pokerface of a fucking puppy.

"I'm just kidding, Sora. I don't like blonds."

"Oh."

"I like cute brunettes with blue eyes and tan skin."

Sora's head shot up, staring at me. "Don't joke about that!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Who said I was joking?"

Sora puffed out his cheeks. "You can't just say stuff like that, Riku! It's not nice...it's-you're being a tease and I don't like it!"

I frowned, walking over to him. "What makes you think I'm being a tease?"

Sora looked away. "Because you're never serious about this kind of thing," he said, refusing to look at me. "And I don't like how you're always toying with me."

I sighed, and grabbed his face, forcing him to look at me. "Sora, do you like me?"

Sora looked to the side. "No."

"Are you lying to me?"

He paused. "...maybe."

"Is that a yes?"

"...maybe."

I smirked. "Are you afraid to answer because you don't want to get rejected or make things awkward?"

"...maybe."

"Is that the only word you know?"

"...possibly."

I smirked, and released his face, and going back over to where I was sifting through my clothes before. "Well, when you grow a pair, feel free to tell me. Until then, I'm going to continue to shamelessly flirt with you."

"Jerk."

"You love it."

Sora laid back on my bed, and muttered something under his breath that I couldn't quite make out.


	5. Arcanum

"Riku, are you hiding something from me?"

I blinked. "No? Why would you think that, mom?"

"You're not like...hoarding small animals in your room or anything?"

"Uh, not that I'm aware of."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm pretty sure it'd be news to me if I was. Why?"

"Well...it's just that you've been awfully...private lately. It's not like you."

"Oh. I've been hiding sex slaves in my room. That's all."

"...I don't want to know."

"It's probably better off if you don't," I said, smirking. Sora wasn't technically hidden. I just hadn't exactly told anyone that he'd been kicked out and living in my room yet. No one asked, so...

"Are you and Sora dating?"

"Nope."

"You like him though, don't you?"

"Sure."

"Do his parents know he's gay?"

"Yep."

"How'd they take that?"

Well, shit. "They kicked him out."

My mom slammed on the breaks as a minivan pulled out in front of her suddenly. "Is he okay?"

"Oh yeah. He's totally fine. You see him everyday."

She chewed her lip. "How old is Sora?"

"Seventeen."

"He can't live in your room, Riku."

"But moooommmmmmmmm."

"No, Riku. Until he's eighteen, I could be charged with kidnapping."

"Mom, he was _thrown out onto the streets and told to go die._ I highly doubt his parents are going to accuse you of kidnapping."

"Doesn't he have anyone else who can house him? Any other family?"

"Well, there's Cloud, but uh, he kinda lived with him, so...no."

"Okay. Well...I'm going to pretend that we never had this conversation and I never knew anything about it."

"Cool," I said, looking out the window. We were going on an epic adventure to...well, I wasn't completely sure, to be honest, but I'd had to leave Sora alone in my room and I was a little worried that he'd get into my porn stash.

I'm not sure he'd be able to handle it.

"Riku, your phone's going off."

"Oh. Crap," I said, and looked at the screen. I didn't recognize the number. "Hello?"

_ "Riku?"_

"Who's this?"

_ "This is Kairi. You know, from school?"_

"Right. What do you want?"

_ "Um, well... you know how there's that dance coming up?"_

"No."

_ "Oh...well it's a real big deal around here, I'm surprised you-"_

"No, I was saying no I won't get Sora to go with you."

_ "I wasn't—"_

"Right, and I'm the Queen of Spain."

_ "I was actually going to ask you..."_

I flinched. It was a big enough flinch that my mom noticed and snorted at me. "Listen, Kairi, I'm kind of...with someone, you know?"

_"You can't go to a school dance with a tree!"_

I held back my laughter. "Why can't I?"

_ "B-because it's a tree, Riku! It can't dance!"_

I scoffed. "Who said Maple couldn't dance?"

_ "Me! I did! She's a slut and she can't dance to save her life!"_

I gasped dramatically. "How dare you!"

_ "I'm sorry, Riku, but it needed to be said. It really did. Now seriously, will you?"_

"Kairi, you're a great friend. That being said, I don't like you like that."

"_Oh..._" She said, and I could hear the frown in her voice. "_Well...will you at least give me a shot?"_

"No, Kairi. Because you'll just get more hurt if I lead you on. And to be honest...I kind of already have my eye on someone."

"_You do? Ooo, I know! It's Tifa, isn't it? You know she's going with Cloud, right? They're so cute together,_" she said.

I rolled my eyes. "No, Kairi. It's Sora."

"_Wha-_"

I hung up. I hung up, and I started laughing so hard I couldn't breath, because Kairi had no flippin' clue. When she called back, I rejected her call. Three times. Then she sent me a text.

Kairi's texting skills were phenomenal, really. _**Wht do u mean its sora?**_

**I want in his pants. Duh. ** I texted back, smirking.

_**Like in the gay way? Dos he no?**_

**Yeah, he knows. Sort of. He's kinda oblivious.**

_**Tell me abot it. Ive ben barking up tht tree 4 like ever.**_

**I think I have an advantage.**

_**Whys that?**_

**Well, he falls asleep in my arms every night, for one.**

_**What? Call me now!**_

I rolled my eyes, but decided to humor her.

_"What have you been doing to my Sora?_" She cried into the phone.

"Your Sora? And nothing. He's my friend. He spends the night sometimes."

"_You said every night!" _

"Well...yeah? He spends the night a lot. I don't see why you've got your panties in a bunch, Kairi. It's not like you ever had a chance with him anyways."

_"W-what's that supposed to mean?"_

"Well he's rejected you what, three times now? Take a hint, chicka. He's not into you."

_"But why notttttt?"_

"Ugh, I don't know, Kairi. I mean, I just don't know what's wrong with him. There you are, a hot redhead, practically _throwing_ yourself at him, and he just doesn't want you. Maybe..." I gasped, "maybe..."

_"Maybe what?"_

"Maybe he likes cock!" I shouted into my phone, and hung up.

I loved fucking with people. I really did. It was like my anti-drug.

Kairi called back, and I answered it in a falsetto coupled with a thick Mexican accent. "_Who is __**this?**_" She asked, completely thrown off.

"Thees ees Pedro can I take your order?" I said.

_"Um...no?"_

I hung up.

"You are such a troll," my mom said, shaking her head.

Yeah, my mom knows her internet slang. She's a lovely woman. I grinned, putting my hands behind my head. "Yeah, I know," I said.

Kairi called back, again. I answered it this time with a loud female moan.

_"S-sorry, w-wrong number!"_She said, and disconnected.

"You do that a little _too_ well, Riku."

"What can I say? I have a lot of-"

"I do _not_ want to know that, Riku!"

I smiled. My phone buzzed with a call, _again._ This time, I answered normally. "Wanna get it on in the back of a pickup truck?"

"_Oh my god. That is not how you answer the phone, Riku."_

"Oh, hi Sor. You need something?"

"_Uh, I need an explanation for that greeting..."_

"Do you like it?" I asked, twirling my hair absentmindedly. "I'm testing out new ways to greet people."

"_Riku, can't you be serious for once in your life?"_

"No," I said, just to be an ass. "Anyways, what do you need, kiddo?"

_"Um, I just wanted you to know that I, uh...accidentally...found...your porn?"_

Dammit... "Oh... Well, do you like it?"

_"What? No-I mean, I'm sure it's good quality, but I-you know what? No. No. I am not doing this. Forget I said anything. You're just going to tease me. I don't know why I even-dammit, Kairi, stop calling me!-ugh. I need to deal with her. I'll see you when you get home." _

"Whoa, Sora, did you just curse?"

_"I—what? Did I? Um, anyways...bye."_

Mind. Blown.

* * *

><p>"Riku! You're back!" Sora said, his whole face lighting up as I walked through my bedroom door. He launched himself at me, jumping and wrapping his limbs around my body as we spun to keep from falling. He giggled and looked me in the eyes, the light reflecting off them and making them look like they were dancing with happiness.<p>

"Well hello, Sora. To what do I owe for the excited greeting?"

He grinned, and rested his forehead against mine. "I missed you," he said quietly.

"Are you feeling okay, Sora?"

"You're my best friend, Riku."

"Yeah?"

"And best friends can trust each other with anything, right?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Yeah..? Where are you going with this, Sor?"

"You're taking me to the dance."

"Um...okay?"

"I've never been to one before."

"Alright..."

"You're teaching me how to dance."

"Um..."

"And then you're going to give me my first kiss."

"Well I could just-"

He held up a finger. "Nope. I want it to be romantic. This is a big deal for me, Riku."

"Right. So you want some Disney princess shit, then?"

"...basically. Minus the dresses and the drama."

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"Yep. I'll take you to the dance, teach you to dance, and give you your first kiss."

"And you won't tease me about it?"

I pretended to be considering it. "Well..."

Sora pouted. "Rikuuuuu, please! This is important to me!"

I grinned. "Okay, fine. But I'm totally telling the kids this when you magically gain the ability to bear children and pop a few out."

Sora narrowed his eyes at me. "Why do _I_ have to be the mom?"

"Why wouldn't you?"

"You're the one with long hair."

"You're the uke."

"I am not!"

I gave him a look. The kind of look that screams 'really?' without saying anything.

"I'm not!"

"Right. Okay. Well how about this-because you're smaller, less muscular, and sound like a little girl on the phone."

"I-what?"

"You sound like a twelve year old girl on the phone."

"You're not serious, right?"

"You didn't know?"

Sora shook his head.

"Oh. Well, now you do."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hope you liked it! And here's a sneak peak for the next chapter that'll /probably/ be up soon anyways. xD**

_"So, anyways, for the dance-"_

_ "I am_ not _ wearing a dress."_


	6. Scrimmage

It was your average Monday. I was sitting next to the pool in my dark blue with white dragon design swim trunks, just like I did everyday at the beginning of Aquatics class.

And then, suddenly, a group of rowdy, shouting boys emerged from the locker room-a fight.

Now, this wouldn't bother me much if it wasn't for the fact that, a) it was totally one sided, and b) the person getting the crap beat out of him by a group of dickwads was my best friend and the kid I shared a bed with (in a totally not sexual way). So naturally I jumped up and started throwing scrawny little underclassmen aside until I was basically in the center of it.

I managed to push Sora out of the crowd and started pummeling the dipshit who'd apparently started it (because he had started attacking me, the prat), before I was pulled away by Cid.

"You three," he said, pointing to me, Sora, and the prat who'd started all this. "Office. Now."

I nodded, fixing the instigator with a steady glare until he set off, and following after, keeping Sora beside me. Once we got into the hall, though, it was a whole 'nother story.

"Mind telling me what the fuck you were doing, kid?" I asked the boy in front of me.

"He's a fag. He deserved it."

I scoffed. "Right. You're a ginger, so you deserve to be lit on fire at a stake."

He scowled at me. "You wanna go, bitch?"

I punched him in the face. He fell over. I pulled him up by the arm and dragged him to the office with me, letting a wide eyed Sora trail behind me like a scared puppy.

The lady at the desk glanced up at us and jumped backwards slightly. "Uh...what can I do for you fellows?"

"Hi there. We'd all like to be suspended for fighting? Thanks," I said, throwing the boy further into the office. He stumbled but caught himself on the desk.

"George?" The lady called.

The principal walked out, and stared blankly at us. We were, after all, three shirtless boys covered in newly formed bruises. "Um, hello, boys."

"We got in a fight. We're at your mercy. Do as you please with us."

The principal was clearly not used to my reaction, as he paused for a second before beckoning us to follow him.

* * *

><p>Since technically, Sora never threw any punches, and I did it to defend Sora, we were just given detention, whilst the boy who I learned to be a sophomore named Jake, was suspended for three days.<p>

Sora was, of course, mad at me, and went on a mantra of 'violence doesn't solve anything,' which I knew was total bullshit, because Sora was actually pretty violent. I tuned him out and drew a beautiful drawing, which I folded up into an airplane and chucked at his face.

Sora was not amused.

Nonetheless, he unfolded my drawing and stared at it, tilting his head for a minute and then looking at me with a massive scowl.

"You're lucky they just locked us in here and left, Riku."

"Hell yeah I am," I said, grinning. "Aren't I the most talented artist you ever met?"

"Actually...yeah, kind of. I mean, it's really not appropriate, but you're really good at drawing, Riku."

"Oh, thanks. I've been practicing."

Sora rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you have, Riku."

"No, I'm being serious, I have-I've been working on a yaoi since I was like...ten."

"Right."

"I'll show you it when we get home. It's been redone about five times over, but...it's pretty decent now," I said smiling slightly.

"Okay." He said, and glanced around the room, drumming his fingers on the desk, both legs bouncing.

"What're you so anxious about?"

"I've never had detention before."

"It doesn't go on your record, chill out."

"My parents called me during lunch."

"What did they want?"

"They just told me I was being disowned, you know. Normal parent stuff."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

He ceased his finger drumming. "Roxas wants me to move in with him."

"No."

Sora's head shot up. "What?"

"You are not moving in with Roxas. I don't care if I have to tie you up and lock you in my closet."

"You're not the boss of me."

"Sora."

"Riku."

"Sora."

"Riku."

"Roxas is gay."

"You don't know that."

"I slept with him, once."

"No, you didn't."

"How would you know? You weren't there."

Sora bit his lip. "Because you're saving it for marriage."

"I don't—-where the heck did you get that notion?"

Sora sighed. "You didn't sleep with my cousin."

"Um, actually..."

"No, you didn't, Riku."

"What's your problem?"

"You. Didn't. Sleep with. Roxas."

"Okay?"

"How could you?" Sora yelled, and I realized that he was crying now.

"What? What's wrong?"

"He's my cousin, Riku! You-how could you?"

"Hey, it's not like he didn't want it. It was a mutual agreement."

"How could-what?"

"We were hanging out, and he was like, 'hey Riku, wanna makeout?' and I was like 'yeah, sure, why not,' and then we ended up getting into it, and he was like 'Riku, let's fuck' and so I was like 'sure, where do you keep the condoms and lube,' and he pointed to the drawer next to his bed, and so then I got them out, and we, you know, fucked."

"Oh, my god. Just... oh my god. You slept with Roxas."

"Uh, yeah."

Sora bit his lip. "Is that why you like me? Because I look like him?"

"Um, no. You really don't look that much like him, and to be honest, Roxas and I never really got along."

"What do you mean?"

"Roxas is like a girl on her period. Except it never ends."

"Riku!"

"What? I'm being serious here. He's really moody."

Sora stared at me for a second and looked away. "I can't believe you slept with my cousin."

I shrugged. "I never said I was a virgin, did I?"

"But what about Maple?"

"This was before I got with her."

"Oh, okay."

Subject dropped.

* * *

><p>"So, Sora," I said, putting an arm around him as I walked up to him and nuzzling his head.<p>

"Yes, Riku?"

"We're going back to my hometown for the holidays, you wanna be cramped in a car with us for three days?"

"Um, I guess...why are you asking me now?"

I shrugged. "Mom wanted to know. I should go tell her," I said, walking back to where my maternal parental unit was located and relaying the message. After that, I walked back to the kitchen, where Sora was now sitting on the counter eating a sandwich. I walked over and sat next to him, leaning into his shoulder. He rolled his eyes and held the sandwich up for me to take a bite of, and I gladly accepted.

"So anyways, for the dance-"

"I am _not_ wearing a dress."

"Dammit!" I said, throwing my arms up. "How'd you know?"

"Because I _know_ you, Riku. And I _know_ you fantasize about me in a dress when you get off in the shower."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you told me, Riku. Remember?"

"Oh yeahhhhhhhhhh," I said, recalling the conversation we'd had a few nights ago in bed.

* * *

><p><em>"Hey, Riku?"<em>

_ "Yeah, Sora?"_

_ "If you're not a virgin, does that mean you have to get laid regularly?"_

_ "Uh...no..?"_

_ "Oh. But don't you get like, frustrated or something?"_

_ "Well, that's what I have my left hand for, Sor."_

_ "I didn't need to know that."_

_ "Psh, whatever. We all do it-well, no, that's not true. I know someone who doesn't, but he's probably the only one."_

_ "I don't know what you're talking about, Riku."_

_ "Oh, uh, he's pretty much asexual. Like, completely. Poor guy."_

_ "Will you shut up?"_

_ "So what do you think about when you do it?"_

_ "I...uh, don't?"_

_ "Sometimes I think about you in a dress. It's really hot, you know."_

_ "Oh my god, Riku, shut up."_

_ "And other times I think about you as a neko."_

_ "Riku!"_

_ "And I think about making love to you all night long."_

_ "I don't want to hear this, Riku!" Sora said, squirming. "What do I have to do to get you to shut up?"_

_ "Tell me what you think about when you jack off."_

_ Sora sighed. "I don't know. Just...stuff I guess."_

_ "Stuff as in, 'hey, I wonder if there's a new episode of House on tonight?' and 'Did I have math homework?' or stuff as in, 'oh my god, he's sooo hot, I wish he'd shove his dick in my ass?'"_

_ "Riku?"_

_ "Yes, honey?"_

_ "Shut up."_

_ "Not until you tell me."_

_ "Okay, fine. If you really must know, I think about butterflies. There, happy?"_

_ "Oh my god, what? You think about _what?_"_

_ "Butterflies."_

_ "Like, little insects that fly into your face and die on your shoe and feast on rotting corpses and cow pies?"_

_ "Uh...no?"_

_ "What kind of butterflies?"_

_ "Um... the kind in your stomach-do you really think about me?"_

_ "Oh. And uh, yeah? Sometimes. Sometimes I think about Maple."_

_ "How is she, by the way?"_

_ "How the fuck should I know, Sor? Go to sleep."_

_ "wha-I-fine."_

* * *

><p>Ahhhh, late night conversations with Sora. I smiled, and then turned back to him. "Why won't you wear a dress?"<p>

"Because I'm not a girl?"

"So?"

"Listen, Riku. If you let me dress how I want for the dance, I'll wear a dress for Halloween. Just for you. Deal?"

I grinned. "Deal."

Sora shook his head and offered me the rest of his sandwich, jumping down when I took it and heading out of the room.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed it. :)  
><strong>

Oh, hello, there, morning. Fancy meeting you here. hurrdurr.  
>No wonder this story just keeps getting crackier by the second...<p>

dearlybelovedangel: ha, I know, right? And yeah, Riku was kind of a major ass to his old friends. But he's a man of his word, at least? xD


	7. Terpsichore

I have a love/hate relationship with school dances. I'm not going to be like every other nerdy guy and claim that they're stupid because I can't dance-which, by the way, I can,-but I will say that I don't really like them. It's not because it's hosted by the school. No, no.

It's because it's loud, someone always spikes the punch, and there's always this massive crowd of horny teens practically having an orgy in the center. It's just...not a fun place to be. I'm not entirely sure how Sora thought this was going to be romantic, but he seemed to be enjoying himself-I guess the appeal of 'first dance' still hadn't worn off for him.

"Rikuuuuuuu," came the voice I'd learned to gag at. "You didn't tell me you'd be here!"

"Yeah, 'cause I didn't want you to know," I said.

She furrowed her brows. "What was that? I didn't hear you."

"It must have slipped my mind," I said instead, rolling my eyes. "God, Kairi, it's not that loud."

She smiled and nodded, because she probably still didn't catch that, and took my hand. "C'mon, Riku, let's dance!"

I yanked my hand out of her grip. "I'm here with someone," I said, shaking my head.

"Oh, you are?"

"Yeah, he's in the bathroom," I said, which also explained why I was, you know, standing in front of the bathroom.

"He? Oh, you're here alone, aren't you?"

"No, Kairi. I'm here with my _boy_friend. Go away, chicka."

"You have a boyfriend? And you didn't tell me?" Kairi cried out, putting her hands on her hips. "And what about Maple?"

I laughed. "Dude, I broke up with Maple _ages_ ago. Get with it, Kai," I said, playfully shoving her. I didn't even really think about it, until I saw her almost fall over. I grabbed her arm to steady her. "Er, sorry...I forget how fragile girls are," I said, because honestly the only females I associated myself with willingly were Tifa (bamf), and back home Xion, who was practically a guy anyways.

"Alright, I'm back," Sora said, as he walked up beside me. "Oh, hi Kairi!"

"Sora!" Kairi squealed, launching herself at the poor brunette, who flailed helplessly at her attack. "What are you doing here? I _never_ see you at dances!"

"I, um, uh-" Sora shot me a look that screamed _help!_

"Kairi, get off my date," I said rolling my eyes.

Kairi fell away, practically _leaped_ away. "Your—your _what?_"

"My _date._ You know, the kid who I'm here with? Yeah."

"Sora's your—-"Kairi seemed to put two and two together. I really have to commend her, because I think she finally got four. "Sora! You didn't tell me you were gay!"

"I, uh, listen, Kairi-"

"You could have just _told_ me, I mean geez! I could have used someone to go dress shopping with!"

"Looks like you did okay without him," I muttered, eyes flicking over the pink (or was it orange?) dress that hugged her scrawny (yet somehow curvy) body.

I was, of course ignored. Kairi was now reveling in thoughts of her new-found gay best friend. "Oh my god, you can be like, my gay best friend! And we can like, go to the mall and check out guys, and you can help me shop, and then we can have a total girls night out, and do our nails, and-"

The look on Sora's face was priceless, really. However, I had promised to make this a _good_ night for him, so I begrudgingly butted in. "Hey, Kairi? It looks like Tidus wants to dance with you," I said, pointing in some random direction.

"Whaaaattttt? Oh my god, really?" Kairi squealed, and ran off in the direction I'd pointed.

Sora and I simultaneously rolled our eyes as she left. "So, anyways, how about I teach you to dance?"

Sora grinned and took my hand, letting me lead him to the outskirts of the dance floor.

* * *

><p>Sora was actually a really good dancer- and could keep a beat. Me? Well, I always say that beats are like rules.<p>

In other words I am the biggest troll in existence when it comes to dances.

But, since seeing Sora in drag was at stake, I controlled myself. Sora seemed to be enjoying himself, at least.

And then, because my life is pretty much a big cliched mess, a slow song began playing. Everyone groaned and most walked off the dance floor. I was amongst the groaners in my heart, because it was so much harder to have fun with slow dances.

Sora looked at me helplessly, and I realized he had no flippin' clue what was happening. I smirked, and placed his arms around my neck. Since he was so short, he was practically on top of me when I did this. I wasn't complaining. I placed my hands on his waist, and started swaying to the beat like everyone else on the dance floor.

"So, uh, having fun so far?" I asked, trying not to sound awkward.

Sora nodded.

"What, I don't elicit an audible response?"

Sora frowned at me.

It was at that time that I noticed that his face was red and splotchy, and tears were welling up in his blue eyes. "Geez, Sora...don't cry. What's wrong, buddy?"

Sora's lower lip quivered, and that was the end of that. Tears spilled over. I had a second of internal war, because normally when people start crying I run away (it's a guy thing, really), but I really couldn't do that, so I let go of his waist in favor of his face, wiping away his tears with my thumbs.

"Hey now...don't be sad," I said, my voice taking on a weird male-mother-hen tone.

"I'm not sad," he said, but since he was crying it sounded vaguely like a dieing alien in a vat of acid.

…

"Okay... did you get hurt?"

Sora shook his head, and I realized he was smiling like a beast through all those tears. "I'm just really lucky to have a best friend like you," he said, but it still sounded like...well, yeah. Dieing alien in a vat of acid.

"You're so cute, Sor," I said, shaking my head. I grabbed his hands and pressed my forehead against his.

"Rikuuuuuuuu, don't say thattttttt," he said, pouting. He'd stopped crying now-I swear this kid had the waterworks on a secret remote and he just pressed on and off-and was now blushing.

Sora blushed a lot. It was endearing. Really.

"I'm just telling you the truth," I said, frowning slightly. "Did you want me to lie and say you were a slimy three thousand ton space alien with tentacles for arms?"

"Yes," Sora said, looking me dead in the eye.

After having lived with me for almost a month...the kid was seriously turning into something great. I couldn't be more proud of him.

"Hey Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you kiss me now?"

"Here?"

Sora nodded.

"Alright," I said, leaning down and pressing my lips to his. I pulled away, brow furrowed. "You're supposed to kiss me back, Sor."

"Oh..." he said, blushing. I rolled my eyes at him and tried again, this time with him responding.

"Get a room!"

I groaned, flicking off a certain busty brunette girl and hopelessly lost blond boy, but not bothering to pull away from Sora. We weren't eating each other's faces- honestly I don't know that Sora had it in him to do such a thing,- so I really didn't give a fuck. Eventually Sora pulled away and smiled.

"Thanks, Riku," he said, burying his face in my chest.

"Anytime, Sora."

"You smell nice."

"Quit smelling me, you weirdo."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Riku?"<p>

I considered pretending to be asleep and not answering, but that never worked out so well, so I responded with a grunt to show that I was still mostly conscious.

"Can you teach me how to make out?"

I snickered. "You're so blunt about this kind of thing..." I said, and crawling over on top of him. "Just call me Sensei and do as I do."

Sora smiled up at me, and laced his arms around my neck.

I pressed my lips to his, and he responded quickly. After doing that for a little while, I ran my tongue over his lips, asking for entrance. Sora, however, didn't know what this meant and stuck his tongue out to meet mine. I inwardly rolled my eyes, because they were currently shut (I got dizzy when I didn't shut them, and that's never fun), and slipped my hand up his shirt, making him gasp. I, of course, used that as a way to get into his mouth, exploring to my hearts content as Sora just kinda wiggled his tongue. Which, if you didn't know, is kinda awkward, so I took it upon myself to poke and prod his tongue with mine until I was able to do the so-called tongue tango with it.

And then Sora moaned. Like a girl.

Now, honestly, that _should_ have made me want to keep going. But, honestly, I started laughing in his mouth, and rolled off him, holding my stomach as I laughed my ass off.

"Wha-don't laugh at me!" Sora pouted.

"I'm sorry, but that was just- I'm too tired for you to be moaning like a girl."

"Jerk."

I grinned, as despite that he cuddled up into my side, an arm slung across my waist, and a leg tossed over mine. Sora was a cuddler. He apparently enjoyed waking up drenched in my sweat every morning.

Weirdo.

"So, just curious, do you enjoy being covered in my sweat?"

"You're warm," he said, not really answering me.

"Is that a yes?"

"You're going to try to turn this into something dirty, and I don't want you to go there."

"I'm going to assume that's a yes."

"Rikuuuuuuu," he groaned.

I moaned. "Call my name again," I said.

"You're disgusting, Riku."

"You like it."

"I guess."

"Ha! Yes! You like me!" I said, grinning.

"Shut uppppppp!"

"You _like_ me."

"Riku."

I grinned. "Yes, sweetheart?"

"I am going to knee you. In the dick."

"You can do other thi-," cue knee to the groin, "ow, shitfuckdamn," I said, as I curled into fetal position.

Lesson of the day: Sora _always_ keeps his word.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading! :D  
><strong>

dearlybelovedangel: Well, I needed something for Sora to get mad about. Apparently he doesn't approve of that pairing either. xD And unfortunately, there's a lot of unreasonable parents out there. /:


	8. Encroachment

"I hate Christmas."

The look of horror on Sora's face was priceless. He looked like Santa had just killed his puppy. And his entire family.

The Santa Massacre.

"How can you hate _Christmas?_"

"It's stupid. If I want to give someone shit, I'll give them shit. I shouldn't have to do it on a designated day."

"Riku!"

"I'm serious, Sora. If I wanted to give you something, I'd do it when I felt like it, not on some pagan holiday converted into some christian bullshit and commercialized to be about an old dead guy."

Sora puffed out his cheeks at me, and went back to playing pokemon on my DS. We were staying at my grandparent's house, despite the fact that they weren't even here and wouldn't be until _after_ Christmas. Yeah. My family is really close knit.

"Hey, Riku, don't you have any friends here?"

"Well, in my hometown, I did."

"You _did?_"

"Well, I told them I'd replace them and never contact them again within a week. So now we don't ever talk, and will probably never see each other again."

"Riku!"

"What?"

"You can't just neglect your friends because you move! What's _wrong_ with you?" Sora asked, picking up a book and chucking it at my head. "We're going to go make amends."

"Ugh, seriously?"

"Yes, Riku. Now, put some pants on."

* * *

><p>"So, lemme get this straight. You expect us to just <em>let <em> you back into our lives after you treated us like shit and stopped talking to us completely?" Axel asked, leaning against his door frame. "I don't think so."

"See, Sor? There's no hope. We should just go home. I am totally hopeless in friendship, and you need to punish me."

"Riku, no. You are _not_ getting out of this," Sora said, puffing out his cheeks. He turned to Axel. "Axel, I'm really sorry for his bad manners. My name is Sora," he said, holding out a hand. "I'm Roxas' cousin, from Utah."

"Oh, cool. Does Rox know you're in town?"

"Well...no," Sora said, scratching his head. "We don't really...talk much."

Axel raised an eyebrow, and leaned back into his house. "Yo, Roxy! C'mere, babe."

"So you finally won the fight?" I asked, smirking. I knew Roxas would choose Axel. It was written in the stars.

Axel rolled his eyes at me, and made space for Roxas, who looked like he'd just woken up, as he sauntered out in his boxers. His chest was _covered_ in bite marks. I risked a glance at Sora, who was staring at his cousin's chest, mortified.

"Eh...hey Riku, who's he?"

Sora's jaw dropped. "You—-you don't remember me?" he asked, pouting.

Roxas scanned the brunette before him. "Oh, it's _you._ What are you doing here?"

Sora pouted. "You're not happy to see me?"

Roxas squinted. "Well, no, not really."

"Uh...anyways, Sora wants me to make amends for my asshattery, so can we be cool now?" I asked Axel.

Axel seemed to mull this over, and shrugged. "Yeah, sure. For a price."

"Seriously?"

Whilst the cousins battled it out on the steps, Axel dragged me into the house. "Yeah, seriously."

"Aren't you with Roxas now, though?"

"It's not serious. We just fuck. A lot."

Oh. Fuck buddies. "I don't wanna fuck up you guys' relationship, Axel. That sort of system never works out, you know."

Axel looked me over. "You scared, or something?"

He shoved me down onto the bed I assumed was his. "Not really," I said, smirking. "Since when have I _ever_ been scared?"

"Good," he said, biting down on my ear. "'Cause I'm going to take you for a ride either way."

* * *

><p>And no, I didn't actually fuck Axel. In reality, we went on a trip to Xion and Larxene's house (Xion had moved in when she turned 18) on Axel's moped. Yes, a moped. It took forever. I don't think Sora and Roxas noticed we were gone, though.<p>

Our visit to Xion and Larxene went something like this:

"_Ew, holy shit, what are you doing here? I thought I'd gotten rid of all the trolls,"Larxene said, as I was pulled into her half naked body. Today seemed like national 'answer the door shirtless' day, as Larxene was only wearing a lacy black bra and black skinny jeans. _

_ "This fucker came back for the holidays, showed up on my front steps begging for friendship," Axel said, rolling his eyes. _

_ "Holy shit, Riku? What the shit, man? I haven't talked to you in forever," Xion said, walking up, wearing the same thing as Larxene. Seriously? What the fuck._

_ "Is it like answer the door without a shirt on day or something?" I asked, as I was pulled into a hug from Xion._

_ "You act like you don't like it," Xion said, snickering. "What've you been doing, lately? Or, should I ask, _who_ have you been doing lately?"_

_ I pffted at her. "I've been trying to bang Roxas' cousin, but he's too innocent."_

_ "Oh my god, you poor baby! How long has it been since you got laid, lover boy?" Larxene asked, petting me._

_ I groaned. "Like two years. I had to switch hands."_

_ "You poor baby," Xion said, rubbing my back. "You can cry on momma's shoulder, it's okay."_

_ I pretended to sniffle, and nodded, throwing myself at Axel, crying 'Mommy.'_

_ "Why do I always wind up being your mom?"_

_ "It's the hips," we all said in unison, much to Axel's chagrin. He had some serious child bearing hips. _

_ "I hate you all. I really do," he said, shaking his head. _

* * *

><p>"Where were you two?" Roxas asked, glancing wearily at us as we pulled into the driveway.<p>

I wandered over to them, faking a limp. "Oh, you know...around."

"Oh my god, Riku, are you hurt? Oh my god! Do you want me to kiss it better?" Sora asked, flailing.

I glanced at him. "I'm not sure you want to kiss it better, kid," Axel said, throwing an arm around my shoulder.

"Did you two really?" Roxas asked, an eyebrow raised. "Actually... knowing you two, that doesn't even surprise me."

"What? What did they do?"

"They, um..." Roxas scratched his head. "You know..." He made a gesture with his hands.

Sora's jaw dropped. "Riku! You didn't!"

I laughed. "I didn't, don't worry. We went to pester our lady friends."

Sora narrowed his eyes at me. "With your dick?"

"No! God, Sora, I was there like five minutes!"

His eyes narrowed further.

"That isn't enough time for me to even get off. Come on, Sora. You _know_ how long I take."

"Whoa, Riku, too much information," Axel said, snorting.

Sora was redder than Axel's hair at this point, from what I guessed was probably mostly anger. I sighed, and pulled him into my chest. "Come on, Sora. Don't be mad at me," I said, frowning.

"But you're a whore!"

I stilled. "Did you just-"

"Yes I did, and I won't take it back! You're a dirty, filthy, cousin-fucking, whore!"

"Aw, you're so sweet, Sora," I purred, rubbing my face on his hair.

"Quit messing around, Riku! I'm serious!"

I sighed. "Sora, just because I'm not a virgin doesn't mean I'm a whore," I said, holding him out so I could look him in the eyes. "I haven't had sex with anyone in almost two years."

"You're a slut."

"No, Sora. I'm not. I don't sleep with random people. I'll admit I've fucked around with the majority of my friends, but I have like six, and two of them are in a closed relationship."

"You're not helping your case."

"I can tell you exactly who I've done and how many times."

"Then tell me, _Riku,_" Sora spat.

"Alright. I'm sure your cousin and his butt buddy don't want to hear it though, so let's go home, eh?"

Sora puffed out his cheeks but agreed.

* * *

><p>"I did Roxas once," I said, looking at him out of the corner of my eye. "I didn't much care for him. He wasn't a good lay."<p>

"Didn't have to go into detail..."

"It was really awkward, because he likes to cuddle afterward, and was uncharacteristically sweet," I said, smirking.

"I don't want to know that, Riku."

"Okay," I said, shrugging. "I did Larxene six times, but for three we were dating."

Sora shifted on the bed.

"Xion I did...twice. She was my first. We'd been dating for a year. She broke it off when Roxas moved to town when we were fifteen."

Sora bit his lip. "And Axel?"

"Not once," I said, smiling. "I've done just about everything but fuck him."

"Anyone else?"

"Well, yeah."

"Spit it out, then," Sora said, glaring at me.

I sighed. "...I don't want to talk about it."

"You said you would."

"I know I did," I said, pinching the bridge on my nose. "But I really don't think I can handle it, okay? I don't like to think about it."

"Riku," Sora said, voice hinting at anger.

"No, Sora. I'll tell you one day, but I really can't, okay?"

"You don't...you don't trust me?"

"Sora... it's not that. It's just...not something I _can_ talk about."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

"But you told me you-"

"I know!" I yelled, and then flinched at the hurt expression on Sora's face. "I'm sorry. I'd tell you if I didn't have so much pride to protect. But I do, so I... can't."

Sora's gaze softened. "I'm sorry, Riku...I didn't know. You never mentioned anything, so I..."

"Don't worry about it," I said, pulling my knees up to my chest. "It's not your fault."

"Wait...what about Maple?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: oh my god. I need to stop bringing up Maple. xD Anyways, thanks for reading! :3**

egyptian1995: ha, yeah, I'm on a roll. I feel like I'm spamming you guys with all the updates. xD  
>I based it off real life school dances, lol. Our school doesn't have punch anymore, but my middle school did and it <em>always<em> got spiked. We were bad kids. :)

dearlybelovedangel: Sora's so fun to write because he's really just super derpy with his naivety. And he's also a three ton slimy tentacle goop alien. Just thought you should know. xDDD


	9. Sapphic

"Hey, Sora...wanna go trespass?"

Sora glanced up at me from where he was buried in the blankets. "No?"

"Well...I thought I'd ask...I didn't know if you wanted to meet Maple or not."

"No, it'd be too awkward."

"Yeah... it would."

"Hey Riku?"

"mhm?"

"Did you really have sex with a tree?"

"Pfft. No, Sora."

"Why do you always tell people you were in a relationship with a tree?"

I pressed my lips together. "I don't know."

"Were you trying to hide from what happened?"

I glanced at him. "You don't know what you're talking about, Sora."

He puffed out his cheeks. "Riku, why are you being so stubborn about this?"

I groaned into my hands. "Sora, sometimes there's things that people like to keep hidden. Sometimes people need to keep secrets from others, because it helps them pretend it never happened."

"That's not healthy, Riku," Sora said, frowning at me.

"Since when were you a psychologist, Sora?"

"I took Advanced Psychology, Riku. I'm going to be a psychologist."

I looked at him to see if he was serious. "Sora, how in the fuck do you expect to spend eight years in college? You're failing math. And English."

"But I'm good at psychology, Riku."

I shook my head. "Whatever you say, Sora. Just... butt out of my life a little, okay?"

"No."

"Please?"

"It's not healthy. I'm just trying to help."

"I don't need help."

"Riku," Sora said, frowning. "You know it always helps to talk about things that bother you."

"No, it just makes me feel worse."

"Everyone feels better after they talk about it."

"Well, I'm not everyone."

"Rikuuu."

"Soraaaa."

"If I tell you something bad that happened to me, will you tell me?"

"No."

"I walked in on my uncle and my mom going at it when I was twelve."

"How unfortunate for you."

"My uncle asked if I wanted to join."

"Your uncle is a creep."

"He's my mom's brother."

"I-ha, incest...ha..."

"Roxas is actually my brother."

"Doesn't really surprise me..."

"We're twins."

"I could see it."

"When we were thirteen we got off together."

"You're really bad at lying, Sora."

"I'm not-how'd you know?"

"Because I've been texting Roxas, and he told me you were bullshitting me."

"Dang it!"

* * *

><p>"Riku, please?"<p>

"No. Shut up and go to sleep."

"Pleeaasssseeeeeeeeee?"

"No."

Sora crawled on top of me, sitting on my ribs. "Pleaseeee?"

"No, Sora."

Sora pressed his lips against mine, kissing me passionately for a solid minute and sat back up. "Nowwww?"

"No."

"What do I have to do, Riku?"

I mulled it over. Or, I pretended to. I actually was thinking of a way to get him to leave me alone about it so I could sleep, since it was now almost four in the morning, and we were set to leave in two hours. With a sigh, I shoved him off me, and crawled over him. He wrapped his limbs around me and smiled up at me.

"You're horny at night, Sora."

"What? That's not even-what?"

"You always want to do things when I want to sleep."

"You always want to do things..."

I smirked. "Do I? Think about that, Sora," I said, resting my head on his chest, my arms wrapped around him. He ran his fingers through my hair, eventually putting me to sleep.

* * *

><p>"<em>Riku! Oh my gosh, we should totally hang out,<em>" Kairi's voice said over the phone.

"Um..."

_"I'll pick you up... but Sora can't come, okay? Just you and me."_

"Uh, okay..."

_"Great! So I'll be there in like, a minute...anddddd I'm here!"_

I don't even want to know how she knows where I live. I really don't. I told her I'd be out in a minute and pried myself away from the sleeping beast named Sora, throwing on some clothes that I hoped were somewhat clean, scribbled a note with a thousand smiley faces, and walked out to Kairi's car.

"Hey, Riku!"

"Good...afternoon? Yeah."

"Did you just wake up?"

"Yeah, we just got back at like six this morning."

"Oh! You should have told me," she said, waving her hand as she drove down the street.

"It's not a big deal." It's not like I was really given a choice...

"So...while you were gone, I made a friend," she said, frowning. "And I really like this friend. But... I don't know how well it'd work out..."

"Well, why not? I'm sure he wouldn't reject you."

"That's just it, Riku...it's not a he."

I blinked, and looked over at her. She was chewing her lip, clearly stressed. "So you're bi-curious. Everyone has that phase."

Kairi sighed. "I'm just... really confused, is all. I mean, sure, I think other girls are pretty, but... I've never felt this way before..."

"So you have your first girl-crush," I said, shrugging. "Tell her how you feel. She'll either experiment with you, or reject you. Either way, it'll cure that problem."

"But... what if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore? What if...what if she tells people? I'll be picked on for the rest of my life, Riku."

"Who is it that you're crushing on?"

Kairi pursed her lips. "Yuffie."

"Short hyper gymnast Yuffie?"

She nodded.

I chuckled. "You don't have anything to worry about, Kai. She's a lesbian."

"How do you know?"

"Well, first off, gaydar," I said, earning a roll of the eyes from the redhead. "Second, ever heard of Facebook? She doesn't really hide it."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So just tell her how you're feeling, and go with it," I said, smiling. "You two would be really cute together."

"...Thanks. I think."

"You're welcome. So where are you taking me?"

* * *

><p>"Riku! Are you okay? She didn't like...molest you or anything, right?" Sora asked, as soon as I walked in the front door. Honestly, I was surprised no one ever bothered to ask why he was there when I wasn't home. My family could be really oblivious sometimes.<p>

"No, Sora. We had a nice little heart-to-heart and she bought me ice cream. That's all."

"You...went on a date with Kairi?"

"No, Sora. She needed advice on a crush that for once isn't you, me, or Tidus."

"Wakka?"

"What?"

"She has a crush on Wakka?"

"Uh, no. She has a crush on a girl."

Sora blinked.

"Yeah, I know," I said, smirking. "Anyways...how are you?"

Sora shrugged. "I just woke up about ten minutes ago."

"Thought so," I said, smiling. I rested my head on his shoulder. "Kairi woke me up at like eleven."

"What a meanieface."

I chuckled. "Yeah. Kairi's a meanieface. She gave me a raging migraine."

"Oh...do you want some medicine?"

"Nah, think I'll just sleep it off..."

"Are you sure?"

I stood up, glancing at him. "You know what they say cures headaches?"

"Uh... medicine?"

"Sex."

"Well...go take a shower then."

"Only if you go with me."

"No, Riku."

I sighed, and retreated to my bedroom.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Jeez. I need to stop. uh, anyways~ Thanks for reading! :3**

dearlybelovedangel: ha yeah it would. xDDD Sora's an angel until it's night. Then he's not. lol.  
>I probably would too, but then again, I'm probably more apt to be in Riku's position. And...well, friends are friends. They stick together. Or maybe that was family... uh, anyways, thanks for always reviewing. :3 Makes me smile and stuff. XD<p> 


	10. Malady

I spent a large portion of the day out on an adventure with my mom, what we liked to call mother-child bonding time. We generally did this at least once a week. We'd go eat food at a restaurant, attempt to hold a normal conversation, and then go grocery shopping.

And that meant that we left Sora at home.

Sometimes I think of Sora as a pet dog. Does that make me a bad person?

Probably.

So, anyways. I had been gone for a few hours. When we got back and unloaded all the groceries, I really wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and sleep.

Well, Sora had different plans, apparently, because I walked into my room to be greeted with one Sora in a maid's outfit. The very same maid's outfit that he'd worn for Halloween just to please me.

Naturally, my response to this was to close the door, wait a few seconds, and try again-just on the off chance that I was hallucinating, because let's face it, it happens.

But nooooooopppeeeee, Sora was still in drag.

"Uh..."

"Well, don't just stand there! Close the door, silly!"

I closed the door, watching the brunette wearily as he pranced (I shit you not, he _pranced_) over to me. "Are you, uh... feeling okay, Sora?" I asked, as his hands trailed down my chest, eventually landing on my belt and tugging.

"I'm feeling wonderful, Riku. Why do you ask?"

"Uh, well... you're in drag and trying to get in my pants."

Sora giggled, pulling me over to the bed with him. "I'm just really happy to see you, Riku," he said, smiling up at me.

"I, uh, can feel that..." I said, still wondering what the fuck was happening. "Did you, ah, drink something you shouldn't have?"

"No, silly, of course not!"

I frowned, and tried to escape.

It was then that I realized that Sora's arms were tentacles, and he was, well...green.

* * *

><p>"Ahhh! Tentacle rape!" I shouted, falling off the bed with a thud.<p>

Sora groaned groggily and sat up. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head, rubbing my face. "Nothing...just a weird dream... I'm going to go puke."

"Okay, have fun," Sora said, and was instantly out cold.

I stumbled into the bathroom, slamming my fist into the button thing that turned the light on, and over to the toilet.

Needless to say, I am never eating Calamari before bed again.

* * *

><p>"Riku," Sora called. "Where are you?"<p>

I groaned in response.

Sora ran over and shook me. "Riku! Are you okay? Should I get your mom?"

I slapped his hands away, groaning. "Tell the world to stop spinning," I said, squeezing my eyes shut.

"What's wrong, Riku?"

"I think I have food poisoning."

"Have you been here all night?"

"No? I think I came here at like... three am."

"Do you want me to bring you anything?"

"Nah... I'm just gonna shrivel up and die here on the bathroom floor, I think," I said, grinning. "I'll be fine in a few hours."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded, and immediately regretted it as the world spun again, despite the fact that my eyes were closed. I heard Sora sit down next to me, and lift my head into his lap, running his fingers through my hair.

* * *

><p>Sometime in my delirium, I must have said something. I don't know what it is that I said, but it must have been big, because since I was sick a few days ago, Sora's been doting on me like crazy.<p>

Not gonna lie, it's kind of annoying.

For example, every half hour, or whenever I sigh from boredom, he's on his toes, asking me if I need anything, if I'm feeling sick, if I want anything. It was cute at first, but now...

"I already have a mom, Sora. You don't have to pretend to be one, too."

"I'm not," he said, frowning as I shot him a look. "I'm just...concerned, is all... is that so wrong?"

"Yes."

Sora sighed, and trudged over to me. "Riku, when you were sick, you said things."

"I was delirious," I said, shrugging. "I don't know what I said, so it probably wasn't important."

Sora frowned. "Riku... you had a dream about me as a squid."

"I had food poisoning. From squid. It happens."

"You said you were afraid of giant squids."

"Have you ever watched tentacle porn? Of _course_ I'm afraid of giant squids."

"Riku," Sora said, frowning. "You said something else."

I let my head fall back against the wall. "Well, I don't remember, so are you going to tell me, or not?"

Sora chewed his lip. "You said...you said you loved me, Riku."

I blinked. "Well...yeah. Of course. You didn't know that?"

"You shouldn't throw that word around, Riku."

"I don't. Notice how I've never said it?"

"...right."

I sighed. "Sora, you're practically my best friend- scratch that, you _are_ my best friend. It's only natural that I'd feel this way."

Sora bit his lip, and shook his head. "Riku...who's Xehanort?"

I flinched.

"...Gee, Sor, I don't know."

Sora narrowed his eyes at me. "Why won't you just tell me?"

I frowned, and held my knees against my chest. "Why won't you just drop it?"

* * *

><p>I'm a private person. I always have been. I've never really been one of those people who talked about their problems with anyone- I was usually always the person who people told things to. So, naturally, when something happened that upset me, I withdrew. I just sort of stopped feeling for a while until I was able to store away whatever had happened to me.<p>

"Riku, what's the story behind Maple?"

I frowned. "Long and intricate."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"It doesn't have a happy ending. Or beginning. Or middle."

"But...it's you, so... I don't really care," Sora said, leaning against me. "I won't... I won't make fun of you for it."

I smiled softly. "I know you won't, Sor. I know you won't."

"So will you tell me?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: That's right. Next chapter is going to be story time. And it's not going to be particularly pretty. Dx Also, I think I just got an o-ring stuck in my ear. fml. :D  
><strong>

The Hungry Writer: Thanks! I'm glad you like it. :3 And you'll find that one out soon, no worries. xD

egyptian1995: Hah, yeah, I'm on a roll with this story. xD YuffiKai is deff my favorite kairi pairing. It's really fun to write Sora and Riku's relationship. :3 I'm glad you like it.

dearlybelovedangel: It'll all make sense in due time. lol. You really should. Yuffikai is adorable. And fluffy.

DrunkOnCookies: lol, yeah, I'm spamming people's (and my own o.0) emails with this story. I'm glad you like it. :D


	11. Tarradiddle

I sighed. Was I really going to do this?

Yes, Yes I was.

"Well... it was about three months after I broke up with Larxene, just before I turned sixteen. I was... a little weird during those days. Cause, well-I guess I have to go through what happened when we broke up, huh?

"Basically, every summer I would go down and help out on my grandparent's farm. So for two out of the six months I was with Larxene, it was long distance. Then I came back, and she... well, she told me that sometimes people who love each other just aren't meant to be together. I was really understanding, and it didn't really hurt or anything.

"And I was cool for a while, I really was. But then I just got _angry_ and shoved everyone away. For the most part, I sat under the maple tree in the backyard and just... watched the clouds. Sometimes I'd take pictures of things, or draw, but mostly... mostly I just kinda laid there.

"My friends were a little worried, 'cause they're all decent human beings. I wouldn't hang out with any of them, and... eventually I got into this really weird mentality that no one cared, that they'd all replaced me. So...I started doing a lot of really stupid things.

"I started to run away at night. My room was on the second story, but the roof outside the window was only about twelve feet off the ground, so I just went out the window. Then I'd walk to the bar down the street.

"I got in, no questions asked. I didn't even order anything to drink. And...that's where..." I glanced at Sora, who was sitting across from me now. "That's where I met them. They got me drunk- took me under their 'wing.' Fucked with my head a lot.

"The sad thing was, for a while there, I actually believed all the lies they were feeding me. And then one day, they took me home with them. I should have...I should have known right away something was wrong- they basically took me to what looked like a meth lab. These people... they weren't good people. They were junkies, and they were squatting in a house nearby my own, because...there's a lot of abandoned homes where I'm from, since the real estate market took that hit-anyways... I was pretty far gone at the time.

"And I passed out on the floor. When I woke up, the people I'd come to the house with were gone. There was just...this guy. And I was hungover, so what normally would have been scary as shit was kind of just... where the fuck am I? What did I do last night?

"I didn't really think much of the guy at first, until he started... undressing me. And that's...that's when I really..." I held my head in my hands, knees to my chest. "That's when I started to realize how bad I'd been fucked over. My so-called new friends had dumped me in some squatter house, essentially _sold_ me for some heroine... and there really wasn't much I could do about it.

"He let me go. He did his damage, and then told me to leave. I limped back home-it was probably about two in the afternoon, so no one would have known I was even gone. I went home, and realized that I was locked out and in no condition to climb through a window. So I limped over to Maple and... just slept.

"My mom's the one who found me. She didn't realize anything was really wrong, so she was just like 'Don't you think you should take her to dinner first?' and I didn't actually answer, so she assumed I was just in one of my moods again- I get really down sometimes, so she didn't really think anything of it.

"After a few weeks of laying under the tree in a daze, school started up. I was forced to pretend I was okay-but everyone could tell something was up. Axel was the first one to notice, but he didn't say anything- we had a sort of agreement that if we wanted help, we'd ask, otherwise we'd leave ourselves to our own devices.-Anyways, it was around this time that I noticed that...well, the guy in the house?

"He went to my school. His name was Xehanort. His locker was three down from mine."

"Riku...are...are you okay?"

I shrugged. "I told you it wasn't a happy story, didn't I?"

"Well...yeah..."

"Do you want me to stop, Sora?"

"...only if you're uncomfortable sharing with me, Riku."

I smiled softly at him. "I wasn't ever comfortable sharing, Sora. But you wanted to know, didn't you?"

Sora nodded slowly.

I took a deep breath. "I saw him every day. He never said anything, never approached me, never even paid attention to me, really. So I tried to ignore him.

"And it worked. It worked really well. But I kept...having nightmares. And...the only place I didn't have nightmares was under the tree. So I would sit under the tree, sleep under the tree-even in winter, when the snow started falling.

"At this point, I'd been turning down every offer for sex from my friends for a good...three months. And they were starting to get concerned, because before that I'd never once turned them down-I mean, I never really had a reason to.

"So I made up a story about how madly in love I was with this girl named Maple. And...eventually they figured out that Maple was my tree. So it became this big joke between me and pretty much everyone. 'Hey, look, it's Riku the pansexual! And of course, Maple, his trusty transsexual tree girlfriend!' And for a while, life was good. I started to get better. Everything was good...until I was left alone to deal with my thoughts.

"And...one night I decided I just couldn't take it anymore, you know?" I said, chuckling. "It was stupid, really. I'm so stupid...I just... I brought all this upon myself, you know?"

"It's not your fault, Riku," Sora said, frowning.

"I took fourty-seven ibuprofen pills."

Sora's eyes widened.

"I puked them all up. They were old...they just made me a little sick. I passed it off as some kind of bug."

"Riku..."

"I thought I was being tortured by some sick fuck up there," I said, shaking my head. "I started shoving everyone away again, but that was normal behaviour in the winter for me. I always got kinda weird in the winter, so... they just let me be.

"And to be honest, I was okay after that. I eventually told Xion about my little stunt with the pills, but never told her why." I sighed. "And we all pretended that it wasn't weird how I suddenly was in love with the tree in the backyard. Life goes on. And that's the story behind Maple."

"Riku...who's Ansem?"

I smiled. "I don't know, Sora. Who is Ansem?"

"I think... I think it was you, wasn't it?"

"You got me, Sora. You got me."

"And... who were they?"

"Honestly? I have no clue. I'm not even sure... if they ever existed."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe... maybe I'm just that much of a lunatic, Sora."

"You're not a lunatic, Ri-ri. You're just... you."

"...thanks. I think."

"They were real, you know."

"How would you know?"

"...I just have a feeling."

"Okay."

* * *

><p>"Do you ever want to find them?"<p>

"...Sometimes. But... I don't think it'd go well if I did."

"I'm...sorry you had to go through all that," he said, and I could hear that he was crying without even looking at him.

"Don't cry, Sora," I said, frowning as I wiped away his tears. "It's not your fault."

"I know...but you're hurting so much inside, Riku, and...I never even knew..."

"I didn't exactly want you to."

Sora wrapped his arms around me. "Whenever you're sad, or mad, or sick, or scared, or even happy, Riku, I want to know. Always."

"Why?"

"Because... I don't want you to have to go through these things alone anymore," he said, looking me in the eyes and smiling. "'Cause you're not alone. You never will be."

I smiled. "Thanks, Sora. For... being there. Even though I didn't really want you to be."

"You're welcome, Riku."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well...that was difficult to write. I have a headache now. Was that confusing to you guys? I thought so. Sorry it's so confusing, but thanks for reading. :3 **

egyptian1995: My phone is supposed to be able to do the whole email thing. I'm too lazy to connect them, though. lol. And yeah...last chapter was kinda short. I didn't wanna break up Riku's story though, and if the chapter was too long I'd have felt bad... new chapters are more exciting when they come separately, y'know?

dearlybelovedangel: don't kill the soriku! D: lol xD Dude, have you ever looked up tentacle porn? Well don't. You'll have nightmares about it for the rest of your life. His fear is totally logical. xD  
>Sometimes I think Riku in this story would have made a really good Axel... but then I'm like NAH. 'cause in my head it's a Riku, not an Axel. I don't know if that made sense. I'm going to shut up now.<p> 


	12. Liaison

School started back up. It was a new semester, so we had all new classes. Naturally, I shared most of them with Kairi. More surprisingly, Sora was in _all_ my classes this term.

"I'm going to be sick of you by the time we graduate."

Sora shot me a mortified look mixed with a pout.

"You and Kairi both. You guys are in all my classes, I swear to god."

"Well, yeah...they're all senior classes."

"Art is _not_ a senior class."

"Well, it's required for graduation..."

"And Yuffie's in that class..."

"Oh my god, you two _chose_ your classes?"

"Well...yeah."

Bastards, the lot of them. Bastards, I tell you.

I must not have gotten the memo, because I didn't choose my classes. My classes chose me, if you will. In other words, the schedulers just stuck me in whatever classes they damned well pleased, just to fuck with me. I mean really, when am I ever going to use Home EC? I mean...I have Sora if I ever need something sewn, and I've known how to cook for _ages_.

Bullshit, I tell you.

And the law classes were the worst.

I was seriously considering smacking a ho.

So, in the middle of class, I reached over and smacked Kairi upside the head. Her head slammed down on the desk and she jumped, looking around.

"I'm awake! I swear!" She shrieked, before realizing that she'd just made a fool of herself and sitting down, hiding her face in her arms.

"Riku, what'd you smack Kairi for?" Tifa asked, raising an eyebrow, but smirking all the same.

"I needed to smack a ho, and she was right there, so I just..." I bit my bottom lip and smacked my hand.

"You're a horrible person, Riku," Kairi muttered from her desk.

"I know," I said, grinning.

* * *

><p>"Ohmygod. Riku. She's <em>right<em> there. Do you see her? She's _so_ hot..."

"Go talk to her, don't tell me."

"No! I'm too scared. Will you go with me?"

"Dear god. No, Kairi, I won't approach your crush with you. Do it yourself."

"Please?"

"No. Go on your own. God."

"I'm too scared."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine then," I said, and waved at the black haired girl across the room. "Hey, Yuff, c'mere!"

"Huh? What'cha need, Riki-dink?"

"Kairi here has something to tell you," I said, smirking.

"Uh, okay?" Yuffie scratched her forehead. "What'd you wanna talk about, Kairi?"

"I, um..." Kairi looked between Yuffie and me. I shrugged and gestured for her to go on. She looked back at Yuffie. "Um...I gotta run..." She said, and bolted out of the room.

I sighed as the gravitational pull between my palm and my face grew too strong and they collided. "Go after her, will you?" I asked Yuffie.

"Uh...sure thing, Riki-dink."

I didn't even want to know why Yuffie started calling me that. I really didn't. I shook my head and looked over at Sora. "She's hopeless."

Sora sighed, and placed his chin on his hand. "It's cute, though, don't you think?"

"Uh...sure?"

"I mean, they so clearly like each other, but Yuffie's too oblivious to notice Kairi likes her back, and Kairi's too much of a spazz to tell her..." Sora said, sighing.

"They're kind of like you two, if you ask me," the other occupant of our table, one of Kairi and Sora's friends named Selphie, said.

I glanced at Sora, and he glanced away. "Not exactly."

Selphie shrugged. "I don't know... I mean, everyone can tell you guys are hopelessly in love with each other, but something's always blocking you two from being together..." She said, looking suddenly dreamy. "It's _so_ romantic..."

Oh god. Can I run away? Please?

"Riku's got a girlfriend, Selphie."

Selphie blinked, suddenly snapping out of it.

I blinked, looking up at the source of the voice, the kid I recognized from my first day-what was his name?

"Hey, Tidus!" Selphie squeaked, smiling up at him.

"Hi, Selph. I came over here to ask you if we were still going to the Valentine's dance?"

"I have a girlfriend?"

"Oh, of course we are, sweetie," Selphie said, giggling as the blond intertwined their fingers.

"You have a girlfriend, Riku?"

"Hey, lovebirds, get a room!" Rikku called out from the other side of the room.

"Shut up, Rikku!"

"Since when did I have a girlfriend?"

"I'll never shut up! C'mon, Paine, let's teach them a lesson! Tickle time!"

"Don't you think you should focus on your work?" Paine asked in her normal bored tone.

"YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?" Sora screamed, shaking me violently. "I THOUGHT WE WERE BEST FRIENDS, RIKU! WHAT THE CRAP?"

"I didn't know!" I said, shaking him back. "I don't even know who she is!"

"Um...can you two...stop, please?" The art teacher asked. She was kind of a meek person, not really an authority figure at all.

"Er, sorry..." Sora and I said in unison, releasing each other. We smiled awkwardly at her, and she smiled wearily back before wandering off to attempt to control Rikku, who was now screaming at some guy who apparently stole her crayon.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Sora, Riku!"<p>

Sora and I were both hit by the flying body of one Yuffie Kisaragi, who threw an arm around our shoulders and just kinda hung off us.

"Hey, Yuff," I said, confused.

"Guess what!"

"Um... you're failing art class."

"Huh? Well...yeah, probably, but that wasn't it."

"Um... Kairi turned into an alien and exploded when she ate meat."

"Er...no, but you're closer...want me to just tell you?"

"Sure."

"Kairi asked me out!" She squealed, jumping off us and spinning around, giggling. "I've had a crush on her for _years_."

"You've only known her for a year, Yuffie."

"Oh, shut up. You and your technicalities... stupid Riku."

I held up my hands in defeat. "Just saying."

"Well, whatever. See you guys later!"

We waved, mildly concerned when she walked straight into a pole and stumbled away. So much for being a ninja...

"Yuffie's weird."

"You could say that again."

"Yuffie's weird," I repeated, because I am, by nature, a smart ass.

And the price for such smart-assedry? Sora's wrath unleashed upon the back of my head.

"So..."

"So..."

"Want to go to the dance?"

"...nah."

"Oh."

"Besides, I'm sure your girlfriend wants to go with you."

"That'd be great if I knew who she was...I honestly have no clue what Tidus was talking about..."

"You seriously don't?"

I shook my head. "Do you know?"

"I have no clue," Sora said, shaking his head. "I guess we'll find out eventually, though, right?"

"Yeah, probably."

I had a feeling that sentence was foreshadowing something big to come. And to be honest, it made me anxious just thinking about it. I glanced at Sora, who glanced at me, and then down at his feet.

"Are you...okay?" I asked, frowning.

"I wish...you'd have told me."

"I wish I'd have known what's going on... I feel like I've missed out on a lot of memos around here."

"Riku..."Sora said, chewing on his bottom lip. "I know we aren't like...dating or anything...but I feel kinda...betrayed."

"To be honest, I feel kind of confused, and would way rather have you than some girl I don't even know."

Sora hugged himself, walking slightly faster.

"Wha-Sora, what's wrong?" I asked, following after him. He broke out into a run.

Fuck me with a ten-foot pole and call me Vexen, I swear to god.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I think I'm allergic to Tylenol. Huh. Anyways, thanks for reading! :D**

dearlybelovedangel: yay xD long live the soriku! XD  
>Yeah...I have no clue where I even pulled that story from. I don't think I really want/ to know. I'm glad you think so :3 And yeah, don't look it up. Ever. It's just...no.  
>If Axel was Riku and Riku was Axel, Axel would hate himself. And by hating himself, he'd be hating Riku. What?<p>

egyptian1995: Yeah...Riku's weird. will pester him to death before he lets Riku be all depressed and crap. xD Thanks! And I hope you keep reading and enjoying this. :)


	13. Beguiler

_Dear Riku,_

_ Please meet me at the football field at lunch._

_ Sincerely._

"What the? They didn't even sign it!" I said, balling up the paper that had been shoved into my locker. I walked to the field anyways, against my better judgment.

And then I sat there and waited for a good ten minutes, in which it started to rain.

Flippin'...

"Riku?"

I whipped around. "Who're you?"

The petite blond girl in front of me swayed slightly and smiled at me. "My name is Namine. Namine Strife."

"Ugh, what is it with you Strifes?" I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Do you need something?"

"I, um, really like you," she said, biting her bottom lip. She looked a lot like Kairi, except blond.

"I, um, don't know you?"

She frowned. "We can fix that."

"Listen, I kind of... don't want to be an ass or anything, but I...don't really want to have anything to do with anyone right now, okay?" I said, and turned to leave. She grabbed my wrist and pulled.

"No. That's not okay, Riku."

I groaned. "It's raining, did you notice that? I don't like being rained on for no fucking reason. So just... let go of me."

"Riku, please, hear me out, okay?"

"No, I don't want to date you, okay? I like someone already!"

She bit her lip. "I... just one date, please? And if it doesn't work out... I won't bother you ever again...I'll even help you get Sora."

I blinked, and narrowed my eyes. How did she know about Sora?

"My brother, Roxas, told me how you two were."

Oh. Right. Strife family drama. Riiiiiiiigghhhhhttttt.

I bit my lip. "Just one date and if I don't like you that way, we're good? You'll leave me alone?"

She nodded. "I promise."

"...alright." A small part of me was screaming, _No, Riku, no! Think of the children! _

Okay, so maybe it wasn't a small part of me, and I might have muttered 'think of what children?' as I stood there in the rain as Namine put her number in my phone and we set up the details for our date.

* * *

><p>"So...I found out who my so-called girlfriend was today," I said, as I dumped my bag onto the floor and fell into the bed, Sora following suit.<p>

"Yeah, and?"

"It's fuckin' Roxas' sister."

"Roxas has a sister?"

"You-you didn't know that?"

"Um, no... oh! Wait! Yeah, I know who you're talking about. Namine, right?"

"Yeah."

"How's that going for you?"

"She's forced me into going on one date with her," I said, letting out a groan. "I really don't want to... but she said if I decide it's not going to work out, she'll leave me alone."

"Couldn't you just have told her no?"

"She wouldn't let me. The Strife siblings are all so pushy," I said, frowning.

Sora climbed onto my chest, taking my hands in his and pressing his forehead against mine. "They seem to have a thing for you," he said, smiling softly. "I can't blame them, though."

"Maybe your family is just genetically inclined to wanting in my pants."

"I guess it's a good thing you'll never have to meet either of my parents, then..."

"Hey, don't get all emo on me now, Sora," I said, frowning. "If you want, we can say Axel's your mommy, too."

Sora giggled. "Why would we do that?"

"Because he has girly hips," I said, grinning. "And we can call Roxas Papa."

"Ugh, I didn't need a reminder that those two...I hate you."

"Uh...sorry... Would you rather we call Kairi Papa?"

"Yes. I would. Thank you, Riku."

"No problem, kiddo."

"Sometimes, I have dreams where Axel has tentacles."

"Get off me," I said, shoving Sora to the side. "I need to puke now. Thanks so much, Sora. I'll never be able to think about my favorite ginger-who-isn't without barfing again."

"You're welcome," Sora said.

"Fuck you," I said once I came back from emptying the contents of my (mostly empty) stomach into the toilet and brushing my teeth three times.

"You can't. You have a girlfriend now, remember?"

"Don't remind me."

"You have a girlfriend who shared the womb with Roxas," Sora said.

"I could punch you right now, Sora."

"If you sleep with her, you'll have slept with two out of three of my cousins."

"Don't tempt me, Sora. I'll make it my mission to fuck every Strife I meet."

Sora pouted.

"I'm including you in that list, don't worry."

"Riku!" Sora squealed, throwing a book at me. "That is not appropriate!"

"Neither is your-" I winced. "face."

"My face is totally appropriate! And you love it!"

"I'd love it more if it was-" Cue punch to the groin, "-fuck, Sora. Was that really necessary?"

* * *

><p>It was the day I never wanted to come; Saturday. The day I was going to be going on my unwanted date with Namine, Roxas' sister. Do not want.<p>

It wasn't even that she was bad looking-she wasn't. It was just... I really didn't want to be going on a date with her. As cliched as it sounds, I really hated any time I wasn't with Sora. It was like torture.

Maybe I _should_ put some distance between us...

"Riku!" Namine called, waving as she walked over to me. "Were you waiting long?"

"...nah," I lied, because I'd been dropped off twenty minutes early (my mom was a little over excited), and didn't feel like bothering to explain all that.

"So, what do you wanna do first? We could get lunch, or we could just go to the art museum now and get lunch later-"

"Which ever's fine," I said, shrugging.

Namine frowned slightly. "Will you at least _try_ to have fun?"

I blinked. "Um...sorry?"

She sighed, and dragged me off to the museum, where she clung to my arm and pointed at everything whilst I pretended to give a fuck.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love art. I just don't like art _museums._ They always smell funny, and the workers are always snobs...

After an hour of that, Namine decided she wanted to go get lunch, so we walked to a Mediterranean restaurant, where I learned that Namine was a vegetarian. Which was nice to know, since I was on occasion one too. When I felt like eating and caring what I ate.

So we ate whatever the heck that was that we ate, (I really wasn't paying attention), and actually started talking. She was actually pretty cool-she wasn't afflicted by stick-up-the-ass syndrome like her brothers, and she was also into anime and on occasion cosplayed. She wanted to be a tattoo artist, which I told her was really cool, and said I'd definitely let her practice on me someday.

I meant it, too.

When it was over, I almost didn't want it to be. And that... was strange. I mean, I liked Sora, didn't I? So what was I doing on a date with his _cousin_? His female cousin who was a year younger than me and looked like a mixture of Kairi and Roxas?

A better question might have been, '_Riku what the fuck are you doing in a bed with this blond girl when you like Sora?' _

God fucking dammit, Riku.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You can all shoot me now. :D**

DrunkOnCookies: awww, I lo-...wait, what?  
>I think we can all relate. That gravitational pull... it's hard to resist.<p>

egyptian1995: Riku never told Tidus about Maple, actually. Mind blown?  
>8D I'm glad my story makes you laugh. And I'm a masochist, so there'll probably be like... 3 chapters when you wake up. lol<p> 


	14. Amore

**A/N: I had written up this chapter. Then Open office decided that it would crash and so my work? Gone forever. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.**

* * *

><p>I ran out of the room. I just...ran. I didn't even bother to grab my shirt. It was just wrong. Not okay.<p>

I ran all the way home. Three miles. I don't think I've ever run that far or fast in my entire life. I ran into the house, shirtless and half crazed, flailing wildly and hyperventilating and into my room, throwing myself at Sora. We fell over with a loud thump onto the ground, and Sora squirmed from underneath me. I curled up into a ball and just laid there, staring blankly and not really seeing anything, because I was beginning to work myself into a panic attack.

"Um..." Sora said, before doing a weird prance thing and running out of the room, pulling my mom into the room with him when he came back.

"Riku, it's okay," she cooed, petting my hair. I flinched, and she stopped. "Just calm down, breathe. It's okay."

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's fine, Sora. It's just a panic attack."

"Ahh! He's not fine!" Sora said, flailing. "Don't worry, Riku, I won't let you die!" He said, flinging himself onto me.

I'm not entirely sure what he meant to accomplish by this, but it somehow did help. I don't even really know how.

My mom shrugged and left the room, closing the door behind her. Sora refused to move from where he was thrown over me, so I had no choice but to calm the fuck down.

"Are you better now?" Sora asked, voice quiet.

"I...yeah... sorry."

"What happened, Riku?"

I frowned. I wasn't sure how he'd take it.

"I...won't get mad at you. Well... I might... but I'll get over it."

"I..." I rolled over onto my back, causing Sora to slide slightly. I laughed. "You're adorable."

"Don't try to distract me, Ri-ri. You promised you'd tell me things."

I sighed. "I did. I regret that promise."

"Riku."

"I... she took me to her room. No one was home."

"Yes, and?"

"We started kissing," I said, feeling Sora still. "We only got as far as taking our shirts off...when she tried to take off my pants I just...ran away..."

Sora snickered.

"Don't laugh at me," I said. "I seriously flipped out and ran three miles in a panic."

"I noticed the panic part," he said. "You couldn't have grabbed your shirt, though, first?"

"I was kind of more concerned with running away."

Sora sighed. "Is it bad that I much prefer this outcome than the alternative?"

"...honestly, I don't think it is."

"That's good... I didn't really want you to be with her at all," he said, giggling. "I was so happy when you came running in here, but then I realized that you weren't just happy to see me..."

"I'm...sorry about that, really."

"Don't be... I don't think you can control that kind of thing, Riku."

"Er, no... not really."

"I'm glad you didn't sleep with her."

"...me too."

"You're still sleeping on the couch tonight, though."

"...yeah, I know."

"That's good."

* * *

><p>"Riku!"<p>

I flinched, and turned around. "Uh, hi, Namine...listen, about the other day..."

"I understand. You... don't like me that way. That's fine," she said, smiling softly. "If it's alright, though, I would like to be friends, though."

"I... okay. We can be friends."

She grinned. "Thank you, Riku."

I blinked as she walked away. I had a strange feeling that I wouldn't actually see her again. "Wait, Namine!"

"Yes, Riku?"

"You... You'll find someone else. And they'll love you in ways I never would be able to."

"...I-thanks."

* * *

><p>It was Monday, February 13th. And I was on a mission.<p>

And what was that mission, you ask?

Well...that's where it gets a little weird.

You see, the school had a Valentine's dance held tomorrow night. When I tried to ask Sora to it a week ago, he'd rejected me because of Tidus' stating that I had a girlfriend-which had been a misunderstanding, as Namine had told Selphie of her fondness of me, and Selphie, in turn, told Tidus, because Selphie told Tidus everything, and Tidus, being the typical guy that he was, didn't really listen and thought that she'd said I was dating Namine.

And now, because of my little stunt with Namine over the weekend, I'd been sleeping on the couch and dancing on thin ice since. So...after careful consideration, and the guidance of Xion, Roxas, Kairi, Axel, Larxene, and Selphie, I'd resolved that the only way to get back into Sora's favor was to play the part of the hopeless romantic, and woo him in ways that no man had ever wooed him before.

Because, obviously, I was the only one who'd sought after him so desperately-unless Kairi had something to tell me.

…

I certainly hoped she didn't.

Anyways, inner monologues aside... I was currently spending my allowance on the most disgusting substances I'd ever met; chocolates and candy hearts. I also managed to locate a stuffed... squid.

…

I hate myself sometimes, I really do.

* * *

><p>"Sora?"<p>

"Yes, Riku?" Sora said, voice tight.

"I, uh..." I fidgeted under his gaze. An angry Sora was a scary Sora. "Happy Valentine's Day," I said, pulling the blue-ish green stuffed squid from behind my back and dumping the candy on the table in front of him.

Sora stared at the squid, then glanced back at me. "Um...?"

"Please go to the dance with me?"

"Um... Riku... I don't really _want_ to go to the dance..."

"Oh."

"But I mean, if you really want to, we can go-"

"No, that's...fine. Um... would you like to do something else?"

"I...no, not really."

"Oh."

"I don't..." Sora bit his lip. "I'm not saying this because I'm mad at you still, Riku... I just...don't really want to do anything today."

"Oh...alright."

"I appreciate the sentiment, really, but... I don't like Valentine's Day."

I blinked. Sora didn't like a holiday? Mind. Blown. I sat down in the chair across from him, running a hand through my hair. I chuckled. "Well, I feel stupid now."

"...Riku...don't."

"No, I mean... I got so worked up and in the end... you didn't even care. You don't even _like_ Valentine's. I'm so stupid. I should have... I should have known that."

"No, Riku... you wouldn't have. It's... Riku, stop."

"I'm stopping. Okay. I'm stopping. Riku-bot 2000 rebooting," I said, slamming my head against the table a few times and taking a deep breath before opening my eyes and looking at him. "Hi."

"Um... hi," Sora said, looking a bit scared. "Are you...okay?"

"Peachy. Let's skip school, shall we?"

"Um... alright..."

To be completely honest, I hadn't actually slept in three days. I couldn't. I was so accustomed to sleeping with Sora's limps flung over me that to sleep normally was basically impossible.

"I miss you," I said, shaking my head at the table.

"I...you could have come back to bed on Sunday."

"Oh."

"I haven't slept in days."

"Me either."

"I'm really tired."

"Let's go sleep."

"Sounds...like a plan."

"Cool," I said, picking him up and tossing him over my shoulder, groaning as we crashed onto my bed.

Sora giggled, the kind of giggle that comes from not sleeping well in a long time, that's similar to being high. I laughed too, nuzzling his neck. "Riku, quittt! That tickles," he said, pouting into my hair.

"mnnn, too bad," I said, catching a bit of his skin between my teeth, eliciting a small moan from him.

"Ri-Riku, stop it!" Sora said, squirming.

I released his skin, moving up to his face and planting kisses all over. Sora giggled and shoved my face away with his hand. "nnn, Soraaaaaaaaa," I groaned. "Why don't we make love?"

"Riku, you're making me blush," Sora said, covering his face and shaking his head.

"You're so cute when you do that," I said, taking his hands away from his face and kissing his fingertips.

"Ri-ri, quit ittttttttttt," Sora said, face completely red.

"Why don't you love me, Sora?" I said, pouting.

"I do, Riku, but you're being silly," Sora said, smiling. "You keep missing my mouth."

"I want to kiss _all_ of you, Sora," I said, catching his lips with mine. "Not just your mouth."

Sora giggled, moving his face as I started showering it with kisses again. "Go to sleep, Ri-ri. You're being silly."

"I missed you, So-so."

"Go to sleeeeeeep."

"You should be my husband. We should get married. We should be husbands and adopt a bunch of kittens and raise them as our own."

"Riku, you're not making sense anymore," Sora giggled.

"No, I'm serious. I wanna marry you," I said, grinning.

"Riku, go to sleep."

"Okay..."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I got distracted by Harry Potter. Dang it.**

dearlybelovedangel: I'm trying to crush it. Because I'm a jerk that way. xD

egyptian1995: And then I took forever with this chapter. XD Yeah...Namine's kind of...I have mixed feelings towards her in general. I mean, I like her better than Kairi, but I kind of hate her too. It's weird. xD


	15. Euphoria

**A/N:This chapter really should have been split in two, but...nah.**

* * *

><p>Hello, my name is Riku Montgomery. I'm seventeen, going on eighteen, a senior in high school, and for six months out of the year, I'm a complete and utter mess of raw nerves and sunshine.<p>

There are times in my life, like any other's, where I suffer from extreme insomnia. This is generally coupled with anxiety, and a major rise in acid reflux. It also takes up a large portion of my life and occurs completely out of no where for weeks at a time. This phase in my life is generally followed by a low point in which I get angry, troll everyone and everything in sight, sleep too much, and try to kill myself.

…Yep.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Sora wake up, wake up, wake upppppppp," I groaned, flailing. I'd been up the _entire_ night, though for three hours of it I'd been humoring him and trying to sleep. It was now probably four in the morning-I never fancied clocks much,-and I was met with a groggy groan that if I didn't know better, I would have thought to have belonged to the Lock Ness Monster.

"Riku, it's like three in the morning," Sora grumbled. "Why the heck are you trying to wake me up?"

"Because I can't take it anymore, Sora! We need to get out and do something-we need to explore the world and...and... do _something_!"

Sora groaned. "What the hell is your _problem_, Riku?"

"Absolutely nothing, Sora, darling," I said, spinning around and landing into my computer chair.

"What the hell are you on?"

"One hundred and fifty percent pure Adrenaline, good sir."

"Oh my god. Will you shut the fuck up and let me sleep? Go...play pokemon or something. Get on the internet and... do whatever it is you do on the-"

"...Sora?"

Nothing.

I sighed, and opted for climbing out the window and running laps in the yard, because I was about to go crazy if I stayed still any longer. It was generally in these periods of time that I had gained most of my muscle, as for the vast majority of my life I simply slept...

After running in circles until the sun came up, I climbed back in through the window, scaring the living daylights out of poor Sora. I guess he didn't realize that I had planned on coming in through my favorite hole in the wall at five in the morning on Tue-Monday.

"What's wrong with you? Geez..." Sora said, holding his chest.

"I went for a run."

"For two _hours,_ Riku?"

"Uh...yeah..."

"Jesus christ."

I think I'm a bad influence on Sora's vocabulary. Or maybe I'm just a bad influence on him in general...

...Nah.

"Soraaaaaa."

"What?"

"Hurry upppppp."

"Shouldn't you go take a shower or something?"

I blinked. "You wanna come with me?"

Sora glared at me. Which, in case you were wondering, is about as scary as kittens in flower patches. It's not very scary...unless, of course, you're deathly afraid of kittens in flower patches. Then you're just really fucked up though... "Riku!"

"Huh? What?"

"Go take a shower, before you make us late to school," he said, hands on his hips.

I sighed. "Fine, don't be environmentally considerate," I said, sticking my tongue at him as I left the room.

* * *

><p>"I don't know what's wrong with him, Kai, so don't even ask me," Sora said, when Kairi tried to give him a questioning look she thought I didn't catch. "He's been like this since Friday..."<p>

"I don't know what you guys are talking about, I love this new Riku," Yuffie said, rubbing her face affectionately(?) against mine.

She could also have been a very confused Alien who didn't know what she was doing-I'd never know.

"Yeah, he's not keeping you up all night," Sora said, groaning as his head hit the desk.

I snickered, earning a shove from the brunette.

"Not like that..."

"It _could_ be like that. They'd never know," I said, preparing myself for another random act of violence.

Sora scowled. "Not if you keep this up, bucko."

I rolled my eyes. "Even if I wasn't in a state of flipping out, you still wouldn't."

"Who said I wouldn't?"

"Uh...you."

Sora stuck his tongue out at me, before burying his head into his arms, now prepared for art class.

* * *

><p>Someone knocked on our door about half an hour after we'd gotten home. I raced (and beat) Sora to the door, throwing it open.<p>

"Um... Cloud?"

"Sora lives with you now, right?"

"Yeah..."

"I brought his report card."

"Oh...thanks."

Cloud nodded and left.

He wasn't very friendly...I don't know what Tifa saw in him. He was even more of a downer than Roxas when he first moved to town.

I shrugged, closing the door and handing the report card to Sora.

Sora tore it open. "Look, Riku, I'm passing!" He said, waiving the tan paper in my face.

"That's great, Sora!"

"What'd you get?"

I shrugged, and went into the kitchen to where mine sat, unopened. Yeah...we cared about grades in this family... totally. I tore open the envelope as civilized as possible (meaning I tore it to pieces, because I got mad) and withdrew the tan gradesheet.

"Egh, three A's and B's," I said, shrugging. "The usual."

"Whhaaatttttt? Riku! You didn't tell me you were smart!"

I blinked. "Uh..."

"I've never even gotten an A in an actual class," he said, pouting. "The only time I do are in the kind where you just have to show up..."

"I'm...sorry?"

"It's not fair! You don't even do anything in class!"

"Well...no... it's easy."

Sora gaped at me. "I hate you! You big jerkface!" He said, throwing the papers in his hands at me and running away to the room we'd been sharing for almost five months now.

I sighed and stuck our report cards to the fridge with a magnet before following him. "Hey, now," I said, rubbing circles on his back. "Grades don't really mean anything."

"But I try so hard to get good grades and you don't!"

"You know, they say that means you'll do better in college..."

"I'm not going to college."

I frowned. "What happened to being a psychologist?"

"How am I supposed to get money for school?"

"Have you looked into it?"

Sora shook his head. "What's the point? I don't think I have a high enough GPA anyways..."

I frowned. "You shouldn't just give up on your dreams, Sora."

Sora sighed. "I don't even know if that's what I want to do anymore..." he said, flipping over onto his back. "What are you gonna do?"

"Oh...you know. Stuff."

"What _kind_ of stuff?"

"I guess I'll wind up being a starving artist," I said, grinning. "And I'll really be starving, since I can't even draw still-lives."

Sora rolled his eyes. "Riku, seriously."

I shrugged. "I dunno. I don't really have anything in mind."

Sora scowled. "You'd look weird bald. Don't join the military."

I blinked. "Uh, I wasn't planning on it," I said, raising an eyebrow. "I don't think I even _can_."

"Why's that?"

"My brother served, remember? I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to anymore."

"Oh."

"Yeah...so no worries. Besides that... I don't like being told what to do."

Sora grinned. "You're not a bad artist, though."

"I can't draw still-lives."

"But you can draw _other_ things. And your comic is really good, too."

"Eh..."

"I don't know. I think you'd be able to be a manga-ka."

I chuckled. "Yeah, if I wanna live in a box and live off stolen ramen, sure."

Sora frowned. "Well, what do you _want_ to do?"

I smirked.

"For a career."

"I want to sell my body on the street corner."

"Riku, I'm serious."

I sighed. "Why so serious?"

"Riku..."

"I don't know, Sora. Why does it even matter?"

"Because we graduate in like..." he started counting on his fingers, "four months!"

"Hey, Sora, why don't you like Valentines Day?" I asked, remembering how he'd said it a couple weeks back.

"Oh... because it always reminds me of how alone I am... and so it must make everyone else feel pretty alone, too."

"You're not alone, Sora," I said, frowning. "You've got me, and Kairi, and Yuffie..."

Sora grinned. "I know. That's not what I mean, though... I mean, romantically. It just makes me realize how alone I am compared to everyone else..."

"You have me."

"But...we're just friends, Riku."

Um...ouch. Not gonna lie, that kinda hurt. I tried to disguise the wince. "Right..."

"Um...I didn't mean to...that came out wrong..."

"No, you're right. I was...being silly. Silly Riku, thinking he was something more than just a friend, hahahaha," I said, glad for once when my bangs fell into my face, devouring it so Sora couldn't see the way my face contorted.

Laughing is the brain's way of saying to the body, 'Hey guys, it's okay. We don't have to freak out... we got this.'

And that's why I decided now was the perfect time to change the subject.

"RAAHHHHHHH I'M A HAIR MONSTER!" I yelled, tackling Sora down to the bed and pretending to chew on his head.

"Ahhh! Ahhhh! I'm going to die! He's going to eat my hair! Ahhhh!" Sora shrieked, voice higher than I suspected was normal for a seventeen year old boy.

We both bust out laughing-me because his voice was hysterical, and him because I was laughing. I rolled away from him and fell on the floor, which just made us laugh harder, until we were both curled up in fetal position because it hurt so much, but every time we stopped laughing, one of us would burst out into a whole new fit of laughter.

* * *

><p>"So, Riku, why aren't you and Sora dating? I mean, you're obviously madly in love with each other."<p>

I glanced up from my drawing to eye Selphie wearily before shrugging and returning to my current task-shading that goddamned apple like no goddamned apple has ever been shaded before.

"Have you even asked him out?"

"Sort of."

"And?"

"He rejected me."

"Why?"

"He didn't feel like it."

"And you haven't tried since?"

"Well...no," I chewed my lip, and erased some of the shading on the apple. "I haven't really had a reason to."

"But you like him, right?"

"Well, duh."

"So what's the problem?"

I glanced at her momentarily before setting back in on the stupid apple. It _would_ be perfect. "He's my best friend."

"So?"

"He doesn't want things to be awkward... so we're not in a relationship."

"I don't get it."

"Then ask him about it, not me," I said, erasing and re-shading the god-forsaken damn fruit that was set on this earth to make my life a living hell.

"Okay, geez, no need to get all offended about it," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'll just go talk to Sora, then."

With that, she walked over to where Sora was sitting on the counter drawing the apple from a bird's eye view. Yeah, we were that awesome (in reality, our teacher was a pushover and just let us do whatever we asked).

From what I could hear, (and watch) their conversation went like this:

_"Selphie, move! You're messing up my light," Sora said, puffing his cheeks out at her._

_ "Oh, sor-ry," she said, rolling her eyes as she moved. "So we need to have a chat."_

_ "About what?"_

_ "You and Riku."_

_ "Tentacles?" _I think I may have misheard...

_"No, Sora," Selphie said, rolling her eyes. "We can talk here."_

_ "But he can hear us..."_

_ Selphie was quiet for a second. "I don't think he can. He's pretty focused on that apple," she said, and yawned. "Anyways, why aren't you two together?"_

_ "I don't think he wants to," Sora said, shrugging. "He doesn't bring it up much."_

_ "He thinks _you_ don't want to be with him, you know."_

_ "Why does he think that?"_

_ "Because you said it'd be awkward."_

_ "Well...yeah, I mean, if it doesn't work out..." Sora said, sighing. "I mean, what if we break up and he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore? Where would I go? I don't know what I'd do without him."_

_ "You love him, don't you?"_

_ "Well...yeah, he's my best friend."_

_ "He'd still be your best friend."_

_ "Can we please talk about this at the tennis court?" _

_ "No, Sora. We're talking here."_

_ "Fine..." Sora said. "But I'm pretty sure he can hear us."_

_ "Nah... I mean, he could barely hear me when I was sitting across the table from him."_

_ "Really?"_

_ "Yeah... his hearing isn't that great."_

_ "Well, he has really bad eyesight, so I always assumed..."_

_ "Nah, that's only true for some people. I think he's going to be the next Helen Keller when he's old."_

_ "That's mean, Selphie."_

_ "I'm just-nevermind," she said, rolling her eyes. "You two need to get together already. All this sexual tension in the air is getting annoying."_

_ "Wha? There's no-"_

_ "Don't argue with me," Selphie said. "You know you won't win."_

And then Selphie walked over to Tidus' table, peering over his head and laughing, much to the blond's chagrin.

* * *

><p>"Ri-ri," Sora called. "Where's the toaster?"<p>

"Uh... it's not under the sink?"

Sora shook his head from where he stood in my doorway. "I checked, but it wasn't there. I looked in all the other cupboards, too."

"Weird..." I said, frowning. "Maybe you just overlooked it?" I asked, jumping off my bed and heading to the kitchen with him.

Sora closed the kitchen door behind us-I didn't really pay attention to it, until he locked the door.

"Why'd you lock the door, weirdo?"

"Oh... did I? Silly me..." Sora said, waltzing over to me and placing an arm around my neck.

"Uh...what's going on?"

"Riku, I've been thinking a lot lately, and..."

...

"Ahhh! Tentacle monster!" I screamed, jerking back into consciousness, and jumping again when I realized that I was in my first hour Law class, being stared at by the entire class, and scowled at by the teacher.

"Why thank you for your input, _Riku,_" the teacher spat, shaking his head. "But that has nothing to do with the topic at hand."

"Uh...sorry."

Sora snickered, earning a glare from our teacher.

* * *

><p>"So, have a nice nap?"<p>

"No, it was horrible..." I groaned, leaning my head on his shoulder. "We never even found the toaster..."

"What?"

"You turned into a tentacle monster before we found the toaster."

"I don't want to know," Sora said, shaking his head.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well hello there. I went to school today. :D Thanks for reading~**

dearlybelovedangel: hah, yeah...silly Riku, you're supposed to be with Sora. D: I'm glad you liked it. :3

egyptian1995: lol. I wanted to put him in the doghouse, but I never gave him any pets. xD

Whimsical Dreamer: 8D I'm glad you like it!


	16. Absquatulate

There comes a time in every man's life when he is faced with the almighty decision that could forever fracture his ability to become a proper citizen.

This decision is one of the most important and character-molding decision he will ever make: whether or not to allow the (sometimes less than) adorable feral kitten or puppy into his home.

It was something that we saw on TV quite often growing up, in which a child comes home from playing, his or her grubby, grime-covered fingers mishandling some poor animal. It was something that we'd always laughed about and said would never happen.

Well, sometimes life isn't so predictable.

It was quite a late experience for my father, as it took me nearly eighteen years to finally bring home a stray-he would soon be expecting me to be bringing home lovers whom I had formed a long-lasting bond with, and perhaps even children who I had fathered-but it did not make the decision any easier for him to make.

As I stood there in the kitchen in front of him on that late April afternoon, sopping wet and covered in mud, I was also anticipating the result of his long stretch of silence. The kitten in my hands was equally sopping wet and mud-covered, it's fur an indiscernible colour, matted to it's scrawny malnourished body. The fate of this poor being rested solely in our hands; should he deny it entry into our home, our family, it would most likely die, cold, hungry, and alone. But, should he chose to accept this being, this symbol of a childhood I never took part in until now, into our family, he would be giving it the window of opportunity called life, the very thing we all struggle through and take for granted.

Currently, the one who was essentially this kitten's god, and my very own father, was staring at me with a look of indecision on his face which very faintly resembled mine, his thoughts fluttering by in his eyes, which had always been as easy to read as an audio-book,-simple to tell what's been there, but rarely paid attention to unless you absolutely need to,-and looking like he, for all the world, wanted to say yes, but something was so clearly holding him back.

Using my natural youngest-child charm to the best of my ability, I uttered the cliched phrase that had gotten me everything I've ever wanted in life; "please, daddy?"

I saw his resolve break with those two little words, those three syllables, like a dam that couldn't take the pressure any longer and broke, letting loose the torrents of water and drowning hundreds of innocent townsfolk-

"Did you ask your mom?" He asked, meekly, and I knew that I had won; because I knew at that moment that it didn't matter whether my mother agreed to allow the little feline into her home; he had fallen for the charm of his youngest child and the unfortunate kitten within my capable hands.

"Ask me what?" My mother asked, walking into the kitchen wearily.

I turned around, smiling softly down at the kitten who sucked on my fingers, and up at her.

"As long as you clean up it's shit, puke, piss, and whatever else sort of mess it makes, I don't care. Just please, get it out of my kitchen and into the bathtub."

And I smiled, then, because I was victorious. I had harnessed my natural talents in ways no other person could to sway my parents, to make their resolves crumble under my manipulative and irresistible charm.

* * *

><p>The kitten was a small grey tabby, with green-yellow eyes. Her hair was short, but thick and oily; as if she was meant to repel water. I conjured up a past life for her in which she was an otter, swimming swiftly down the rivers of my homeland, playing otter games with the other otters.<p>

It was then that I decided on an appropriate name for the little devil who had made quick-work of my heart and instantly invoked my paternal instincts to care for small, weak, things and make them stronger and fearless- River Otter.

Or, as Sora would soon rename her, Otty.

* * *

><p>"Riku?"<p>

"I'm in here," I called, looking at the closed door. "You can come in."

"I-I thought you said I could-Riku!"

I glanced down. "What? I'm wearing pants," I said, looking back up at him. "You've seen me shirtless a thousand times."

"I-I didn't know you were going to take a bath!" Sora said, covering his face as he shook his head.

I raised an eyebrow. "I'm not."

"Then-then what are you doing?"

I grinned. "C'mere," I said, beckoning him with a jerk of my head. He cautiously walked over and peered into the bathtub. "Meet River Otter, my baby girl."

"Ah! Riku! You didn't tell me you were getting a kitten!"

I smiled. "I wasn't planning on it...but when I found her, those stupid kids had already killed her mother, and she was all alone..."

"Oh...poor Otty," Sora said, bottom lip jutting out as tears welled up in his eyes. "I hope those kids all get hit by cars," he said, uttering the most foul thing Sora could ever have uttered.

"The important thing is that she's safe," I said, smiling as she sucked on my pinkie, not paying much attention to the warm water I poured over her back carefully, cleansing her of the soap. "And that they didn't harm this new life."

"That's the most sincere thing you've ever said," Sora said, giggling.

"Don't ruin the mood, Sora."

"I think I already did... Sorry Ri-ri," he said, leaning his head on top of mine, a feat that very rarely occurred-only in instances like this, in which I was on my knees and he was standing behind me, bent over to look at what I was doing-and letting out a small giggle. "She's so cute."

"Yeah, she is. Way cuter than you."

"Nothing's cuter than me."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "You keep telling yourself that, Sora, and your head's going to pop."

Sora puffed out his cheeks and stormed out. I sighed, shaking my head at Otter as I pulled her out of the bathtub, and patting her gently with a towel until her fur was dried, and then wrapping her in a fresh one.

Sora was pouting in the corner of my bed, refusing to glance up at me when I entered through the door and closed it behind me. "Sora..." I said, frowning as I walked over. He turned his head away. "What's wrong? Are you..._jealous?_"

Sora stilled, glancing at me. "Why would I be jealous of some orphaned furball?"

Bingo. "I have no idea, Sora. Are you mad because now you'll have competition for my attention?"

Sora puffed out his cheeks. "No."

"You're adorable, Sora."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Shut up, Riku," Sora said, still sitting with his arms crossed, head turned to the side.

I smirked. "You can be her other daddy," I said, sitting down on the bed, invading his personal bubble (not that he had one) and leaning my head on top of his. "We can watch her grow up together-it'll go by so fast; one moment she'll be going to her first day of kindergarten, and the next, she'll be graduating from college and getting married,-and we'll be there the whole time, as her loving, supportive, and completely in love parents."

"And then she'll get knocked up, have a litter, and in approximately twelve years, die."

"Some cats live to almost forty, you know."

"I will put her out of her misery before then, Riku."

"Sora!"

"What? I was kidding!"

"You don't joke about killing my child!"

"It's a cat, Riku! It's not really your child!"

I gasped, horrified that he would even suggest such malarkey. "How dare you? Otter is too my child!"

"Riku! I was joking!"

"No. Don't try to pull that. You've said too much already, Sora, and I won't have such a horrible influence hanging around my daughter!"

"Come on, Riku! I wasn't serious! I would never hurt a hair on her precious little kitten body!"

I eyed him wearily. "Promise?"

Sora nodded vigorously. "Promise on everything I hold dear in this world," he said. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear."

You couldn't get more serious than that. Not even sealing it with blood was as strong of a bond as that which was made with our pinkies that day.

"Now, about that whole life together thing..."

"No, Riku, we're not eloping tonight."

"Dammit!"

* * *

><p>It dawned on me later on that week that Sora's exact words were "No, Riku, we're not eloping <em>tonight<em>."

"And that insinuates that you totally would elope with me another day," I said, after a quick refreshing of his mind.

"Riku, we're not even dating."

"I don't think we have to be dating to elope. Technically I don't think we even have to know each other past our names..."

"Riku."

"Well, if I took you out on dates, would you consider it?"

"Riku, we're not even _old enough_ to elope."

"Well I know that," I said, rolling my eyes. "I never said when we'd elope. I never even said you had to."

"Then drop it! I didn't mean anything when I said it, okay?"

"Soraaaaaaaaa."

"No, Riku. We're not talking about this ever again. You're a horrible person who uses kitten-derived cuteness to sway your opponents."

"Mmm, only you, and only in bed..."

"Riku..." Sora sighed. "If I agree to let you take me on dates, will you drop it?"

I chewed my lip. "Do I get to claim you as mine forever and ever?"

Sora rolled his eyes. "Sure, as long as you don't bring up marriage for another three years."

"Alright."

"Okay."

"So..."

"Yeah?"

"Do we get to be facebook official?"

"Oh my god. Riku. You don't even _have_ a facebook."

"Oh yeahhhhhhhhhh." I had deleted it a while ago, in a fit of rage, because Axel kept posting pictures of squids on my wall, with Larxene sending me pictures over the messaging system.

"I don't understand why people think I'm the stupid one..."

"Because you're the cute naive one, duh."

Sora sighed, shaking his head. "Go play with your daughter, Riku."

"She's sleeping," I deadpanned. Within a second, I was smirking, and crawling over him. "Besides... I'd rather play with you."

Sora blushed, and shoved me away with a hand in my face. "Go...go make a facebook, you perv!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: lolwut? 8D**

egyptian1995: Yeah he does XD I looked up what tentacles meant in a dream dictionary after I wrote it...turns out it means either you're anticipating trouble or need to deal with suppressed issues. Oddly fitting. o.0

dearlybelovedangel: I don't think he did, lol. I think he knew he didn't have a chance until all that was out of their lives for a while.


	17. Otiose

Before even bothering to set up my account, I hacked Sora's. Why?

So I could do this:

"**Sora Reynolds-Strife**

just promised myself to Riku. Nbd."

...Yeah, I'm awesome.

After that, I quickly and efficiently made my own account, added Sora, Kairi, Yuffie, Roxas, Xion, Selphie, and Tidus, and then filled out the stupid info page with random bullcrap, and after about five minutes of fiddling with the account settings, sent Sora a relationship request.

After that, I logged out, and hacked into Sora's account again, accepted it, and logged back into my account.

Shooting a glance at the brunette who was sprawled out on the bed, I minimized the screen and pounced on him. "Hey. I made a facebook."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"That's great."

"Now we can play, right?"

"Um...no?"

I frowned. "Why nooottttt?"

"Because, Riku, just because I said I'd date you doesn't imply that the first thing we're going to do is have sex."

I doubled back. "What are _you_ talking about, Sora? I wanted to play basketball with you, not screw you," I said, scrunching up my nose. "And you call me the perv, god."

Sora scowled. "Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"Say things all suggestively and then pass it off as completely innocent."

I smirked. "Sora, honey, you should know by now- I'm the world's biggest troll, remember?"

Sora rolled his eyes. "I don't know how I forgot that..."

A weird ping noise made us both jump. Cursing, I shook my fist at the laptop sitting at my desk.

"Oh, look, Riku! Something you can do without teasing me!"

"Sora... why don't you want to play basketball with me?"

"Riku, have you looked outside? It's raining."

I glanced outside. "That's no excuse."

"Riku... go talk to people on your facebook."

I sighed and obeyed.

I brought up the facebook screen, wincing at the kajillion notifications and messages now plaguing me.

First things first, chat:

_**Kairi**_

_Oh my god, u 2 finally got 2gether and u didn't call me?_

_**Riku**_

_ Hah, yeah, we did, but it just happened. I figured I'd save my hearing._

_**Kairi **_

_What's that supposed 2 mean?_

_**Riku**_

_Nothing. Don't worry about it. These are not the drones you are looking for._

_**Kairi**_

_Whatever, dweeb._

I shut the chat box and, fearing for my very life, opened my notifications box. It actually wasn't that bad, now... I clicked on the comment notification.

Three from Kairi, as follows:

**Omg**

** what?**

** And you didn't tell me?**

Then two from Selphie and Roxas, respectively:

**Bout time.**

** Congrats, you lesbian. -Larxene.**

...Okay, maybe it wasn't Roxas. I didn't want to know.

Bored with the site already, I closed my laptop and stared at Sora.

"What do you want, Riku?" He asked after a solid minute of me staring at him.

"We should do something. I'm bored."

"I'm tired."

"You've been sleeping all day," I said, walking over to the bed.

"It's this weather," he said, rolling over so I didn't crawl over him. "It always makes me sleepy."

"Fair enough, I guess..." I said, sighing and plopping down next to him. "But you have homework due tomorrow."

"I don't wanna."

"Sora..."

"Do it for me."

"I don't think I can mimic your handwriting."

"Not my fault you write like a chicken."

"Not my fault you write like a preppy middle school girl."

"I do not!"

"You so do," I said, grinning. "It's a wonder anyone ever thought you were straight."

"Jerkface."

I pinched his cheeks. "Cutiepie."

"Riku, quit it!"

"Make me!"

Sora slapped at my hands, but I was relentless, and begun launching my attack on his stomach. "Riku, quit! That tickles," he said, giggling.

I grinned. "You're not doing a very good job at making me stop, Sor."

"Quittttttttt," he said, squirming. He grabbed my hands and twined our fingers together, forcing me to stop. "Geez, you jerk."

"You like it."

"Jerk."

I grinned, and planted a kiss on his nose.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: have you guys noticed that you can usually tell what the chapter is about by the title? lol. So if you feel like this is a filler-you're right. :D**

dearlybelovedangel: heh, one of my cats used to like baths, when she was a kitten. Now she's old and fat and cranky. xD lol, Sora won't let them.

egyptian1995: Well if you think about it, he had a squid dream right before all the stuff with Namine happened. So apparently I'm just accidentally putting little bits of foreshadowing in my story without noticing. herpderp.  
>I've used that method to get 2 cats and a dog. xD I blame my grandma for the dog though. She was all "look, she loves you!"<br>I'd be more consistant if it wasn't for school. asdfasdfasdf.

LexymyXIII: I'm glad you like it! :D Thanks :)

Rikuobsession (): I'm glad you like it C: I'm so jelly of your shorter classes. ;v; And, lol, he didn't get the speedo. Unfortunately.(?)  
>Maple is by far my favorite OC I've made. lol<br>I've been known to answer the phone, but not say anything. Or I'll make everything I say rhyme with the last thing they said. I'm obnoxious. xD

**Don't worry, the next chapter will be better than this one...I promise. :)**


	18. Shindig

"Hhunnhhhh, Riku," Sora panted, throwing his head back.

I bit my lip. "Damn, Sora, you're so tight..."

* * *

><p>Okay, I know this sounds bad...<p>

But it's honestly not what it sounds like. Yes, we are in my bed, I am on top of Sora, and his face is shoved in the pillows. But we are not, I repeat, _not_ having sex.

No. Despite our suggestive exchange and for the most part lack of clothing, what we're doing is completely innocent.

I'm just working out some knots in Sora's back, I swear!

You know what? You all are perverts. Can't a half naked guy give another half naked guy a massage without it being sexual? I mean, really. It's not like we're taking showers together or anything. God.

"mmm, get that spot again, Riku," Sora said, totally not helping my case.

It was his shoulder, for crying out loud! "Right here, babe?"

Sora moaned.

"Hey, keep it down. Do you want them to think we're doing the nasty?" I whispered in his ear.

Sora immediately turned red, fisting the blankets. "Sorry..."

"Oh, no worries. I'll just say we were watching porn again."

"Ahhh-what?" Sora's eyes widened.

I rolled my eyes and jumped off him. "Alright, you're done," I said, walking over to my dresser.

"Ugh... I don't think that I can move..." Sora said, humming in content. "Your hands are like god, Ri-ri."

"If you think they're good now-"

"I'm already a puddle of goo," he said, still sounding like he'd actually had an orgasm. "I don't know if I could handle that."

"Well...wanna find out?"

"And be in pain and limping the entire flight? No thanks," Sora said, puffing out his cheeks.

Today marked the first day of our week-long spring break, and because we were too cool to go to Florida with the rest of our class (read: too disorganized), Sora and I were flying back home to stay with Roxas, who's parents had welcomed us with open arms.

"_Oh, you mean that charming young man with the long white hair you used to bring over? He's such a gentleman, you could learn a thing or two from him, Roxas." _

Yeah, I'm awesome.

And since no one else in the household wanted to go/ had the time off to, Sora and I were going alone. Neither of us had ever actually been on a plane before (My family always drove, and Sora's never went on vacations that elicited such a thing), so we were sure that it'd end quite well.

And by quite well, I mean quite horribly.

* * *

><p>Surprisingly, Sora and I managed to get onto the (correct) plane without much of a problem. The entire trip went eerily well, so I was starting to get a bit anxious and jumpy when we got off and retrieved our luggage before catching the bus to Roxas' home.<p>

Which is probably why when some guy I vaguely recalled from my time here jumped out at me, yelling surprise, I punched him in the face. Amygdala hijack, I swear.

"Er, sorry, I guess you scared me..." I said, wincing at the split lip I'd just given him.

The boy wiped his mouth on his hand, grimacing at the blood. "Uh, no problem, I guess...happens." He shrugged.

It was at this time that the redhead who'd popped out of the closet (how predictable) busted out laughing, unable to control it anymore. "Oh my god, Riku, I can't believe you actually _punched_ the guy," he said, smacking his knee.

"Uh, well, I guess that's two of our friends we can't throw surprise parties for," Roxas said, coming out from behind Axel. "Hay, you alright? That's like the second blow to the face you've taken this week."

"Yeah, no problem, man. I just like surprise parties-well, now that that's over, see ya, Rox!" The dirty blond said, as he slipped out the door.

I blinked. "So what's with the surprise party? Did you guys really miss me that much?"

"No, you fucktard," Larxene said, from where she was sitting in plain sight. "Your birthday was last week. We couldn't exactly fulfill our life-long promise to corrupt you with strippers last week, so we decided that to make up for the lateness, we'd throw you a party." She waved her hand at Roxas and Axel, rolling her eyes. "Those dipshits didn't listen to me when I told them it wouldn't work out well."

Axel and Roxas rubbed the back of their necks awkwardly.

"Hey, where's Xion?"

Larxene jerked a thumb towards the kitchen. "Where she belongs."

"Why does Xion belong in the kitchen?" Sora asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"Because that's where women belong, Sora. Duh."

"Then shouldn't she be in there too?" Sora asked, gesturing at Larxene.

I rolled my eyes. "That's clearly a man, Sora. You need to get your eyes checked. I mean, just look at those pecs."

Sora puffed his cheeks out at me. "You're the one who can hardly see," he said.

"I'm not the one who can't tell the difference between a man and a woman when the subject is so obviously male."

"I'm right here, you know," Larxene snapped, chucking her nail file at us.

Xion waltzed out then, bearing cake. Behind her, to Sora and I's surprise, was one Namine Strife.

"N-namine? What are you doing here?" Sora stammered, eyes going wide.

"Oh, didn't I tell you? I left on Friday so I could spend the week with my mother, rather than my...father and aunt."

I raised an eyebrow.

"It's not as bad as it sounds, really," Roxas said, shaking his head. "My dad married my mom, and then left her for his sister, because she wasn't into polygamy. He kept Cloud and Namine, while I went with my mom."

I nodded, remembering Sora at one point telling me something about being Roxas' brother, and his uncle banging his mom... I just didn't know that his 'uncle' was his actual father.

Weird.

"Uh so, anyways, cake. Do want."

"Riku, you're such a fatty. You ate cake all last week," Sora said, shaking his head.

"So did you, and you can't lie to me-I know you want that cake as much as I do. Xion probably baked all her unrequited love for blond bastards and bitches into that damn cake."

"Uh, I'm right here, you know."

"Yeah, I know, what about it?"

Xion sighed. "Whatever. Stuff your faces. I hope you all die from arsenic poisoning."

I took a bite of cake that was handed to me. "Mmm, almond-y," I said, and faked a rather dramatic death.

"Noooooo! Riku! Why, god, why?" Axel fake sobbed, throwing himself over me and pretending to be crying hysterically.

"Alright, Thing one and Thing two, knock it off," Roxas said, rolling his eyes. "We really should keep them separated, Sora."

"Huh? Oh...yeah," Sora said, surprised that Roxas was actually being remotely friendly towards him-usually when they spoke, Roxas was his normal bitchy self.

"Okay, can we just get on with the games?"

"Right... okay. Who wants to play shitty games we were supposed to play in middle school but never did until high school?"

"What _kind_ of games?" Sora asked.

A universal facepalm occurred then. "Spin the bottle, ten fingers, Truth or Dare, Seven Minutes in Heaven, you know... mostly makeout games."

"Well, except for ten fingers. That doesn't have any physical contact involved," Roxas said, shrugging. "We should probably start out with that one."

We all agreed, and so the 'fun' commenced.

* * *

><p>Axel went first. "Never have I ever gotten so wasted I forgot who I was." I put a finger down, noting that Larxene had also, making me feel a little better.<p>

Then it was Roxas, "never have I ever eaten squid." Xion, Sora and I all put a finger down.

Then Xion. "Never have I ever sucked Axel off," she said, shrugging.

"Hey, you can't target people!" Roxas said, scowling.

"I'm not. Larxene put a finger down too."

Roxas scowled and put a finger down. It was Namine's turn. "Um...never have I ever had sex with a girl."

Everyone but her and Sora put a finger down.

"Never have I ever fucked Axel," I said, shrugging.

"Why do you guys keep using me in your turns?" Axel asked, earning a circle full of 'Are you serious right now?' looks. He frowned.

"Um...never have I ever...had sex." Sora said, blushing as he realized that yes, he was the only virgin here.

"How in the hell-Riku! What's wrong with you?"

"I'm not a rapist?"

Axel rolled his eyes.

"Oh god...what haven't I done? Okay. I've never licked Riku's dog." That was Larxene.

"I don't have a dog."

"Okay, what ever kind of pet you have."

Roxas put down a finger.

"Why'd you put down a finger, Rox?" Sora asked.

"Remember when we were little, and Nami thought she would marry you? I licked you so I could keep you."

Sora blinked, not getting it.

"He's saying you're my pet."

"What? I'm not-"

I cut him off with a kiss, effectively silencing him for several minutes.

* * *

><p>Larxene was the first out of fingers, with me following shortly, and Axel was out one turn later.<p>

After everyone but Sora was out, we all chose a different game, deciding to combine spin the bottle and 7 minutes in heaven. Beforehand, we all agreed what happened in that room stayed in that room and relationships were held temporarily void.

Surprisingly, Sora didn't make a fuss about it.

Somehow I managed to get locked in a closet with Sora on the first spin. I closed the closet door behind us, noting that the closet pretty much forced us to be practically on top of each other. "Hey there," I said, grinning. "They're going to bust into the closet in two minutes...should we give them a show?" Because to my friends, seven minutes meant wait two minutes and then bust in, hoping to catch your friends doing something kinky in the closet.

"Sure, I guess..?"

"Awesome," I said, and took off my shirt, assisting Sora in doing the same thing. With that, I decided that since this would most likely be my last chance in a few days to do so, I started kissing the brunette roughly. He matched me one for one, moaning into the kiss occasionally when I let my hands roam over his bare skin. Despite being a virgin, he was very vocal.

As I predicted, the door was thrown open a few seconds past two minutes. They, of course, were greeted by the sight of Sora's legs wrapped around my hips, back against the wall.

"Hawwwtttt," Xion said, fangirling for a second. "Okay, now get the fuck out."

I let Sora down gently, grabbing our shirts as we walked out of the closet. After that, Sora somehow managed to get stuck going into the closet with everyone.

The last time, he was paired up with Roxas, and so we stuck them in the closet. Within a minute, they busted out of the closet, ferociously (and cheesily) devouring each other's faces. Needless to say, Axel was forever going to pester my boyfriend about a threesome (which would never happen).

* * *

><p>We left at around six, leaving Sora at Roxas' house with Namine as Namine wasn't really into the whole club scene. I wasn't either, having been there and done that, but I didn't bother ruining my friend's fun.<p>

We ended up going to a strip club in which I sat in the back against the wall, bored, texting Sora through Namine's phone because frankly, I had never really found strippers to be that appealing, and didn't really care that much for the music that threatened to make my ears bleed.

* * *

><p>Eventually, I wound up driving us home as Axel had managed to get himself, Roxas, and Xion totally wasted, and Larxene had gone home with a pink haired guy three years older than us that I vaguely recalled from our freshman year.<p>

Now, while I still didn't have my license, I was fully capable of driving the five miles to Roxas' home, where we'd all agreed to pass out on the floor until tomorrow night. Well, they would. I'd laugh at them and sleep in Roxas' bed with Sora, because I wasn't wasted. Idiots.

"Riku! What's wrong with them?" Sora asked, flailing as he went over to each teen currently passed out on the floor from the alcohol they'd illegally obtained.

"Wasted," I said, resting my head in the crook of the shorter boy's neck.

"Are you?"

"Nah," I said, snaking my arms into the hoodie he'd acquired in my absence. "I'm tired, though. We should steal Roxas' bed and get some sleep."

"Oh," Sora said, as I pushed him back onto the bed, crawling over him and collapsing next to him. "Okay."

I wrapped my arms around him, smiling into his hair.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: trolololol I'm a bad person.**

dearlybelovedangel: I'm glad you didn't hate it. xD The fluff conspires to kill you slowly by roasting your insides with it's cuteness.

egyptian1995: I got stuck with a bunch of random AP classes at school. They're conspiring to keep me away from fanfiction. lol (Oh hey, this is that next chapter.)


	19. Indecorum

"Awwww, that's so disgusting," was one of the first things I heard, alerting me that I was probably about to be steam rolled by the fat ass more commonly known as Axel.

My eyes shot open as I rolled (and flailed) off the bed, scaring Sora and making him jump up, looking around nervously. Axel glared at me, angry that I foiled his plans. "You're hung over, Axel, why are you trying to steamroll people?"

"Who said I was-" Axel then ran to the bathroom, hurling.

Hangovers are so attractive. Really. They're my number one turn on.

I rolled my eyes and glanced at Sora, who was already back to sleeping. I sighed, knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep again, and took it upon myself to prod mercilessly at the rest of the hungover children on Roxas' bedroom floor (including the blond himself), earning several groans of 'Fuck off.'

It was around that time that I noticed we had gained hungover children in the night, and I deduced that Roxas' bedroom floor was a magnet for underage drinkers. I prodded them too, and one even growled-I vaguely remembered him as being Axel's friend in middle school, who he may or may not have gotten it on with in our sophomore year,-and I slowly backed away, eyebrow raised.

"Hey, Ax, when'd the floor start sprouting hungover children?" I asked as he sauntered back into the room, as if running and hurling was a normal Sunday morning occurrence.

Now that I think about it...it wouldn't surprise me if it was for him.

"Huh? Oh, I think they came back with us...or something. I don't know."

"I was sober, and they weren't in the van."

"I don't even know how we got home, bro. Don't ask me," he said, rubbing his temples.

"You got wasted so I dragged all of you bumbling idiots into the van and drove."

"Shit, Riku, that's illegal!"

I raised an eyebrow. "I feel like it's a lesser evil than drunk driving and getting us all killed."

Axel frowned. "Good point. But yeah, I don't know what's up with those three-well, no, Demyx is Roxas' new step brother," he said. "So he kinda lives here, but I don't know what he's doing passed out here not in his own room."

"I didn't know Roxas had a step brother," I said, brows furrowing as I looked down at the blond.

"He was already an adult when their parents remarried," Axel explained. "So he chose to stay with his mom for a while until she, uh, died."

"Oh."

Axel shook his head. "He's weird. Really stupid. Like... _really_ stupid."

"With that hair? I don't doubt it," I said, shrugging. "I'm gonna go for a walk."

"Don't get shot!"

"I will!"

Axel chuckled as I closed the front door behind me. It was then that I noticed that it was raining. I promptly turned on my heel and went back inside.

* * *

><p>The rest of vacation was a blatant waste of my time and I at one point considered shooting myself once Roxas' parents got their hands on me, because they were under the notion that I was just Sora's best friend, despite them both being friends with me on facebook-weird, right?<p>

They also thought that I was still dating Xion, which I hadn't done for...what, three years? Okay. I think I had a reason to laugh at that notion.

"No, no. I'm dating _Sora,_" I said, shaking my head. Roxas' parents were pretty chill about gay people, considering Roxas was openly (read: flamboyantly) bisexual, and I later found out that Demyx was gay and had a boyfriend named Zexion, who frankly, was something like a zombie.

"Oh," Roxas' mother said, blinking. "I didn't know you were gay, Sora."

Sora shrugged. "You wouldn't," he said. "My parents didn't accept it."

"Well, you know you always have a home with us," she said, smiling warmly.

"Don't worry, Mom, he lives with Riku. In bed," Axel said, from where he leaned against the counter, gracefully stabbing at his pizza with a fork. Seriously, who eats pizza with a fork? Dweeb.

Roxas glared and chucked a mushroom at the redhead, hitting him in the middle of the forehead with it. "Why are you even here, Ax? This isn't an orphanage, you know."

Axel pouted. "Don't you love me at all, Roxy?I thought we were best friends," he said, holding his heart.

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Don't you have a family of your own?"

"Roxas, be nice," his mother said, shaking her equally blond head at him.

* * *

><p>"AGHGRAGRGESFJARGNRKS," was all I got out before falling face first down a flight of stairs.<p>

"Riku!" Kairi screeched, running down the stairs and kneeling behind me. "Are you okay?"

"Ugh. Never been better," I said, heaving myself up. "Hey Kairi, can you do me a favor?"

"Um, sure, what do you need?"

"Please for the love of god, either wear something under your skirt or shave your firecrotch."

"Oh my god!" Kairi squealed, turning completely red in the face.

I earned that slap. I will wear the imprint of Kairi's hand proudly on my face for the rest of the day.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Riku, what happened to your face?"<p>

"What are you talking about, Sora? This is how my face always looks."

"No, it isn't-"

"Of course it is. Right, Kairi?"

"I'm not talking to you anymore, Riku."

Sora narrowed his eyes.

* * *

><p>"Whoa, Riku, what happened to you?"<p>

"Wha-oh, that. I fell down some stairs," I said, glancing dismissively at the bruises that sprouted from my stomach and arms.

"Riku," Sora said, frowning. "Are you and Kairi having an affair?"

"What?"

"Are you and Kairi...you know, doing things behind Yuffie and I's back?"

"Uh, no? Where'd you get that idea?"

"Well, the other day, Kairi was all mad at you, and you had that hand mark..."

"Oh," I said, shaking my head. "I accidentally looked up her skirt and she wasn't wearing anything underneath...I made fun of her and she got mad."

Sora narrowed his eyes at me, again.

"I'm telling the truth, Sora. I don't even _like_ redheads."

"What about Axel?"

"What does he have to do with any of this? And no, I don't like Axel. He's my bro, not my ho."

"Oh, so I'm just a ho to you?"

"No! Dammit, Sora, what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with _you_, Riku?" He said, poking my chest.

"Nothing. You're the one who doesn't fucking trust me," I said, frowning. "I don't cheat. I never have. You can ask anyone who knows me-_I. Don't. Cheat."_

Sora frowned. "Why don't you ever hang out with me? Or hold my hand in the hallways, or kiss me?"

"Um, we live together. Whenever you're not at school or work, we're around each other," I said, brows furrowed. "I don't know what you mean by we never hang out."

"We never do stuff," he said, frowning.

"Okay, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, quit changing the subject."

"I'm not-it's pertinent to this discussion for me to know _what_ you'd like to spend our free time doing in order to fix the err in my ways," I said, crossing my arms. "And you don't _let_ me hold your hands in the hallways, Sora. Remember? I tried that. You looked at me weird and walked away."

"I had to go to the bathroom."

"Well, I thought that look meant 'quit it you freak' so I didn't try again. Sorry."

"Why are you getting all defensive?"

"Oh, I don't know, Sora, because you're accusing me of shit that doesn't even make sense?"

"You called me a ho."

"Oh my god. Sora. I did not call you a ho. It was a figure of speech that I used to explain that I have no interest in Axel in any way other than that of he's my bro. Which means we regularly pick on each other and hate each other's guts more often than we get along."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Axel is like the older brother I would have rathered," I said, rolling my eyes. "And with the exception of you and Roxas, brothers don't like each other that way."

"I don't—-"

"I'm _joking,_" I said, rubbing my temples. "Why are you being all pms-y? Are _you_ cheating on me?"

"What? Why would I do that?"

"I don't know, you have more opportunities to do it-for all I know you're not even working anymore, just selling yourself-which would be really bad, considering your hours."

"Are you implying what I think you're implying?"

"I don't know, what do you think I'm implying?"

"That I'm some cheap prostitute?"

"Uh, no. For one, I was being metaphorical. For two, I never said you were cheap."

"You wanna go, Riku?"

"You know what? COME AT ME, ESE!"

Sora was actually about to punch me. Then he paused, stared at me wide eyed, and uttered softly, "what does ese mean?"

"It's... I don't know, Sora, I didn't take Spanish," I said, rolling my eyes as I grabbed his still raised fist in mine and captured his lips. "So, what's wrong with you?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This is my third try to edit this damn thing. I am about to rage quit this computer. **

****egyptian1995: It's hard to keep him so innocent, lol. Probably because I'm not very innocent. XD  
>And yes, there was totes some marluxene goin' on up in thar. ;D<p>

NonesenseVerse: I'm slowing down on my updating though. D: I blame school/using a different computer that keeps deleting my stuff. Dx

dearlybelovedangel: It's probably one of my favorite party games. I can never think of any either lol.

Rikuobsession (): First off, thanks for all the reviews. ." I was almost done replying to /all/ of them when my computer pulled a fail. xD  
>Honestly, I can't either. But that's mostly because I'd be like, "Oh hey, I'm hallucinating." XD Roxas and Riku would have a good lovehate relationship. It'd be kinda like Seiner, because they'd hate each other's guts.  
>I've a tendency to be the one kicked. D: But sometimes, you just gotta do both. Just for lols.<br>lol. Akuriku is too close to akuroku. I'd get confused. XD  
>Yuffikai is to femslash what akuroku is to MxM, in my opinion. At least in KH terms, lol. My parents are pretty cool. Otherwise I'd be on the streets now. :D<br>lol. There's tentacle porn all over this story. It's kinda crazy. Like Riku. xD  
>XD Whenever I get the urge to smack a ho, I smack the nearest Kairi cosplayer. I'm a bad person.<br>Axel would so ground you. Because he's a horrible mother figure, despite them child-bearing hips. :c  
>Namine is weird. And that sounds like the best dream ever. xD Also? End school requirements and I will worship you for-well, a few months, since then I'd be over with it anyways...<br>Geesh. Pre-med. So glad I'm going into cosmetology. XD  
>Larxene=male. No doubts in my mind. And don't worry, I hadn't played any of them until last yearish. lol no one wants to do Axel because Axel just wants to do a certain little blondie. ;D<p>

Okay, I /think/ that covers all of the reviews... if not, I'm sorry D: 


	20. Pretense

_"So, what's wrong with you?"_

Sora looked away, down to the left. "Nothing..."

"Sora," I said, frowning. "You're a horrible liar-what's bothering you? You can talk to me."

"Nothing! It's stupid, so just drop it, okay?"

"You can yell at me all you want, but if it bothers you this much, it's obviously something."

"Well, you're wrong! So just shut up."

"How about no?" I said, sitting him down on the bed. "You don't need to hide things from me. I don't even care if you're just feeling self conscious about the size of your dick. I'll listen."

"I'm not," he said, rolling his eyes. "But now I'm starting to think you said that because you're small."

I snorted. "That's not what your-sorry, I shouldn't go there," I said, shaking my head. "Just... if something's bothering you, no matter what it is, you can tell me. And I'll help if I can."

"So if I decided suddenly that I was straight?"

I winced. "That's not really something I can stop," I said, grinning awkwardly. "So if that's what's bothering you...I understand."

"It's...not," Sora said, frowning. "Riku, do you only like me because I'm feminine?"

"Uh, no."

"Why do you like me?"

"Because you dumped pop on me."

"I'm serious!"

I sighed. "Do you want this for here or to go?"

"Uh...here?"

"Alright." I said, and rubbed my forehead. "Because you're cute, in that innocent way. Because you blush easily. Because you care about everything, even if it's not really a big deal you still make it better. You're happy, but not in an overwhelming way. You're fun to be around," I said.

"That's all?"

I shook my head, smiling. "I wasn't finished," I said. "I like the way you laugh. The way you sneeze. The way you yawn. The way you can never open things, and so I have to. The way you're small enough that I feel like I can curl around you completely, but not so short that it's just awkward. The way your skin stays perfectly tanned year-round, the way your hair naturally spikes, the way your eyes light up whenever you see something or hear something you like, the way you pout, the way you totally have freckles if I look close enough, the way you just randomly lack body hair, the way you sound like a little girl on the phone, the way you moan like a girl sometimes, the way you smell different from me even though we use the same soap, the way you smell me all the time, the way you're a total creep without even meaning to be, and the way you're so insecure sometimes."

"I should have asked for that to go, huh?"

"Too late."

Sora smiled. "Thank you, Riku. I didn't know you liked me enough to speak for three minutes straight about it."

"Well, you know... I kinda like you. A lot. Sorta comes with the whole dating thing. Especially when you're pretty much my best friend."

"I feel like I've known you forever, but I really haven't," he said, smiling.

"Yeah... same here."

"Do you miss being home?"

"This...kinda is my home now. It's...weird being back there; I mean, yeah, it's great to hang out with all my old friends and everything, but... I'd rather be here, with you."

"I was thinking about moving in with my aunt and uncle," Sora said, eyes searching my ceiling for some sign from god.

"Oh," I said. "When, ah-are you, uh, goINg?"

"Did your voice just crack?"

"...maybe," I said, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. "I think I need to put some glow in the dark stars all over."

"That'd be cool," he said, resting his head on my chest. "I was thinking...after I graduated, I would... go there. Try to go to school...you know."

"Oh, I see."

"Are-is that okay?"

"Well, I'm not really in the position to keep you from living your life, nor do I plan on it."

"So...when I leave..."

"I'll be wherever you want me," I said, smiling slightly. "EvEN—shit,-even if that means I'm not right beside you."

"I...I don't want your life resting on my shoulders, Riku..."

"I don't have any plans."

"I...know that, but- you can't just base your life on me!"

"Sora, really. If you don't want me to follow you, I get it-just say so."

"I-that's not what I mean," he said, sighing. "I don't..."

"It's okay, really," I said, thankful that I never bothered to cut my hair, as when I laid back it covered my face, hiding my expression completely.

"I don't have a future here," he said, absently tracing the Mickey Mouse on my t-shirt. "But you don't want to go back, do you?"

"I don't care where I am, as long as you're near. Don't you get that yet?"

"Riku..."

"I know, it's stupid for me to say stuff like that. Sorry."

"No, Riku-it's sweet. Really sweet. And... I really don't know what to do," he said, wiping his face. "People keep telling me that you'll probably decide you'd rather have some girl, settle down and have a family, be normal-and I don't want to take that away from you, because I know you'd be a great father, and I-"

"Me? A great father? Whatever you're on, I want some."

"Well, I mean... you're really caring and loving, and fun, and I think you'd make a great dad someday, 'cause you'd be really laid back and the kinda dad every kid wants," Sora said, shaking his head. "I can't take you away from your children, it'd be wrong."

"Sora...you ever hear of adoption? Yeah. It's real. Just ask Xion."

"What?"

"Xion's adopted. I felt like such an ass when I found out, because I always made adoption and your mom jokes before. I had to add 'not that you'd know' to every your mom joke after that."

"You're a horrible person."

"Exactly why I shouldn't be creating little Riku-spawn."

"They'd probably have tentacles."

"And be covered in green slime."

"And smell like baloney."

"I don't smell like baloney!"

"No, that's from their mom."

"Not that they'd know?"

"Right."

"Because if she smelled like baloney, I'm sorry, but that's just not okay. I would kick her ass out on the streets."

"What if she smelled like cat food?"

"I wouldn't even come within ten yards of her. That shit is disgusting."

"So if one day I smelled like cat food, you wouldn't come near me?"

"Oh, no. If it's you, I'd just make you take a shower with me."

"I'm not showering with you," Sora said, frowning.

"You wouldn't have a choice."

"Why not?"

"Hey, does this smell like chloroform?"

"Yeah, it kinda-" Sora pretended to snore.

"And this is exactly why neither of us should reproduce."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Riku?"<p>

"Yes, Sora?"

"What's the current GDP of the US?"

"Um... different than it was last year?"

"Okay, thanks."

"...You're really going to put that, aren't you?"

"Well...yeah..."

"Okay. If he accuses you of copying my homework, it's your fault."

"I'll phrase it different."

"Okay," I flicked a piece of paper across the table. "Homework is overrated. We should go frolic."

"Riku..."

"C'mon...all that crap should be taken in moderation. Let's go frolic."

"Alright...where are we frolicking to?"

"Hm... Kairi's backyard?"

"Nah... her dad might shoot us if he finds us there again."

"Pfff-bullets. C'mon, Sor, be a man! You can take a couple head shots!"

"Whatever, Riku. We could go harass Cloud-my parents are on their second honeymoon."

"Alright. I don't know where your old house is, though."

"Um, I should probably ask him if he's even home," Sora said, frowning. "Can I see your phone?"

"Have at," I said, handing him the device.

He quickly sent a text, receiving a reply a few seconds later. Sora grimaced. "He's having a party tonight."

"Ew, with other people?"

"No, with cows."

"Kinky."

Sora rolled his eyes. "Do you want to go?"

"Only if you want to," I said, shrugging. I wasn't much for loud places with teenagers trying to have sex with each other in front of me.

"It's a costume party," Sora said, blinking at the screen.

"In May?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to go?"

"...a little."

"Want to be drag queens?"

"...a little."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Why yes, I am a horrible person. :D**

dearlybelovedangel: It's basically the equivalent of bro in modern times... because I don't know many people who say homeboy anymore. lol (maybe that's just a thing here, but we call everyone bro.)

egyptian1995: I ended up rage quitting that computer and going back to my laptop. xD I'm glad you liked it, though :D


	21. Travesty

"Woah, Riku, I didn't know you had your ears pierced," Sora said, staring at the blatantly obvious metal objects shoved through holes all over my ear.

"How have you never once noticed? I'm always messing with them," I said, raising an eyebrow. Currently, we were in my mother's bathroom, getting ready for Cloud's party. Sora was in the maid's dress he'd gotten for Halloween, and me in...well, clothing that I stole from my mom's closet.

I have never been more uncomfortable in my life.

"Ri-ri, I suck at makeup," Sora said, frowning at the mirror.

"Here, lemme do it," I said, sighing. "We should try to make your hair flat."

"Only if we curl yours," Sora said, closing his eyes as I made quick-work of his eye makeup.

...Larxene used to make me play dress up with her a lot.

After straightening and spraying Sora's hair down, and curling mine into big curls, we not only felt extremely awkward, but were walked in on by my father, who promptly proceeded to turn on his heel and evacuate to the shed, his so-called 'man-cave.'

Of course, I was completely conspicuous, being that I, you know, had muscles. And the dress (which was stretchy and cold on my skin, weirdly enough) I was wearing was kinda clingy.

Sora, however, just looked like a girl, to the point where my mother didn't even recognize him at first. Which was awkward.

* * *

><p>The party was actually relatively small; Cloud wasn't the most social being, after all. As soon as we stepped into the house (which was unsurprisingly a typical two-car garage beige house in the suburbs that looked like a replica of all the others on the street), Tifa came prancing over, dressed in well... I wasn't entirely sure <em>what<em> she was supposed to be, but it looked painful, because her chest was completely flat-and that was quite a feat for someone like Tifa.

"Wow, did we all have some sort of weird telepathic communication agreeing to be cross dressers at Cloudie's party?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Apparently," I said, shrugging. "Are you supposed to be like a male stripper or something?"

"...I don't want to know how you managed to guess that, Riku, but yes."

"Telepathic communication, remember? You told me what you were going to be already."

"Oh, right," she said, rolling her eyes. "Anyways- Cloud! We've got two more drag queens!"

I looked around, expecting to see spikey blond hair-but no. Cloud himself was in drag. It was kind of hilarious.

Now that I thought about it-the _majority_ of the party was in some sort of drag.

Mind = blown.

The most surprising thing? Kairi was there. Looking like a miniature, more feminine Axel. Though when we got closer, it was apparent that she was not, in any shape or form, Axel or any imitation of Axel. She just had the misfortune of being a redhead. With her was Namine, dressed in clothes that were obviously Roxas', and a girl I think was named Olette, with two boys in normal superhero costumes that didn't involve cross dressing at all.

They apparently didn't get the memo.

For the most part, the party was kind of boring-Sora and I wandered aimlessly around whilst our classmates got wasted on the booz purchased by some tall obnoxious blond and his two buddies, one of which was cross dressing and reminded me strongly of a taller Zexion with reddish brown eyes rather than grayish blue.

* * *

><p>After occasionally messing around with people's heads, randomly making out on Sora's old bed, and eating Cloud's food off his plate when he wasn't looking, we headed home, locked ourselves in my room, and stared blankly at each other.<p>

"So..."

"So?"

"Cloud's parties kind of suck."

"Yeah... your friends throw way better ones."

"Yeah..."

"You make a really funny looking girl."

"You make a really fucking hot girl."

"Your mom makes a really fucking hot girl."

"Why thank you, I thought so too."

"Riku, that's disgusting."

"You said it first!"

"Go...be not an awkwardly muscular woman!"

"Okay. But only if you keep being a pretty little girl for me," I said, waggling my fingers at him as I exited into the bathroom to wash the makeup off my face. I wandered back into my room in normal (well, for me anyways) male clothing, not expecting Sora to be lazily draped across my bed, still in full crossplay.

I wasn't complaining.

I walked over and nonchalantly ran a hand up one of his legs. "You've got nice legs, Sora," I said, smirking. "I'd love to be between them sometime."

"Oh my god, Riku, that was _bad._"

"Oh, please. You know that was the best pickup line you've ever heard."

"Oh, totally. I definitely want to spread my legs for you now."

"Like Kairi and... everyone?"

"Totally."

"Sweet."

"C'mere," Sora said, wrapping his legs around my knees and making me half-fall onto him, catching myself with my elbows. "Hey there."

"Hey," I said, lips ghosting over his.

"Quit being a tease," he said, rolling his eyes, "and kiss me already, would you?"

I happily obliged, immersing myself into the kiss as Sora pulled on the zipper of the hoodie I'd thrown on just for the heck of it. I paused when he tugged on my jeans. "You, uh, sure you want your first time to happen when you're in a dress?"

Sora glared at me.

"You're going to forever remember this as that time Cloud threw a crappy party so we left early and fucked."

Cue more glaring.

"The carpet doesn't match the curtains."

"Are you telling me all this because you don't want to, or do you generally try to cock block everyone you fuck?"

"Uh... well, I just... are you even ready for this?"

"Not if you don't shut up," Sora said, pressing his mouth against mine.

To be honest, I was fully prepared for the tentacles that suddenly wrapped themselves around me.

* * *

><p>"Riku? Are you okay?"<p>

"Where are we?" I groaned. This was not my room.

"Um, we're in my old room... are you sure you're okay?"

"Completely... just another dream in which you're in drag and we're about to get it on, and then you grow tentacles."

"I...Riku, you really need to stop watching tentacle porn."

"It was one time!"

"Anyways, do you remember what happened last night?"

"Um..." I thought back. "Nope."

"Riku, I can't believe you forgot," Sora said, frowning.

"Shit...we didn't...did we?"

"What? No! You got in a fight with Yuffie. Well, it was more like Yuffie got in a fight with you," he said, shaking his head. "She got mad and hit you over the head with an empty beer bottle."

"Oh... makes sense."

"You're okay now, though, right? You don't feel weird or anything?"

"Uh, no... I mean, I kinda feel like I just had a really awkward dream, but other than that I'm fine," I said, shrugging. "What time is it?"

"It's like two in the morning. I texted your mom and told her we were staying here because you got hit in the head."

"Did she buy that?"

"Surprisingly, no."

"Why is that surprising? It's my mom. She probably thought we were too drunk to find our way home."

"...right."

"Well..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm kind of afraid that if I try to get in your skirt right now, you'll sprout tentacles."

"I promise you I won't, but you're not getting any."

"Dammit!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: trolololol. Oh, and by the way? safe search is your friend. D: **

egyptian1995: I'm glad you liked it! I hope you like this one too. XD

dearlybelovedangel: WELL FINE THEN, lol. xD Maybe we're just weird 'round here.

TheHungryWriter: I'm glad to hear that. :) I hope you feel better soon.


	22. Blase

"Do you ever go home? Like do you even _have_ parents?"

"Leave him alone," I said, rolling my eyes. "He hasn't done anything to you."

"So I should just feign ignorance to the freeloader in my home?"

I shot him a look. "I really don't think you can even make that argument."

"Fuck you."

"At least he has a job!" I yelled at the retreating form of my brother, who promptly slammed his bedroom door. That's the thing about my mom and brother-when they're angry, they take it upon themselves to slam every slam-able surface, break innocent dishes and scream. I've never really understood the concept of 'I'm mad, I'm going to make a fool out of myself and take it out on things that didn't do anything to cause my anger' that those two seemed to live by.

I glanced at Sora, who was staring at his feet.

"Don't let him get to you," I said, ruffling his hair. "He's like an old cat. Really mean for no apparent reason, but always really affectionate when you don't want it."

"That's... not a very good example."

"It made sense in my head," I shrugged. "Do you want pudding? I want pudding. We should make pudding."

"Riku, last time you made pudding it looked like we were eating bowls of jizz," Sora said, sighing. "I don't know that I can ever eat pudding with you again."

"Aw, sure you can! I mean, really. It doesn't taste a thing like it."

"I didn't really want to know that."

"So...pudding?"

"...fine, but only if you keep your mouth shut about it."

"Fuck yeah!" I said, fisting the air. I yanked the milk out of the fridge and set to work, dumping the ingredients into the pan.

* * *

><p>"It looks like jizz," Sora remarked, stirring the warm white goo in his bowl. "Why do we always eat it warm?"<p>

"Because it's _better_ when it's warm."

"So, in other words because you can make more jokes about it?"

"...maybe."

"Okay," Sora said, shaking his head. "You really need to stop eating this stuff."

"But I _loves_ it."

"It gives you headaches and makes you break out in hives, Riku."

"So do cheap prostitutes, but I'm not complaining."

Sora scowled. "That doesn't even make sense."

"Okay, so they're not exactly hives...but who needs details? Not this kid."

"You're going to be up all night regretting this."

* * *

><p>"I regret nothing," I said, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand after three consecutive brushings and a near-death experience with the mouthwash.<p>

"You're killing your esophagus and your enamel."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"I'm not kissing you."

"I wasn't going to make you," I said, rolling my eyes. "Even though I did brush my teeth three times and used mouthwash."

"This wouldn't happen if you didn't eat it."

I shrugged. "If I lived by that theory I would starve to death."

Sora puffed out his cheeks. "I'm just saying that it's not good to eat food even though it always makes you sick," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "You really need to take better care of yourself."

"I think I'm doing okay."

"You barely eat anything."

"I barely need to."

"You should be eating over 2,200 calories a day," he said, hands on his hips. "Do you know how many you eat?"

"I don't keep track," I said, frowning. "But you seem to know everything today, so why don't you tell me?"

"Under a thousand! That is not okay, Riku!"

"I don't see a problem with it," I said, shrugging as I stretched. "I'm not like, anorexic or anything."

"You need to take better care of yourself, you idiot!"

I raised an eyebrow. "And when was the last time you've eaten that many?"

"I-"

"Exactly. And are you feeling extraordinarily malnourished?"

"Well...no."

"Do you ever get dizzy, or pass out? Do you struggle with anemia?"

"...no."

"Then I don't see why you're lecturing me when you're not eating that much either."

"But, Riku-"

"I'm fine, Sora. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me or my eating habits. I just don't eat a bunch of crap I'm not hungry for."

"Riku... all those things, you don't-"

"No, Sora. I took AP health at my old school."

"Oh."

I sighed. "Can we just go to sleep now? I have a headache."

"You shouldn't have eaten the pudding."

"I know, god."

* * *

><p>There are times in my life that occur during my periodic bouts of apathy in which I become essentially catatonic. During these times, I can often be found either unable to remove myself from whatever surface I fell asleep on last, or sitting somewhere, staring blankly at nothing in particular for hours on end.<p>

During these times, I lose all ability to function like an average human being. I can't talk, I can't eat, I can't read, I can't write, I can't draw, I can't even _think._ It's a time where my thoughts do the impossible; they cease to exist altogether.

I hate the days that are that way. I hate them because there is no way for me to pull myself out of it, no way to prevent it, and no way to stop people from worrying about me to no end.

And then the days following it, I'm perfectly fine. A normal Riku Montgomery. I sing, I dance, I do flips, I even chase my-you know, I'm not even going to go there.

Actually? Fuck this shit.

"Hey, Sora? Sometimes I get really fucking depressed and stop functioning. Just thought you might want to know," I said. "Don't worry too much if it happens, I usually come out of it before a week passes."

"Riku, I swear to god," Sora said, rubbing his temples. "You chose the weirdest times to say important things."

"Well... yeah. That way you'll remember them," I said, tilting my head. "If I told you in a discreet way, you'd probably forget."

"You-never mind. I'm not going to state the obvious when I need to be working on my-hey, why aren't you working on _your_ final project?"

"Huh? Oh. That. I finished it ages ago," I said, shrugging.

"How in the-sometimes you really piss me off."

"Yeah, I have that effect on people."

* * *

><p>"I can't do this anymore," Sora said, rubbing his temples. "Take me away from this, please."<p>

"Okay, sure. What do you wanna do?"

"I don't even care, anything not school related."

"_Anything?_"

"Excluding sex, drugs, and getting ourselves in trouble/danger."

"I was going to suggest we try to make pretzels," I said, raising an eyebrow. "But that could easily fall under that last category.

"Do you even know how to make pretzels?"

"Well yeah, duh. I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't," I said, rolling my eyes.

"So basically you're just going to dump a bunch of crap in a bowl and hope it works?"

"Nah, I actually have a recipe this time," I said, smirking. "And I've even used it before."

"I'm scared."

"As you should be," I said, holding my hand out for him to take. "Shall we?"

"Why don't we just... I don't know, not do something productive?"

"Well, okay. We could... I don't know, play half an hour in heaven."

"Uh, no."

"We could...pester Kairi into coming over and making us food?"

"Kairi's with Yuffie today."

"So they could-never mind, I don't want that thing knowing where I keep sharp shiny objects."

Sora and I shared a look and shuddered.

"Let's just go get ice cream."

"Agreed."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** **meh, it's thursday. I couldn't motivate myself to write much.**

Witch Of Tragedies: I'm glad you like it. :3

egyptian1995: That's pretty much the only reason I like Cloud, lol. Don't worry, any time Sora tries to be dominant I'm probably trolling you. XD

Rikuobsession (): Story of my life. xD I try to reply to things when they're stuff I can reply to.  
>I wish you luck! And I wish my dreams were that awesome, ;y;<br>DEM HIPS.  
>lol. But mostly for the cows, right?<br>I tried to search something (I don't remember what, but it was fairly innocent) with safe search off. I got a bunch of porn in my results. DO NOT WANT. Dx  
>Lol. Riku's mom...lol.<p>

dearlybelovedangel: Silly, Sora would never allow that! XD

**I really can't believe this story has gotten so big and so popular (like Axel's dick?) in the last few days. It makes me feel all happy inside. I'd totally say I loved you guys, but sometimes I'm a Nobody so I don't think you'd believe me. ;M; I'll try and update tomorrow. Thanks for reading/reviewing! :D  
><strong>


	23. Enigma

Whilst Sora worked his ass off at Denny's, I was generally stuck at home.

Doing dishes.

My life. I hate it.

Since my life ultimately revolved around the brunette, during my 'Riku time' (which I wasn't particularly fond of) I picked up new hobbies.

Which is how I found myself staring blankly into the pot of what _swore_ it would become lemon pudding for the _perfect_ lemon meringue pie. Did I trust it? Not at all. Especially since I'm pretty sure I've been stirring this yellow crap for a good fifteen minutes, and it's _still_ not thickening.

And just when I thought I was going to have to rage-quit this project, the substance suddenly turned thick and weird. "Ew..." I said, as I stirred it around before shrugging and dumping it into the awaiting pie crusts and letting it sit there whilst I made meringue to cover it with.

Now, if you really must know, I _hate _eggs. With the passion of a million suns. So when I say I made meringue, I mean I dumped the egg whites in, scrambled them to death with my new bamf of a hand-mixer, added sugar and continued until that shit was _stiff as hell._

This is generally how one makes meringue. However, one generally does not shout obscenities and cackling as if they were crazed whilst preforming said task. No, this is something only I do, in the privacy of my own kitchen.

Because I _really_ hate eggs.

* * *

><p>"Ohmyfluffinggod," Sora said, spazzing. "Ri-ri, you're like a flippin' god," he shoved more of the pie I had made earlier into his mouth, looking as if he were currently having an orgasm. "Why in the <em>hell<em> don't you want to be a chef?"

"Because, Sora, I hate working with other people," I said, rolling my eyes. "I went to culinary school last year-I was too annoyed by anyone and hid in the dish washing station."

"Riku...you're so hopeless."

"Yeah... I know, Sora," I said, shaking my head. "I've known that all my life."

"Seriously, you'd be good at it," he said, finishing off the rest of his slice.

"I'm better at doing things for fun than being forced to do it for others."

Sora sighed. "Well, what do you _want_ to do?"

"I dunno... maybe I'll write," I said, shrugging. "My teachers have always said I had a career in it, after all. Might as well humor them."

"Riku," Sora said, frowning. "You have to do what _you_ want to do."

"But right now, I don't know what that is. It's okay to do other things until I do."

"Hmm, I guess you're right..."

I rolled my eyes. "Who knows, maybe I'll find some sudden desire to teach little pests like us how to write proper Engrish."

"Yeah, right."

* * *

><p>Sora was accepted to the school that every college bound student I'd known in my hometown (with the exception of a few) had dreams of going to. Meanwhile?<p>

I made random food and didn't do my homework, slept too much and stressed too much about having no aspirations in life and ultimately being a failure. When I wasn't doing that, I was usually showering Sora with affection because to be honest, I had little hope for the future and I wasn't entirely sure what the future held; all I knew was that if he went off to college and found someone else, I wanted him to remember these last few months as the best of our relationship.

Maybe that was a little stupid of me.

* * *

><p>I don't claim to have ever been in love. I never really have; I've always sort of shunned the notion of relationships lasting past highschool and therefore had always treated them as temporary bouts of super-fun times with a singular person, in which you grew extremely close and because of that, decided to express your closeness through physical means of affection rather than just emotional.<p>

Which may have been why now that I'd finally found someone I actually _wanted_ to keep in touch with and share that special closeness and affection reserved for those who are "together," it was slowly, but steadily, being ripped away from me.

To say I was 'not okay with this' would be the understatement of the century. I was fighting tooth and nail to cling to a boy who's heart was across the country in a school, whilst my own heart was lost and confused, most likely wounded and scared for it's future.

I'm not entirely sure when my heart became an entity of it's own, but somehow it had.

* * *

><p>"Riku...we need to talk."<p>

It was the phrase that got everyone's heart too scared to beat, or start pounding with anxiety. I attempted to hide the wave of dread that washed over me, resisting the urge to run away.

"Yes, Sora, what is it?"

"I...Riku, lately, I've been thinking a lot, and..."

"You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"

"No, Riku-"

"I understand... to be honest I knew something was up for a while..."

"No, Riku, that's not-quit jumping to conclusions!" Sora said, hitting me in the forehead. "Coulda had a v8."

"Is that really all you were going to-"

"No, Riku," he said, shaking his head. "I was... going to tell you something, but then that popped into my head so I did it, and now I don't think I can tell you, because that's too awkward."

"Oh god," I said. "You're pregnant, aren't you? I knew I should have made you take that pill..."

"Riku! That has- never mind. I can't talk to you right now," he said, shaking his head. "I'll tell you later...when the mood's right."

I frowned, watching the brunette walk over to the bed and collapse onto it. "Hey..." I said, sitting down next to him. "Are you alright, Sor?"

"mmm, tired," he said, yawning. "With all the hours I've been putting in, I feel like I never get to sleep anymore, even though I go to sleep the same time as always."

"You could do what I do," I said, smiling.

"I can't sleep during class. I'm not narcoleptic like you."

"Psht, whatever. You sleep like a rock."

"Yeah, at night, in bed."

"I like where this is going."

"Oh my god," Sora said, rolling his eyes. "You're so horrible."

"You like it."

"I do," he admitted. "I also like your face."

"What a coincidence, 'cause I like yours' too," I said, showering it with kisses to prove my point.

"Rikuu, quittttt," he said, giggling. "Ew! Don't lick me! Weirdo!"

"I'll lick you if I want to, dammit!"

"Oh my god, Riku, stop!" Sora said, shoving my face away with one hand. "You're disgusting."

"Eh, it's not like your face wouldn't be covered in my spit soon anyways."

"That's different!"

"Not really. I mean, sure, the method is a little different, but it results in the same thing; your face covered in my spit, breathing hard, and blushing."

"I hate you sometimes," Sora said, using my shirt to wipe his face off on.

"Aw, I love you too, sugar-plum-bunch!"

"What the hell is that?"

"Fuck if I know."

"Why do I hang out with you?"

"Because I make you food."

"Oh, right. That's definitely it."

"And because you want my-"

Cue knee to the groin.

"...recipes," I ground out.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: poor Riku...**

egyptian1995: thanks xD I realized halfway through writing it that I had no clue what he was trying to say. And yes, pudding. The magical word. Yes.  
>They totes didn't make pretzels and got ice cream instead. 8D<p>

RikuObsession (): lol not at all, I eat that pudding all the time. And everytime, my brother/dad/friend is like 'bro that looks like a bowl of jizz how can you eat that' xD  
>Lol, silly Sora... and recipes? Riku? NAH.<br>And guys. Us guys like Axel's hips too. D:  
>obby. dem cows in drag. unf. shot/  
>Or would you exist? o.0<br>Ugh. It was like... really bad. D: It didn't even need to have tentacles to scar me for life.  
>Ew, tacos. I live by photosynthesis. Yeah. I'm secretly related to catnip. Betcha didn't see that one coming.<br>Uh...Good luck with the dreaming thing, though. :D


	24. Arachnid

"I think I got bit by a radioactive spider."

Sora blinked. "Uh...why do you think that?"

"Uh, well... I really need to pee."

Sora stared blankly. "Um...how are those two related?"

"I don't know... I just feel like if I got bit by a radioactive spider, I'd really have to pee."

"I don't understand your logic sometimes. I really don't."

"Uh...I'm going to go find a bathroom."

"Good luck," Sora called over his shoulder.

We were on a 'field trip,' more commonly known as senior skip day, to the local Walmart. Why Walmart, you ask?

Why the fuck not.

I eventually found the bathrooms, by the shoe department (why?), and was about to go into the men's restroom, when some short Staff Member practically steamrolled me into the wall. I made unintelligible sputtering noises as I caught myself.

"Wrong bathroom! You use womans!" The woman said, in broken English.

"Uh, no...I use the mens' room, because I'm a man?"

"No! You use womans!"

I looked at her. "Uh, nooo, I use the _mens_ room. Because, you know, I'm uh, _male._ Comprende?"

"You woman! You use womans!"

I hate my life. I really, really do. "Do you want proof? 'Cause I can just...whip it out and show you, if that's what you want."

It was then that I heard the snickering coming from behind the rack of shoes to our right, and I knew that this poor woman was put up to the job of harassing me.

"I hate you, I really fucking-holy fuck, what the shit are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know... same thing as you, I suppose."

"You just randomly decided that you'd skip school and travel across the country to come harass me?"

"Nah, I already got out, bro. We get out earlier than you losers."

"What. The. Fuck."

"Yeah... me an' Rox here are all gradumacated and shizz."

"Well that's great, but I got bit by a radioactive spider, so..."

"What?"

"I really need to take a piss. So if you'd kindly unhand me?" I asked. The redhead was, after all, latched onto me. It was mildly annoying.

"Oh...and here I thought you were just happy to see me. I'm hurt," he said, snickering as he shoved me towards the bathroom.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Sora, we've got gingers on our tail," I whispered into the brunette's ear. He jumped.<p>

"Don't do that! Geesh," he said, holding a hand over his heart. "Now what's this about gingers?"

"Axel ambushed me near the bathrooms. I managed to evade him," I said, glancing around. "But Kairi's here now too." I had witnessed the second fire-crotched demon coming into the store whilst clothing-rack hopping.

"Sora? Riku?"

"Shit! Get down!" I said, shoving Sora's head down and kneeling behind the random island of aisle. "Act natural."

"How am I supposed to act natural like this? I swear, I am never letting you have coffee again, Ri-"

"What are you guys doing?" Kairi asked, kneeling down beside us.

"Hiding from a firecrotch and blond duo," I said, sneaking a peak above the boxes of cereal. I caught sight of one of Axel's spikes and ducked back down.

"Why?"

"Because one is going to pester me to death, and the other is Sora's cousin, who is like a more verbal Cloud in the bitchy department," I said, shoving her head back down from where she'd attempted to take a peak.

Sora jumped up suddenly. "HEY GUYS, HE'S OVER HERE!"

"Ahhh, bitch!" I groaned, somersaulting across the path and into the depths of a circular little girl's clothing rack.

"Riku, I know your mom used to dress you in this stuff, but that's no reason for you to try and go back to it," Axel said, as he dragged me out of the confines of my hideout like a little kid. For all that he was the least muscular looking guy I knew, he was actually pretty strong... I was by no means light.

"Hey, asshole, I told you not to talk about that," I said, squirming, and flailing wildly as I was dragged by the armpits through the store.

"Dang, I didn't know you had such a nice stomach, Riku," Roxas said, petting my stomach as we walked, because Axel is a whore who drags poor innocent boys through Walmart with their shirts riding up and exposing their tummies.

What a whore.

Sora at this point was looking like he might smack a ho,- or maybe just Roxas,- judging from how his cheeks puffed up. Roxas glanced over at him. "Relax, Sora, I'm not going to steal your boy toy away from you," he said, rolling his eyes. "I don't like blonds-no offense, Riku."

I shrugged. "None taken," I said. I wasn't really sure how my hair qualified as 'blond' as it was more like straight up silver, but...eh. Whatever.

Sora's cheeks deflated slightly, but he still flashed me what was a rather weak glare.

"So, um...who's she?" Axel asked, jerking his head at Kairi.

"Oh, that's just Kairi."

"What do you mean, _just_ Kairi?" She asked, kicking me in the side. I'm so abused.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Kairi. I'm Axel, and the blondie is Roxas," Axel said, grinning. He finally decided to drop me, and when I say drop, I mean drop.

"It's nice to meet you, too," she said, grinning. "I remember Roxas, of course."

"Oh! Geez, I didn't even recognize you! Your hair is so long," Roxas said, running his fingers through it to strengthen his point.

"Yeah.. I grew it out," she said, giggling. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah, it looks great, Kairi," he said, grinning.

This time, it was Axel's turn to be a massive fuming ball of jealousy, as he watched the item of his affections fawn over a girl.

"So, Kairi, how are you and Yuffie doing?"

"Oh, we're doing great. I met her dad last weekend," she said, smiling.

"Oh? What's he like?"

"He's...really weird. I know where Yuffie gets it, now."

"So I take it he knows Yuffie's gay, then?"

"Huh? Oh, duh. Apparently he knew it from the day she was born," Kairi said, shrugging. "I'm not sure if he approves of me or not."

"Whoa, Kairi, I didn't know you were a dyke," Roxas said, laughing. "I so called it! Didn't I, Sora?"

"Uh, yeah... I guess you did, didn't you?"

* * *

><p>"So, where are you guys staying?"<p>

"Dad's," Roxas said, shrugging. "It's not like they're home anyways."

"Oh, that's right...they're on a business trip right?"

"Yeah, somewhere in Nevada, I think."

Sora nodded, leaning into me slightly more. Throughout the night he'd been slowly inching closer and closer. "Jesus, Sora," I said, grabbing him and putting him into my lap like I knew he wanted. "You don't have to try and sneak up on my lap. It's not a rabbit."

Sora puffed out his cheeks at me, to which I responded by flicking him on the nose. "Jerk."

I shrugged. "So how's Larxene and the rest of the crew?"

"Well, Larxene managed to get expelled the week before school let out," Axel said, rolling his eyes. "Some dumb bitch accused her of sexually assaulting her in the bathroom."

Which would never happen, because Larxene didn't use public restrooms. She didn't think they were worthy of her use.

"And everyone else in the bathroom at the time said Larxene had just walked in to wash her hands and that girl started pestering her, so Larxene walked the fuck out," he finished, shaking his head. "Girls can be so fucking stupid." We all nodded our agreements, even Kairi and Yuffie, who were sprawled out on a bean bag in the corner of my room. "Anyways, she's been banging some pink haired guy-I _think_ it's a guy, anyways. You never really know with Larxene. Oh, and Xion's been doing Xion-y things. I'm not really sure what's up with her," he said, shrugging. "Haven't really seen or heard much from her since school ended."

"Huh, that's weird," I said, blinking. "We should call her and see what's up."

I pulled my phone out of where it resided within Sora's (really my) hoodie pocket and pressed the 'X' key.

_"hehe, quit,"_ Xion's phone voice said, and we heard some rustling. _"Sorry, what's up, Riku?"_

"Uh...I don't know, just wondering what was up with you? Ax and Rox said they hadn't heard much from you," I said, blinking.

_"Oh, yeah,"_ she paused, muttering a 'stop that, I'm trying to have a conversation' under her breath. _"I've just, uh, been...you know, with someone."_

"So I could tell. You gonna spill?"

_"Depends,"_ she said. _"Am I on speaker phone?"_

"...no..."

_"Ugh...I guess it doesn't matter, they'll find out soon enough..."_ She said, and I could hear her smacking someone's hands away. _"Ugh... I have to go, I'll text you, okay?"_

"Uh...okay."

* * *

><p>"Riku," Sora whispered, looking at me. I could just vaguely make out the outline of his hair and the whites of his eyes in the dark.<p>

"Yeah?"

"You don't have feelings for Roxas or Axel, right?"

"No, geez, Sora. Do you really not trust me that much?"

"Well... it's not that I don't trust you, it's just..."

"Sora...you don't have anything to worry about," I said, running my fingers through his hair and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I'm not attracted to anyone other than you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I-thank you, Riku."

I grinned and pressed my forehead to his.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Xion totally didn't text him. Just saying. xD  
>Also, sorry for the late update. I was busy doing...I honestly don't remember. Whoa. Weird. Anyways, off to do pointless homework! yayyyyy!<br>**

****dearlybelovedangel: thank you! He's probably my most well developed character in all fanfictions I've written. o.0

RikuObsession (): xD you're totally right.  
>I don't know how <em>anyone<em> can dislike Axel's hips. Good luck with that. xD  
>I do get attacked by random stray (and not stray) cats. All the time. D: I'm a cat magnet. It's kinda bad.<br>But you wouldn't really be able to function at night. There's no sunshine. D":  
>I can't dance either. I try to. I look like a total derp. Or I'll be a troll and start dancing off beat to piss off my friend who usually winds up as the one dancing with me. I'm a horrible friend.<p>

egyptian1995: Or is he? DUN DUN DUN. 


	25. Merkin

**A/N: Warning; this chapter contains Roxas and Axel which means there is a discussion about Axel's firecrotch. **

* * *

><p>"Hey, Riku?"<p>

"What's up, So-so?" I asked, flopping down into the chair next to him.

"I don't understand any of this."

I glanced down at the text book. AP Health. "Alright... so what are you having trouble with?"

"I don't even...these diagrams make no sense to me."

"Okay... well..." I grabbed his notebook and pencil, drawing a blob-ish man from the front and another from the back. "Alright. So this guy who's facing us? We see his front-that's what anterior means," I said, circling the guy. I glanced up at him. "And this guy? Well he's got a rear end, so he's showing us his posterior." I then drew a line down the center. "That's the medial, or middle. Obviously."

"What about distal?"

"Distal means furthest from the nearest attachment-so your shin is the most distant part of your leg from the hips. Proximal is the opposite of that."

"Oh."

"That help?"

Sora smiled up at me. "Yeah-you're really good at this kind of thing, Ri-ri."

I shrugged. "I've taken a lot of anatomy and physiology classes."

"No, I mean teaching in general," he said, shaking his head. "You'd be really good at it."

"I hate everyone else too much."

"You hate me?"

"No, Sora..." I sighed. "I hate everyone _else_. As in, everyone but you."

"Whatever. You so don't."

I rolled my eyes and ruffled his hair, much to his chagrin.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Riku?"<p>

I glanced over at the blond in my bed.

"Do you think Axel likes me?"

I stared at him like I stare at my cat when she bites her own tail and screeches.

"I mean like...really, really like me. More than just for a quick fuck in a closet."

"I didn't want to know that."

"Just answer the question," Roxas said, rolling around helplessly.

"I think he's been madly in love with you since you finally talked to him," I said, rolling my eyes.

Roxas glanced over at me, smiling slightly. "I always thought he was in love with you," he said, shaking his head. "I was so jealous of you."

"Nah... Axel and me are bathtub buddies."

Roxas raised an eyebrow.

"He's seen me naked more than you could ever hope to."

"Or want to," Roxas said, grimacing and covering his face with a pillow. "I think Xion gave up on me."

"Probably," I said, shrugging. "You've been going between them for so long, it doesn't surprise me she'd get bored with you."

"I think I'm her beard-wait, can lesbians have beards?"

"Um... that's a really good question..." I frowned and dialed Yuffie's number.

_"Hel-mfggggggullajhbga."_

"Hey Yuffie, I have a question that you might know the answer to for once," I asked once the weird gagging noise stopped. "If a lesbian dates a guy, is it still called a beard?"

_"Depends on who you ask," _ she said. _"Tifa calls them merkin."_

"Okay, cool. Thanks." I looked over at Roxas. "You ever heard of a pubic wig?"

"Oh god... what did I just walk in on?"

I glanced at the doorway. "Oh, hey Sora. We were just discussing what it's called when a lesbian dates guys," I said, as he flounced over to sit in my lap, sandwich in hand. Axel followed behind shortly and leaned against the wall next to my bed.

"Isn't it just a beard still?"

"Well some people call them merkin apparently," I said, taking a bite of Sora's sandwich. "Which if you think about it, is sort of like a fake beard for your junk."

"That's disgusting, Riku."

"Oh, shut up, fire crotch. That's disgusting."

"Yeah well at least mine matches!"

I stuck my tongue out at him. "You're just jealous because you're afraid of razors and I'm not."

"I'm, ah, trying to eat, guys."

"So?" Axel blankly stared at Sora. "I think we could all see that."

"He wants us to change the subject," I said, rolling my eyes. "You're so thick sometimes, Axel."

"Yeah, like my dick!"

Roxas and I each raised an eyebrow at him.

"Wha-oh come on! Fuck you guys."

* * *

><p>"So... this is it."<p>

"Huh?"

"Riku, it's...the last hour of our last day of highschool."

_Shit._

"Oh...that's great."

* * *

><p>"Riku, do you want to have an open house?"<p>

"I don't care."

"Ask Sora if he wants one, then," my mom said, rolling her eyes.

"Yo, Sora! You wanna have an open house?"

"Um...I don't know, do I?"

"I don't know, do you?"

"I don't...really see the point in having one."

"Okay," I said, shrugging and walking back into my mom's room. "He says there's not really a point to it."

"Okay."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: sorry this chapter is short and took so long to post. I'm currently attempting to rewrite my health occupations book-yeah, I have it's spirit week so I'm kinda busy cosplaying weasley children to mess with everyone.  
><strong>

Dearlybelovedangel: Sora is weird that way, lol. He's so innocent but jealous. XD Roxas is such a player.

Egyptian1995: Riku+coffee=bad idea D:  
>Yes, more Marluxia Cameo. And Xion's relationship is a mystery. As in, you'll find out when I manage to fit it into what's going on. XD<p>

Witch of Tragedies: lol. She's been banging Marluxia. What virginity? XD

Misunderstood Marvex: Don't deny the loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. XD There's nothing more romantic than a man and his tree.

RikuObsession (): Walmart angers my mom too much so we go to Krogers/Bakers (depending on where you live, the name is different). I troll them instead. By running into their displays with the cart. Herder.  
>Lol. I feel like Riku's mom would totally do that though. That's probably what caused all his problems in Kh. XD<br>I'm an awesome cook too. ;-; And yes, axel's hips /are/ epic. 8D  
>lol, I'm hypersensitive to drugs so a can of pop makes me flip out. Coffee...this kid can't have that anymore. D:<br>It isssssss. We're totes gonna troll the school on saturday. Also? I've taken to rewriting my textbooks (in sarcastic and mocking ways) rather than doing my homework. This is why teachers hate me. XD

Secret ninja (): lol. I like the name Yaag. Reminds me of yaak. XD  
>Why is your little brother reading teen rated soriku? ;-; Sorry about that, though, I guess.<p> 


	26. Disquieted

**A/N: dang it, line break, I wanted you below this...whatever. Just a heads up, this chapter is way more serious than the previous. Hope you like it anyways!**

* * *

><p>This was it. This was the day I'd pretended to look forward to everyday of my high school career. The day it all was officially over with.<p>

As my hat left my hand and Sora's tears of joy mixed with tears that I refused to shed, all I could feel was anxiety building up. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to go out into the world, and I wasn't ready to have Sora ripped away from me and taken into someone else's arms, and I wasn't ready to be alone, and I wasn't ready to move on, and I wasn't ready for any of this, _I wasn't fucking ready._

But it was already over, there was no going back and the tears that eventually did flow down my face were not tears of joy, but tears of panic and _shame_. I hid in the single-stall bathroom at the restaurant, staring at my hands every time I wiped away a tear in disbelief, because I simply didn't cry, ever, not where other people may have a chance to see me, and judge me, because I _wasn't_ weak, I was Riku, and I was not some wimp who bust out in tears in public restrooms.

It took me a while to get myself under control. I cleaned up and covered my face with my hair, and went back to the table.

"Oh, hey, Riku, I was starting to wonder if you'd fallen in," Axel said, grinning.

"Nah, unlike you, I don't sit down to piss," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Boys! Not at the table!"

Axel and I cringed. "Sorry, mom," we both said.

Sora's knee bumped mine from under the table. I glanced over at him and shrugged, stuffing a roll in my mouth so he wouldn't attempt to ask me what was wrong.

The last thing I needed was some sort of intervention during lunch (dinner? Linner?).

* * *

><p>"Why are you wearing a sweater? It's June, Riku."<p>

I glanced up at him and shrugged. "Cold."

"Then let's go _outside_," Sora said, rolling his eyes. "You know, where it's warm?"

"...Nah."

Sora frowned. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"...nothing, really. I don't know. Just... chill out."

"Riku... why won't you talk to me? You won't even look me in the eye- is there something I should know about?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, is there, Sora?"

"You're being an ass."

I needed to quit shrugging. It was getting annoying-I didn't feel like lifting and dropping my shoulders anymore. "Sorry."

Sora sighed.

He was losing his patience with me. I was annoying him. He was going to hate me.

"You relapsed, didn't you?"

I blinked, and glanced up at him questioningly.

"I'm not-I'm not blind, Riku. I've seen the scars."

_Shit._

"I'm not going to judge you, Riku- some people do it," he said, shaking his head. "That doesn't make it okay, but I'm not going to get made or hate you for trying to cope."

I was, of course, staring at my shoes because _dammit, _I didn't want anyone to know, and I didn't want any confrontational speeches, and _I didn't want this,_ but it was happening and just like everything else in my life, it wouldn't slow down, and I had no control, and I was going to fade away and become a far off memory in a dream no one really remembered that well, and no one would remember me, they'd all replace me and live happily ever after _without me_, because I was stupid and angsty and weak, filled with so much anxiety it showed all over my skin which broke and fell off and-

"Riku, do you want to talk about?"

"No, I'm okay, really. I'm just... a little under the weather, really," I said, forcing a grin that really made me feel worse, because holy shit I didn't deserve Sora, I was such a stupid little fuck, and how did I ever think that this would work out, he's way out of my league.

"I-I'm going to a local college," Sora said, biting his lip. "It'd be easier for me to take classes at the community college and then transfer, so..."

"So, you'll still leave me behind, won't you?"

"Riku, I-"

"You'll replace me, with someone a thousand times better, with less problems."

"Your problems are what make you special."

"No one likes someone who can't smile," I said, shaking my head and walking to the door. "You wanted to go outside?"

Sora frowned and followed me out.

* * *

><p>Today was June 17th, which was Sora's eighteenth birthday. Today, I forced myself to be a normal and functional human being.<p>

It was worth it to see him smile.

* * *

><p>I'm not sure what day it is, but I know it's been three days since I've eaten anything (a couple bites of a PB&amp;J), two weeks since I've made myself bleed, one week since I've intentionally burned myself, and one hour since I've talked to or seen Sora.<p>

I vaguely remember someone coming into my room. I'm not sure who or when it was, but they took me from my bed and now I'm here, for some reason I don't really know of. I'm guessing that from the steady beeping that's slowly giving me a migraine and the dead-white ceiling, I'm in the last place I want to be.

I want to go home.

* * *

><p>"Hey, you're awake!"<p>

I glanced over at the offender to my silence. A girl (woman, really) with long brown hair and green eyes smiled at me from a bed a few feet away. "Um...yeah."

"My name's Aerith," she said. "I've been waiting for you to wake up. You've been asleep all day."

"Uh...and what day would that be?"

"It's July, uh...second."

"...right."

"There was a boy here," she said, smiling slightly. "He told me if you woke up while he was gone that he went home to feed Otty, and that he'd be back soon."

"Oh."

"He really cares about you-he didn't tell me to tell you that, but it was written all over his face," she said. "You should be more careful next time."

"I didn't really do anything."

Aerith frowned. "Is Otty a dog or a person?"

"Cat."

"Oh. Oh! I...you...he didn't seem like much of a cat person."

"He's not. She was a stray I picked up."

"You have a good heart," she said, smiling. "I can tell you do; you're a beautiful person. You just need direction in your life, don't you?"

I glanced over at her, eyebrow raised. "And how, pray-tell, do you figure that?"

"I see a lot of kids like you here," she said, shaking her head. "You get out of school, and you don't have anywhere to go or anything to be, so you just stop living-but you pull through with time and help."

"...yeah."

"He said you have a lot of problems," she said, examining her hands and looking back up at me with a smile. "But even if you do, I know you'll be okay, because he'll be there."

"Until he leaves."

"How do you know he will?"

"Most relationships don't last," I said. "Especially not for people like me."

"Maybe...you just need to have some hope," she said."Don't take your life for granted, it won't last forever, Riku." I opened my mouth to ask how she knew my name, but she suddenly looked towards the door, just as Sora came bursting through and threw himself at me.

"Riku! I was so worried," he said, burying his face into my neck. "You were all like dead and stuff and your mom flipped out and took you to the hospital and we were so worried because they say you were really dehydrated."

"Um...sorry..."

"You need to drink water! You are not a camel. You do not have weird growth things that store water."

"That's what you think."

"Was that... was that... oh my god, you made a joke! You're Riku again!" Sora said, squealing like a little girl and kissing me roughly on the mouth.

"If I make more crappy jokes, will you do that again?"

Sora giggled and kissed me again, lightly this time.

Then I remembered Aerith, and glanced over at the other bed.

There wasn't anyone in the other bed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Don't worry, he's going to be okay again soon. I think.**

dearlybelovedangel:I like messing with their names, lol. It's so easy to make them cutesy. xD  
>Unfortunately the end is in the near future, yes, but I'm not entirely sure when or where this story will be wrapped up. I'll let you know when I know.<p>

egyptian1995: I like my AP health occ class,(the book is horrible, though) my other AP classes (that I didn't even know where AP classes until a month ago, herpderp) are taught by the same guy and I'm not particularly fond of them...  
>Er, anyways...<br>I enjoy writing these guys' conversations. They're a fun group. :] I'm glad you like to read them. :D  
>And here's that next bit, lol.<p>

**Thanks for putting up with this chapter. Hope you liked it!**


	27. Immaculate

For a week or so after we got home, Sora freaked out every time I didn't wake up right away in the mornings. He then made me drink a glass of water and eat some random food, until my body became accustomed to the routine.

* * *

><p>"Riku!" Sora said, shaking me gently. "It's almost four."<p>

I blinked awake, smiling and pulling him into the bed with me so I could nuzzle his head and latch onto him like an attention starved kitten.

Sora giggled and rested his forehead against my own. "Get up, you silly goose," he said, smiling. "We're supposed to be there at five."

"Mmm, just let me cuddle you for a little longer," I said, kissing him on the nose.

"Yeah, and then you'll just want to cuddle the whole hour away," Sora said, shoving me away with a grin. "C'mon, get up. You need a shower, don't you?"

"Nah, I showered this morning," I said, burying my face in the crook of his neck.

"Well you have to get dressed," he said, trailing his fingers through my hair which miraculously never tangled.

"That won't take me an hour," I said, kissing the warm skin exposed by the blue tank-top he wore. "It only takes ten minutes to get there."

"Riku, don't you dare bite me," he said, letting out little gasps when I kissed and nipped at the flesh on his neck.

"I won't leave a mark," I said, grinning against his skin.

"Yeah, right- just like you swore you wouldn't last time?"

"Yep," I said, chuckling as he shoved me back onto the bed, laying on top of me and trailing his finger up my chest.

"Well, maybe I should bite _you,_ and see how _you _ like having people make fun of you all week," he said, smiling mischievously.

I raised an eyebrow. "Go for it," I said. "But I'm not responsible for what I may do to you after wards."

Sora rolled his eyes and shoved off me, walking over to the dresser, pulling out a pair of shorts and a black wife-beater and chucking them at me. I caught them (with my face) and sighed as I tore off the shirt I was currently wearing.

"Ahhh! Don't change here! Bathroom, Riku! Bathroom!"

I blinked. "Uh...you've seen me naked before, Sora," I said, brow furrowed.

"But- but that was different!"

"I'm not going into the bathroom just to put on clothes- and how is this any worse or different from the locker room in aquatics?"

"Because you're- shut up and put a shirt on."

I rolled my eyes. "When did you get to be more prudish than you were this morning?"

"I'm not prudish!"

I shot him a look of disbelief and pulled the shirt over my head and put on the shorts. "There-happy?"

Sora puffed out his cheeks and nodded. I rolled my eyes and sauntered over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He turned around so he was facing me, running his fingers down the stripes on the shirt absentmindedly.

"What's on your mind, sugar-plum?"

"I...does being affectionate bother you?"

"Um...no? I'm always touching you, aren't I?"

"Well yeah...but I mean like, does it bother you when I touch you, or do things to you?"

"Depends on what you mean by that," I said, smirking.

"Oh my god-" Sora shoved me away, shaking his head. "Can't you be serious for five seconds of your life?"

"Yeah, I can-but I don't like to be."

"Just...answer my question," he said, sighing.

"I kind of did- I _like_ when you touch me, but you never go through with things," I said, chuckling lightly. "So it's really not a big deal, I guess."

"What if... what if I wanted to?"

I blinked. "Well I wouldn't complain, if that's what you're asking."

"But... it wouldn't... trigger anything weird, would it?"

"Um, no? I mean, it'd be a lot different than what happened."

"Oh...okay..."

* * *

><p>I wasn't a fan of fourth of July; It was loud and there was a lot of people. Fireworks hurt my eyes, and their sound made me jump like a war veteran.<p>

So, naturally, I went to a fourth of July party at Tidus' house with Sora. By the time it got dark, the vast majority of the attendees were wasted, to the point where they had no recollection of what day it was.

And that, surprisingly, included Sora.

How did that happen? Well, someone handed us both a beer as we walked into the backyard, and Sora apparently didn't know what it was. I drained mine as well, but beer tasted like piss and I didn't really feel like getting drunk- it took way too much for me to get so much as buzzed anymore-so I didn't take another.

Sora didn't need another.

* * *

><p>At some point during the night, Sora did drink more. And so by the time I dragged him home, he was completely shit-faced. It was kind of weird; because a drunk Sora was oddly akin to a happy Roxas, which only occurred when Roxas was horny.<p>

So basically Sora was trying to get in my pants every five seconds.

It was weird. I didn't like it. I slept on the couch.

* * *

><p>Sora woke up sometime around nine in the morning, which was ungodly even though I was sober, and I learned that Sora is one of those freaks of nature who don't get hungover.<p>

"Hey, Riku, what are you doing out here?" he asked, peering over the couch.

"You were drunk as balls," I said, stretching. "You're creepy when you're drunk."

"Ahhh, no way!" Sora said, frowning. "What did I do?"

I rolled my eyes, pulling him down onto the couch with me. "Doesn't matter," I said into his hair.

"But I wanna know!"

"And I wanna sleep. So nehhh," I said, burying my face into his shoulder.

Sora squirmed out of my grip and pulled on my arm futilely. "Ri-ri, go sleep in the bed," he said, now prodding my face repetitively.

I groaned and stood up, tackling him and half-dragging him to the room with me, kicking the door closed behind me. I collapsed onto the bed, forcing Sora to go down as well and laying half on top of him.

"Riku, you're squishing me," he said, giggling.

"Too bad," I said. "You're comfortable."

"I'm gonna be a pancake if you keep this up."

"Sora pancake. Synonymous with adorable and cuddly."

Sora puffed out his cheeks. "Is not."

"Is too."

"I don't wanna be adorable," he said.

"Any other adjective I use to describe you would earn a knee in an uncomfortable spot."

"Like what?"

"Beautiful, sexy, hot, cute, gorgeous," I said, lifting myself off him to plant kisses along his face. "Should I continue?"

"Words are overrated," he said, smiling and planting his hands on either side of my face, pulling me down to his lips. "I'd rather you show me."

To be honest, I paused for a good fifteen seconds, expecting tentacles to sprout, or for him to suddenly laugh and shove me away, and I'm pretty sure he noticed my hesitation, but I didn't let him say anything about it; because after that fifteen second pause, I decided that this was real and he wasn't just being a tease, and sealed his lips with mine.

* * *

><p>I chickened out.<p>

I did. I admit it. I ran away and hid in a closet for half an hour. We hadn't even gotten very far, I just managed to fuck it up and ran away because suddenly Sora wasn't Sora, Sora was so many different people and _holy shit, _ I was hallucinating, and the walls were closing in, and there was nothing I could do; so I ran, and locked myself away, slid against the wall and held my head in my hands and tried to just _breathe, Riku, breathe,_ so I didn't have a panic attack on top of a shelf in a closet, amongst clothes I never wore and art supplies I'd gotten but never used.

And I managed to calm down, with time, and slowly was able to pry myself off the shelf, to be greeted by Sora who grinned and took me into his arms like I hadn't just left him high and dry; like I hadn't just ran the fuck away like a wuss, like I hadn't just freaked out. Instead he just held onto me, completely calm and with an air of understanding, and you know what?

I didn't deserve him.

And I told him that, but he disagreed, because he said he didn't care if I wasn't ready, that he'd wait, and I felt like some fifteen year old girl with her first long-term boyfriend telling her that he'd wait for her, wait until marriage if he had to, and I felt my stomach drop, because I knew how that ended, nine times out of ten. The boyfriend didn't keep his promise, because the boyfriend could get some from some other floozy, and the girl sat there, alone, wondering if she should have just not been so hesitant, and what would have happened if she had just given herself to him, but it was _too late_ and he was _gone, _ off with another girl and she was _alone_, and so next time she swore that if she was asked, she would, she'd throw herself away and regret it the rest of her life because she _fucked up,_ because that boy left her too, and she felt used; abused; hung out to dry in the sun and screwed until dawn.

I didn't share that with him, of course, only murmuring my thanks and resting my head on the shoulder I was sure would one day leave me, abandon me, throw me away like a wrapper, a piece of garbage that would forever pollute the earth, a worthless entity that had served it's purpose and therefore existed on without purpose; I was nothing in comparison to him, he was the sun and I, the moon, only wanting to bask in his sunlight, to keep him from the earth and it's inhabitants.

"Riku," he cooed, running his hands through my hair. "You're going to hurt yourself."

I hadn't noticed that I was tearing the skin of my arm off with my fingernails, nor that I was biting my lips until they had begun to bleed, but I had, and I recoiled from him, because I couldn't stand to taint him anymore with my blood, my body, my skin cells that sloughed off onto his; I couldn't stand to do this anymore, because he was _so damn perfect_ and I was naught but a used-up five dollar whore; unable to even do his job and bring pleasure to those who asked; and I _didn't deserve him._

"I'm sorry," I said, chuckling slightly. "Really- I'm so stupid; I can't even-god. Why are you so- why are you still here?"

Sora blinked. "I...do you want me to leave..?" he asked, swallowing thickly.

I shook my head, "no, never," I said, taking his hand in mine. "I just don't know how someone as perfect as you can stand to be with such a waste of flesh."

"You aren't a waste of flesh," he said, frowning and resting a hand against my face. "I'm not perfect, either."

I shook my head, smiling slightly, because he didn't realize just how wrong he was; because deep down I truly was, and he truly was more perfect than any of us here. "Are you an angel, or am I just the devil?"

"I don't even know what that pickup line was meant to get you," Sora said, raising an eyebrow. "But the answer is no; I'm secretly a tentacle monster with bright pink fur, and you're a mermaid."

"Why am I a mermaid?"

"I don't know-that's not the point," he said, smiling. "The point is, I don't care what you are, I'm still going to love you."

I blinked. How do I respond to something like that? Do I thank him, or say it back or-I pressed my lips to his forehead.

"And I really will wait for you," Sora said. "Even if one day you don't want to do this one day, I'll still be here, because no matter what, you're my best friend first."

"I don't deserve someone like you," I whispered, resting my forehead against his. "And I'll never leave you." _Because you'll be the one to leave me, _I added in my head.

"Riku," he reached for my hands. "Do you love me?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"The kind that requires an answer."

"I've loved you for a long time, Sora."

"Thank you."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: -shot-  
>Oh yeah, and if you guys are interested, I have a new story going. It's from Xion's P.O.V., and it's filled with seriousness. Also, it's xinami. If you like that kind of thing, check it out! It's called Transcend.<strong>

****dearlybelovedangel: I'm about to experience the last day in a few months. I'm totally not looking forward to being surrounded by crying people. xD  
>Well-it's always good to have someone remind you that you aren't a camel. There should be a profession for that. Sora would be a pro at it.<p>

WolfPacFaan: Thank you, I'm glad you like it! :)  
>Riku has a fear of tentacles because...let's face it, the fear is completely justified, lol. And he needed some more quirks anyways, so why not? :D<p>

Rikuobsession (): lol, yeah... XD I'm a pro at that part of it.  
>Pffft. my mom ran into a basket of lemons and limes. And she says I can't steer carts... shot/  
>lol, Riku's mom is silly. Poor Riku. xD<br>So awesome. :D  
>I live off sugar. Even if I can't actually taste it anymore. I'm like L, just more normal. :D<br>pfff. I'm too lazy to carry my text books around. I gave up. XD  
>I'll be graduated on June 3rd of this year, actually. D: So only a few months left of high school and then I'm off to vocational school. xD I used to play string instruments. Then I switched schools and they didn't have orchestra, so now I don't play any. Just as well, though, because I can't read notes or tabs. herder.<br>Ohno. He deff got hip implants. XD

egyptian1995: haha, yep, midlife crisis. xD He /should/ be okay. No promises though-those cliffs just sneak up on you sometimes. D:

SadieMarie: I'm so glad you like it! :D I hope you continue to enjoy it. :3

**Ending my author's notes with bold text makes me feel important. I don't really have anything important to say here, though. **


	28. Stargaze

**A/N: I'm going to warn you guys now. This is not something you should read if you wanted something carefree. Also, this might be really confusing if you don't read really carefully. Even then, you'll probably be confused. **

* * *

><p>The world felt wrong.<p>

When I woke up early, before even the sun rose, I felt something in the pit of my stomach that told me today was _wrong,_ that today was bad, something would happen and it would be horrible, everything was about to go terribly wrong, the metaphorical shit was about to hit the equally metaphorical fan, and today was a good day to hole up in a bunker somewhere and just breathe, just hold onto what life we had left and wait out the bad vibes.

When he woke up, I begged him not to go; to call into work sick because I _knew_ something was terribly wrong in the universe, but he wouldn't listen. He didn't listen. I told him not to go, I warned him- - but my advice was not taken, it was cast aside, and I _knew,_ I just _knew,_ that this was all going to fall apart, crumble on top of us, and _holy fucking shit,_ I was not okay with that, not okay _at all _ with that, freaking out crazy not okay, out of my mind with anxiety and fear and despair, but _he didn't listen to me, _and he went- -_he left me- _-and I told him not to go, I _told_ him today was no good, that I had a really bad feeling and I urged him to just stay, but he wouldn't, he _couldn't_, he didn't, and now he's gone and I should have tried harder, I should have been there, and oh god why wasn't I there and why didn't anyone tell me, why didn't the _call_ me, -why didn't they take **me** instead?

* * *

><p>The news reporter came onto the TV at her regularly scheduled time and he wasn't home, - it was six and <em>he wasn't back yet<em> - and I froze because she was talking and I _knew_ what she was telling the camera, what she was telling_ me_, before she said it because I had _felt_ it earlier, my heart shattering, and he was gone, the sun was _gone_, and I sat there on the couch, the moon who lost the sun, and I wasn't even listening anymore, just sitting, staring, as the world collapsed on and around me while the bottle-blond reporter spoke:

_"Today, a semi-truck driver fell asleep at the wheel, resulting in the fatality of two local teens, an 18-year-old boy and a 19-year old girl. We have been asked by the family of the girl not to disclose the names of the victims- - -"_

Because I already knew.

* * *

><p>Somehow I found myself laying on a rock formation, my memory fuzzy as I tried to recall how I had gotten there, and <em>where<em> was there? But no matter what I did, the ghostly hands that poked and prodded and caressed would not tell me what happened, and I'm not sure if they were pulling me in or pushing me away, but then I was so _cold_, and the sun had gone away, something walked across me and I was one with the earth again, an earth without a sky, because my sky was killed, too - obliterated by mankind, too, - never again to be with me, I was suffocating and it felt so surreal, like a bad trip or weird dream but I wasn't drugged nor asleep, - I was _dying_, because there was nothing there for me anymore, they took everything from me - first my tree and now my sun, and who was I to stay?

My life held no meaning without the sky, and so I was transfixed by the hands that were attached to nothing, the disembodied voices that murmured in my ears; some greeting and others telling me to _run, run away from this place,_ and I felt that I was gone already, that it was too late, but I heeded their advice anyway, and I ran, ran, _ran,_ until the mountains and their spirits were below the horizon, and I ran and ran forever, it seemed, and my heart was racing, I was so sure that the next step would be my last, the next breath my final, and I would soon die, - but I fell and my face hit concrete, and he was _there,_ I could feel it, and I wanted so desperately to find him but I _couldn't move anymore,_ my body was jelly on the sidewalk, and I think someone may have stepped on me, but I didn't really care anymore, because I was the earth still, meant to be walked all over and just lie there and take it, just like I'd always done, and - - -

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Am I...okay..?"

"You don't look okay."

"I don't...look okay."

"Yeah- you're definitely not okay. Alright - well I guess you chose a great place to be not okay," he said, and suddenly I was flying, gliding, and hitting things- _ow_ - and then I was floating; and warmth was spreading through my frigid skin again, and I thought for sure that I had died, but that didn't make any sense-why would I be so comfortable? I couldn't go to heaven; not someone as dirty and worthless as me, - but I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't move anything, really, and it was starting to bother me. "Hey-I need to know if you took anything," the voice said again.

"I...no," I managed, my voice a hoarse whisper that I'm not sure he heard.

And the warmth left my throat and moved to my jaw, prying it open and pouring something cool down it, something sweet, and another hand coaxed me to swallow, and I did; and then my eyelids were forced open, something that stung with cold dropped in them and I blinked rapidly; I could move enough to grimace. "Shh... it's just saline," the voice said, petting my hair back from my face. "You're so young- don't throw your life away."

_"Don't take your life for granted, it won't last forever, - - - -." _

"Aerith?" I asked, my voice slightly less hoarse. The room was starting to make sense again-not so blurry or spinning.

The hands that had been running through my hair paused for a second, as if I'd shocked them. "My name is Zack," the voice said, and resumed the motion of his hands.

"...Zack."

"Do you-do you remember your name?"

"I-" I couldn't- who was I? "Where's Sora?"

"Sora? Who's Sora?"

"Sora... is the sky," I said, smiling.

"Okaaaaay," Zack said. "And who are _you?_"

"I'm... I'm the earth," I said. "And the sky is dying."

"No, I think _you're_ the one dying, here, kid."

"Am I?" I asked. "I guess-I guess I am, aren't I?"

"Don't be...don't be so pessimistic-you're young. You'll-you'll pull through."

_"Maybe...you just need to have some hope." _

"There's no hope for someone like me," I said, frowning. "I'm sorry, Aerith- I told you I wouldn't last without him." _"I know you'll be okay, because he'll be there." _

"How do you-why do you keep saying her name?"

"Because she keeps talking to me," I said, furrowing my brow. "Why else?"

"She can't- Aerith's been dead for years," Zack said, frowning. "She couldn't possibly be talking to you."

* * *

><p>"Hey, kid," Zack said, nudging me from where I was laying on the floor. "Quit pretending to be dead. You're still alive."<p>

"Why?"

"Don't-don't ask why," he said, scowling. "Because I brought your ass back from the brink of death."

"Why?"

"Come on, kid, get off the floor," he said, yanking on my arm.

I think I've been there for five days. Zack leaves at about dusk and returns sometime around dawn, and we'd fallen into a sort of routine,- he'd poke and prod me and tell me to come down from wherever I'd found myself (or up, in this case) and then he'd make some sort of meal; usually noodle or rice based, and almost always with tomatoes, because Zack said they prevented cancer, and he dealt with cancer a lot, because he worked in a hospital, and that's what Aerith died from.

This morning was no different, as once he managed to get me to quit planking on his floor, he set off to the kitchen to make what he called spaghetti rice, but that didn't really make sense to me because there wasn't any noodles in it, and I knew spaghetti was the noodles, not the sauce, but I didn't bother to correct him, because I had a feeling he didn't really care to know.

Sometimes I would find myself correcting him on things, and he would get this look like I'd mortally wounded his pride, like a kicked puppy, and I'd feel really bad- but then I realized that I was right so I didn't feel bad about it, and the apology I muttered was generally empty.

While the food was cooking, I would watch in amusement as Zack ran around the house, doted on me, and did ungodly amounts of squats once he was convinced there was nothing he could do for me at the moment and the food wasn't done.

Today I decided to mimic his energetic behaviour, just to see what he'd do, so when he was in the midst of doing his fifteenth (out of probably two hundred) squat, I walked over and started to do squats next to him.

"Hey-what're you doing? You should be resting!" He said, flailing.

I flailed back at him. "What are _you _doing? _You _ should be resting!"

"Hey, now- I'm not the one who- oh, I get it- you wanna play this game, kid?"

"Hey now, I'm not the one who, oh, I get it, _you_ wanna play this game, _kid?_"

Zack scowled. "I like to suck dick."

"_I _like to suck dick."

"I like men."

"_I_ like men."

"Women are gross."

"Women are gross."

"I'm gay."

"I'm pansexual."

"I-HA. HA! I got you! HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?"

"I like them apples a whole lot. In bed. Just... unf."

Zack stared at me for a second before breaking out in laughter. "You crack me up, kid," he said, slapping me on the back. "Where'd you learn stuff like that?"

I frowned, shrugging. I still couldn't really remember much- occasional flashes of a boy that made my chest hurt, and sometimes certain smells would remind me of people I couldn't remember, or I'd hear a familiar voice in the back of my head, but nothing concrete, nothing that told me what had happened to lead me here, to have me almost die on Zack's doorstep.

"Well, whatever, I guess- food's done," he said, prancing out into the kitchen which was attached to the rest of the flat, excluding the bathroom and bedrooms which were separate.

He dished out two plates of the tomato-sauce covered rice and some green beans, handing one to me and attacking his own with a fork. I was much less enthusiastic about eating, - probably because I didn't really do much of anything during the day, _ever_, because Zack still insisted that I was in fragile condition, so I was condemned to his apartment, - so I sat down at the table and _then_ started shoveling the warm rice dish and green vegetables into my mouth.

"So... learn anything interesting from the floor?"

"Your ceiling is different colours depending on what room you're in," I said, studying the table grain. "Though it's all still white."

"...interesting," he said, brow furrowing slightly. "And is that... a major discovery?"

"Not really," I said, shrugging. "It amused me for about five seconds after I realized it, but then I was bored again."

"So did you just travel from room to room and stare at the ceilings?"

"No, I suddenly developed the ability to astral project."

"Whoa, really?"

"No."

"Oh..." he frowned for a second. "Anything come back to you yet?"

"No-I had a dream about a tree," I said, shrugging.

"You know, the day I found you," he said, twirling his fork. "We'd had two kids die."

"How'd they die?"

"A semi truck _driver fell asleep at the wheel, resulting in the fatality of two local teens, an 18-year-old boy and a 19-year old girl. We have been asked by the family of the girl not to disclose the names of the victims- - -_ and we thought for sure they were gonna die-hell, one of them did, twice, but we got 'im back- _We've just been notified that the two teens are not, in fact, dead, but are in critical condition. We apologize for this misunderstanding- _- - and once they woke up after surgery they were okay by some miracle."

My head hurt.

I'm not sure what was happening, but all the sudden my head was throbbing and all these voices filled it, drowning out what Zack was saying, but there was one that reached above the rest.

_"Riku, you're going to hurt yourself." _

I'm pretty sure I screamed. I'm pretty sure Zack flipped out and jumped into action, flailing and trying to make me stop, because he didn't know what was happening, and was it something he'd said?but I couldn't be sure, because my head was filled with _him,_ and he was overwhelming me, and I couldn't see anything and-

_"Riku! Are you okay? Should I get your mom?" _

_ "You're being a jerkface, Ri-ri." _

_ "Why do I have to be the mom?" _

_ "What does ese mean?" _

"Kid! Kid! Can you hear me? Wake up!"

I made a weird gasp-like noise as a cold water was dumped over me, effectively waking me up. "Wha-_Sora._"

"Sora? Who's Sora?"

"I have to find him," I said, shoving Zack off me and running for the door.

"Hey! Get back here-" Zack yelled, but I was already out of the apartment, making my way to the street.

* * *

><p>I pounded on the door.<p>

"Hello-Riku? What are you-Where on earth have you been?"

I didn't answer, looking over the redhead's head and searching for the brunette who'd plagued my mind since I left Zack's apartment, or maybe before that, maybe he'd been there the whole time but I hadn't remembered it.

"Hey! Answer me!" Kairi said, snapping her fingers.

"Is he here? Kairi-he's here, right? Please tell me he's here," I said, frantically searching her face, as if it would give me an answer magically.

"You answer me first-where the hell have you been?"

"I don't know- now is he?"

"Kairi? Who's at the door?"

"Sora!"

"It's-"

"R-riku!"

Sora came running to the door, shoving Kairi out of the way, and jumping at me. "Where have you been? I looked everywhere for you!"

"I- a lot of places," I said, once he let up the shower of kisses he was covering my face with.

"Oh my god, we thought you were dead! We both saw the news at work, and then you weren't at home, and no one had seen you-"

"I saw the news too," I said.

"That's nice and all, you two, but _where the fuck have you been?_"

"The funny thing is, I really can't remember," I said.

I had never once asked where Zack lived; I hadn't once looked at where his apartment was when I left; I had been dead-set on one single thing; and that one single thing was-

"I'm so glad you're here, too," Sora said, tears suddenly flowing down his cheeks.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Riku? Can we go home now?"<p>

I bit my lip. "I'd love to, Sora, but I have no clue where our home is," I said, glancing at him. _Because you are my home._

He grinned. "Don't worry, I know how to get there," he said, taking my hand.

I was expecting us to walk down the street, but I realized then that our hands were... disappearing. And you know what?

I was okay with that.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Are you confused? You should be.  
><strong>

dearlybelovedangel: I'm glad you like them- personally I hate writing more serious lines, because they remind me too much of me. If that made sense whatsoever. xD

SadieMarie: lol, riku in a closet... lol... Uh.. anyway, I'm glad you liked it. :3

Rikuobsession (): I'm assuming this was you, but it wasn't signed- login problems attack you too? xD  
>I might do a few chapters from Sora's POV if I manage to write them in Sora-y language. I'm bad at writing as Sora. BUT I SWEAR ON ALL THAT IS GOOD ON THIS EARTH THAT I WILL TRY MY BEST. shot  
>Michigan is stupid and requires drivers ed, so this kid doesn't get his license until he's 18 D:<br>lolol, yeah that'd be bad. Riku's mom would probably be tone deaf.  
>I don't really like sweetsugary foods, but it's all we ever have so I eat it anyways because otherwise I don't eat. 'cause I'm smart (read: stupid) that way.  
>I've never had summer school. Which is weird considering what I do in school-what? I'm not a bad kid...<br>It will be the best band ever. ;-;  
>He totes would. Silly Axel~<p>

egyptian1995: Yeah, I think Sora probably does know-he just wants Riku to say it more often, you know?  
>Riku's a lucky guy in the Sora department. xD<p>

WolfPacFaan: Well, there's a time in most people's lives where they think they're not good enough for their significant other.


	29. Discombobulation

**A/N: As requested, this chapter is from Sora's POV. Prepare for a second dose of confusion.(albeit this is slightly less confusing.)**

* * *

><p>"Riku, c'mon-I need to go to work," I said, giggling as he sleepily pulled me into him, covering me with kisses. "What's gotten into you all of the sudden, Ri-ri?"<p>

"Stay here with me," he said, lips moving down my neck.

"I- _hnnn -_can't," I said, as he nipped lightly at the hot spot on my neck, exciting a small moan from me. "I have to go to work."

"Call in sick," he said, running his tongue over the abused flesh on my neck, making me whimper and squirm.

"Riku, quit it," I whined, trying to shove him away.

"I don't want to," he said, pressing me down against the bed. "And you don't want me to."

"Riku, come on- why do you have to do this _now?_"

Riku pressed his lips against mine. "I've got a bad feeling about today," he said. "So I want you to stay."

"I can't just miss out on work," I said, twining my fingers in his hair despite myself.

"They'd understand," he said, pressing kisses to my forehead, nose, neck and ear.

His hand slipped up my shirt, making me jump slightly. "Riku... no," I said, staring him in the eye. "You're not making me skip work."

Riku sat back, running a hand through his hair and glaring at the floor. "Please, Sora-just _listen_ to me for a second, okay?"

"Alright-what's wrong, Riku?"

"I- today's no good; something bad's going to happen."

"Okay, and?"

"And so I think we're better off if we stay here together, and don't go anywhere, and tell all our friends the same."

"You make it sound like the world's ending."

"Maybe it is," he said, shaking his head.

I sighed, shaking my head too.

* * *

><p>"Oh my god," Kairi said, dropping the platter in her hand. "Oh my- Sora, the screen!"<p>

"Wha-oh god," I held back a small whimper. I hated when they told us about accidents on the news- wait a second. "Kairi-Kairi, that's here! That's-that's _here!"_

"Oh my god- you don't think-"

I stared at her in horror. "I-I need to go; I can't- I need to-" I sputtered, pacing and grabbing my hair and pacing more.

"I-HEY, CID, WE GOTTA GO, NOW," Kairi screamed, ripping off her apron and mine and tossing them at the befuddled manager before taking my hand and dragging me out of the resturaunt.

"Riku and Yuffie were supposed to hang out today," I said, frowning. "Yuffie's nineteen..."

"Riku's male..."

"We have to-"

"Get in the car!"

I jumped into her car, holding on for dear life as she launched off towards Riku's house.

* * *

><p>"Riku's not here," I said, as I came back to the car. "He's- he's—-"<p>

"Yuffie's not picking up her phone," Kairi said, holding back tears.

"Well...maybe they're playing video games at Yuffie's house," I said, biting my lip.

"Yeah- that's probably it. Silly me, jumping to conclusions- c'mon, let's go, Sora," Kairi said, letting out a laugh that sounded a bit like a sob.

* * *

><p>"They... aren't here."<p>

"Godo's not here."

"Do you think-"

Kairi blanched and nodded. "When we were on lunch, I felt this weird pain in my chest," she said, holding her chest and frowning.

"Me...too." I said, holding my chest too and frowning.

* * *

><p>"Kairi-oh my god, Kairi! What the heck are you-there's no road there!"<p>

"I'm sorry, Sora," she said, smiling.

"What are you-"

Kairi slammed down on the gas, heading off the side of the road.

* * *

><p>"Kairi?" I asked, opening my eyes. I sat up, and glanced around. "Kairi?"<p>

"Hey-wha-Sora?"

"Why are we at your house?"

"I...Sora-I don't think this is my house," she said, looking out the window.

"How is it not your house? It looks like-oh my god," I said, staring in wonder. "Are we-?"

"I'm sorry, Sora- really," she said. "I shouldn't have- I killed us both."

"I-," I frowned. It really didn't bother me- I wasn't even angry. "It's alright, Kairi. I forgive you."

We smiled at each other. "Thanks, Sora-" A knock at the door made both of us jump, and Kairi frowned. "I'll get it, I guess."

"Kairi! I don't know why I never noticed this before, but did you know your house is like... on a cloud?" Yuffie said, walking into the house. "It's really awesome-but it definitely doesn't taste like cotton candy."

Kairi grinned. "That's wonderful, Yuffie," she said. "What's it taste like?"

Yuffie made a face. "Kinda like when you put your face over a humidifier that hasn't had it's water changed in a while..." She paused. "Or Godo's feet, I guess."

Kairi grimaced. "That's absolutely disgusting, Yuffie."

Yuffie shrugged. "So, what's - hey Sora! I didn't see you there! - up?"

"Hey Yuffie!"

"Um... Yuffie... you _do _know what happened, right?"

"What are you talking about, Kairi?"

Kairi bit her lip and glanced over at me. "Look, Yuffie-"

* * *

><p>I frowned at the kitchen table. It had been four days, and nothing had really happened. Yuffie had taken the news a bit hard, and was in a state of denial for all of the first two days she'd been here, but now she was starting to understand that we weren't just messing with her.<p>

But when I said nothing really had happened, I meant that there had been no sign of Riku. What if... what if he was still alive? What if he had survived, and I was here and he was alone? What if he needed me?

_I should have listened to him._

"Don't worry, Sora," Kairi said, frowning. "I'm sure he'll be here soon."

"What do you think is taking him so long?"

"Maybe-maybe he got lost," she said, putting a finger to her mouth in thought. "It's Riku; maybe he had to make sure of something, or check on someone, or do something before he joins us."

"Yeah..."

"Or maybe he's still being weighed," Yuffie said, sitting at the table and resting her chin in her hands.

"Weighed?"

"You know... judged. They gotta decide where you're supposed to go when you die," she said, smiling. "We can't all go to the same place- it'd be too crowded."

"What if... what if he gets taken somewhere else?"

Kairi rubbed circles on my shoulders. "Don't worry, Sora- I'm sure they'll understand."

I choked on a sob.

_"I can't just miss out on work."_

_ "They'd understand." _

"Sora?"

"I-he told me not to go," I said, wiping a tear away with the heel of my hand. "He practically begged me not to. Why didn't I- why didn't I listen to him?"

"Sora- it's not your fault," Kairi said, frowning. "You didn't know- you couldn't have."

"It is my fault, Kairi! If I had- if I had listened to him, he would have never have gone to hang out with Yuffie, and they wouldn't have been killed, and you wouldn't have had a reason to kill us with your car, and-"

"Sora, look at me," Kairi said, jerking my chin towards her. "None of this-_none of it_- is your fault."

"But-what if, what if he doesn't _want_ to be with us? What if he's really, really mad at me? What if he blames me?"

"Riku wouldn't do that," Kairi said, rolling her eyes. "You and I both know that Riku could never hate you, or be mad enough at you to not want to spend all his time with you."

"Yeah-Riku loves the heck outta you," Yuffie said, poking my cheeks. "You guys are butt-buddies for life."

"Ew, Yuffie- not at the dinner table!"

"We ain't eating dinner, woman!"

"Don't use slang in my kitchen, you dolt!" Kairi said, smacking Yuffie upside the head.

"I'll use slang in your-heh, Kairi... you just made a sexist joke," Yuffie said, grinning.

"No I-whatever, fine, you win," Kairi said, sighing.

"You love me."

"I do- for some reason," Kairi said, shaking her head.

Watching them together made my chest hurt even more, so I excused myself from the table and went into the room we'd dubbed as mine.

* * *

><p>I woke up to the sound of someone pounding on the door and leaped out of bed.<p>

Kairi was two steps ahead of me, though, as by the time I'd even reached my bedroom door, I heard her unlocking the front one. "Hello-?" She said, stopping. "Riku? What are you-Where on earth have you been?" There wasn't a response. "Hey! Answer me!" Kairi said, snapping her fingers.

"Is he here? Kairi-he's here, right? Please tell me he's here," Riku said, and I threw my bedroom door open.

"You answer me first-where the hell have you been?"

"I don't know- now is he?"

"Kairi? Who's at the door?" Yuffie asked from the kitchen.

I stopped in the hall of the entryway.

"Sora?" Riku was frantically trying to see into the house.

"It's-"

"R—Riku!" I said, launching myself at the door. I shoved Kairi out of the way- not that she needed much persuasion, and jumped at him, wrapping my arms and legs around him and covering him with kisses. "Where have you been? I looked everywhere for you!" I said, studying his face.

"I- a lot of places," he said. He looked confused.

"Oh my god, we thought you were gone! We both saw the news at work, and then you weren't at home, and no one had seen you-"

"I saw the news too," he said.

"That's nice and all, you two, but _where the fuck have you been?_" Kairi said, arms crossed.

"The funny thing is, I really can't remember," Riku said, brow furrowing.

"I'm so glad you're here, too," I said, and despite the fact that I'd been trying so hard not to let them, the tears I'd been holding back came pouring out, and I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"Shhh, Sora- don't cry," Riku cooed, one hand patting me on the head. "I'm here, now. Don't worry."

"I love you so much, Riku," I said, though it sounded more like 'I muv you so muff,' because I was sobbing into his shirt, which smelled strange- not particularly bad, but strange; like Cloud used to before-

No, that's crazy. He couldn't have been-

* * *

><p>"Hey, Riku?" I bit my lip. "Where...where were you?"<p>

"I was... a lot of places," he said, and his eyes seemed to dance slightly. "For a while I was in the mountains, well- more like I _was_ the mountains," he chuckled, "but they told me to seek my sky, so I ran-and I wound up being taken in by someone who found me collapsed on their doorstep, almost dead."

"Riku-"

He smiled. "His name was Zack. He was a weird guy, but he took care of me-"

"Riku-"

"But then I remembered that I wasn't the earth, I was Riku," he said. "And you weren't the sky- you were Sora, and I needed to find you."

"Riku, listen-"

"I love you, Sora."

"Riku, listen, we're- - -"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You're probably still confused, but don't worry- I'll make it all better later. :)**

Akemi713: Thank you! I'm glad you like it :)  
>Because mom's are not mass produced to be like Riku's. D:<br>I've had a lot of friends knee me in the crotch. Hurts like a bitch. Dx  
>XD Maple = my favorite OC I've ever made. And I'm glad my story can make you laugh that much xDDD<br>The chapter titles are actually quite heavily thought out; but if you /really/ want to know, you'll have to look them up yourself. ;D They can easily tell you a lot of what the chapter's about.  
>An o-ring is a little rubber (plastic?) circle thingy that goes on tapers and a lot of other types of earrings that people who stretch their ears wear. It's like a backing to an earring, essentially.<p>

SadieMarie: XD oh. wellthen.  
>And you'll find out what's really going on soon enough.<p>

dearlybelovedangel: yeah, I like to confuse people. I'm a bad person. I should be shot. xD  
>And-for now? I'm going to let you decide what happened.<p>

WolfPacFaan: I'll let you decide the answers to those for now- but don't worry, I'll start explaining things in the following chapters. Also, if you go back to the chapter titled 'Disquieted,' Aerith makes and appearance. If that helps any. xD


	30. Substantiate

**A/N: I'm sorry to say that this will be the last chapter of Flibbertigibbet; I may do an epilogue, however. Also, this chapter is mildly more mature than the others in certain areas, but I still feel that it is suitable for it's rating. **

**also, I feel like I should have warned people at the beginning of this story that it would wind up screwing with their minds. Oh well, too late now~  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"Riku?"<p>

I shot up in bed. "Whoa. What? Why are we-holyshitwhatjusthappened?"

"I'm scared," Sora said, holding his knees to his chest.

I instinctively pulled him into my lap. "What's wrong? Why are you scared?"

"I had a really weird dream," he said, burying his face into my chest. "You told me not to go to work, but I didn't listen, and then later on the news, you and Yuffie were-and me and Kairi-we-we killed ourselves," he shuddered. "And we were at Kairi's house then, but it wasn't, and then Yuffie was there, but you weren't, and I was so scared, because I thought maybe you were mad at me or were all alone in a hospital or something, and then you were-and you didn't know we were dead! And I was so scared to tell you, because I didn't know how you'd take it-and I... I missed you so much, Riku!"

I blinked. "I think we had... the same... dream."

Sora's head shot up at me. "What if-what if it wasn't-" he scrambled off me and looked out the window, sighing in relief and clutching his chest.

I frowned. "It must have been something we ate," I said, shaking my head. "Wonder if Kairi and Yuffie are as fucked up as we are?"

Sora shrugged, immediately attaching himself to my waist as I stood up and grabbed my phone off my desk.

* * *

><p><em>"Oh my god, did we all get like... abducted by aliens? This is so cool,"<em> Yuffie said.

_"More like super creepy- that dream was really weird."_

"Yeah, no kidding- I'm just glad it was only a dream."

"I don't want to be dead," Sora said. "Otty wasn't there."

I frowned. "Yeah- I don't want to orphan our child."

_"You guys act like that cat is your daughter."_

"She is!" Sora and I growled.

_"You guys are crazy."_

_ "Aw, Kairi- just because they love a pussy doesn't make them cra-okay, okay, geez, you don't have to be so violent about it!"_

_ "Yuffie, go take a- No! No! Yuffie-aaiieeeeeeee!"_

_ "Mwahhahahahahhahah!"_

Sora and I glanced at each other and silently agreed to end the call before we wound up hearing anything we didn't want to hear our friends doing.

Which may have been murdering and being murdered, but I like to think that they were just going to play in the bathtub, and that Yuffie wasn't about to be the victim of a raging Kairi.

I shuddered.

* * *

><p>"I'm not going to work today," Sora announced, pushing me backwards onto the bed so he could lay on me.<p>

"That's good."

"Let's just hide in your room all day," he said, nuzzling my chest. "I'm still psyched out from that dream."

"Yeah- me too," I said, frowning.

"Hey, Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"In my dream, you said you were taken in by a guy named-"

"Zack."

"-yeah. Do you, uh, know who he is?"

"No-do you?"

Sora sat up, rubbing his face. "Zack was... Zack was Cloud's best friend. He was older- not by much, though. Zack died in a car accident shortly after... shortly after Aerith, my next door neighbor and one of Cloud's friends, died of cancer."

"But...Aerith was so young," I said, frowning. Cloud was technically older than us- he'd missed a lot of school, apparently, and been held back- but he wasn't _that_ old.

"Yeah- she was. That's why we were all so torn up about it- especially Zack," Sora said, shaking his head.

"I... when I was in the hospital because I'm stupid," I said, pausing. "There was a girl. In the bed next to mine."

"No there wasn't?"

"She was there for a little while- but she left as soon as you got there," I said, shaking my head. "Her name was Aerith, too."

"Do you think-" Sora shook his head. "I bet... I bet they're messing with us," he smiled.

"That's... weird."

"Well- Aerith probably just wanted to help," he said, shrugging. "She was that kind of person, after all- and Zack is like a puppy."

"I...noticed that," I said, narrowing my eyes. "In my dream, I mean."

"Do you think they were trying to tell us something?"

I bit my lip. "Yeah- not to go out today."

Sora giggled. "Well, I think they got what they wanted- I don't know if I can ever leave the house again, now."

I grinned. "Maybe they want us to be shut-ins."

Sora scrunched up his nose.

I shook my head. "Both of them told me... not to waste my life."

"Do... do you think..."

"I think they're telling us to stop being so afraid of the real world," I said. "And that the past is the past- we've only got so long to live, and it can be taken away from us at any moment, so we should stop letting the past hold us back and move forward; live in the now."

"That... sounds like a good life lesson."

"It does, doesn't it?"

"Do you think... we should thank them?"

"Yeah- I think we should."

"Cloud has a shrine built for them," Sora said.

"That's a little-" I shook my head. "No, I think we should do something else for them."

"Like what?"

"Well..."

* * *

><p>And that's how we wound up at the graveyard where the two were buried, me with a bowl of what Zack called 'spaghetti rice' (but was really tomato sauce and rice, because there weren't any noodles involved), and Sora with a bunch of flowers wrapped in pink ribbon. We set the gifts on the graves, thanked them, and went home because we felt weird there.<p>

* * *

><p>"Hey, Riku?"<p>

"I love you too, Sora."

"I-how'd you know?"

"It was written all over your face."

"I-YOU CAN'T READ MY POKER FACE."

"No, I mean it's seriously written on your face. It says, "I love you, Riku, please have hot sweaty gay sex with me on your brother's bed."

"I-no it doesn't!" Sora said, rubbing his face.

I winked at him, waltzing away to the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Sora stared at me, red-faced, from across the table.<p>

Now, normally this meant he was either really embarrassed because I was teasing him, or really mad because I was teasing him.

I'll let you decide which one it was.

His ice cream had begun to melt in his hand, the blueish liquid streaming down his hand. I, being the good Samaritan I was, leaned across the table and licked it off, before returning to my own ice cream bar, and running my tongue up the length of the frozen treat, staring him directly in the eye.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was the first reason—

"Oh my god, Riku," Sora groaned, slamming his head against the table. "Why must you turn everything I consider to be innocent into something horrible suggestive and perverted?"

"Whatever do you mean, Sora dearest?"

"You. And your stupid ice cream, and the tongue, and the- you are such a tease."

I gasped. "Me? A tease? Never!"

"Suck my-"

I raised an eyebrow.

"Pinkie."

"That's what I thought," I said, smirking and taking a bite of my ice cream. "Now eat your ice cream before it makes a mess."

Sora blushed and ate his ice cream.

"...and then I'll make a mess of you later," I added, smirking as he stared at me wide-eyed.

"Rikuuuuu," he said, shaking his head and puffing out his cheeks. "Quitttttt."

I narrowed my eyes at him as I finished off my ice cream.

* * *

><p>"You know, when you said you were going to make a mess of me later," Sora said, glaring at me. "I didn't think you meant we were going to be making pretzels."<p>

"See? I don't even mean anything dirty when I say things," I said, grinning. "You're the one who's always taking things the wrong way, silly goose."

Sora puffed his cheeks out at me and flung flour at me.

"Oh, it's on, Sora," I said, after successfully dodging the flour. I rubbed flour in my hands and slowly walked towards him.

Sora screamed and started running. I chased after him, tackling him and landing- conveniently enough, - on my bed.

"Hi," I said, grinning down at him.

"You're getting flour on the blankets," he said, smiling up at me.

"We're going to have to wash them anyways," I said.

"Wha-"

I captured his lips with mine, kissing him slowly, with as much passion as I could muster-enough to leave him breathless and swollen lipped.

"Riku-"

"Do you trust me, Sora?"

"I-yes."

"I love you, Sora."

"I love you too," he said, bringing my mouth down to his.

"Saving yourself for marriage is such a waste," I said, smiling against his mouth.

"I guess it's a good thing I'm not," he said, smiling back. "Because I don't think we could get married in five seconds."

"I'm going to fuck you."

"You've been reading Starfighter again."

"Yes, yes I have," I said, biting his earlobe.

"I'm not going to be your bitch," Sora said. "And you better not leave a scar."

"I wouldn't mar your body," I said, chuckling. "I respect artwork."

Sora rolled his eyes. "Yeah-sure you do," he said. "You don't respect my religious beliefs."

"And what would that be?"

"The first commandment goes like this; thou shalt not give thy boyfriend a raging hard-on when eating ice cream without following through," he said, letting out small moans as I decorated his neck with bites. "The second is..."

I lifted up his shirt, biting down and lapping at his stomach, eliciting a loud moan from him. "Yes? What is the second?"

"Oh, god, just- shut up and make love to me, you tease," Sora said, squirming.

"Ah ah ah," I said, smirking against his skin. "What's the magic word?"

"Ah-_fuck,_ Riku, -please?"

"That's more like it," I said, grinning.

* * *

><p>"I am <em>so<em> glad that wasn't a dream," I said.

Sora mumbled in agreement.

"I love you, Sora."

"My everything hurts, Riku," he said.

"I'm going to pretend that's post-sex Soranese for 'I love you too, Riku.'"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And I'm just going to end this on an awkward note. :D If you'd like me to write an epilogue, feel free to say so; I'll see what I can do. :3  
><strong>

egyptian1995: I hope this helped you not freak out as much- sorry for the wait. Apparently it wasn't Tuesday yesterday like I thought it was so I had to go to bed. D:

Akemi713: the kittens will devour your soullllllllllll.  
>Riku's tentacle nightmares: comic relief throughout the world.<br>I figured people probably wouldn't, but some people are weird and spend time to psychoanalyze everything someone does. lol  
>Ese basically means bro. :D<br>Sometimes I wish I could be a-ohwait. I already am a boy. yayyyyy. xD But dressing in drag is uncomfortable...  
>Also, if you want to dress in drag but make it look really awesome? I suggest crossplay. (cosplaying the opposite gender)<br>My mom accuses me of eating disorders most days. Idon'tgetit. This Riku was meant to be relate-able, so I'm glad you're able to relate to him! :D  
>Open houses are what newly graduated seniors traditionally do; it's like a 'oh hey I made it! Party at my place!' type deal. Moms for some odd reason really like to push them upon their seniors.<br>I have a friend who I call mommy... he's cool. :D  
>Hey, look at it this way- you're getting your mind screwed for free! shot/.

WolfPacFaan: Sorry 'bout that...  
>The first four-ish chapters of this story were uploaded (and written) within 24 hrs. I update sporadically.<p>

SadieMarie: I hope it makes more sense now xD

RikuObsession: I think Zack liked having Riku around.  
>Okay-that's good. I woulda felt stupid otherwise. xD Fanfic's login likes to randomly crash on me though, so I had to ask.<br>I'm glad you liked the Sora chapter. xD I have difficulty writing more happy-go-lucky characters. :/  
>She totes would be. xD<br>I go to public school and draw during all my classes or sleep. :D My teachers are afraid of me for the most part so they just kinda let me do what I want. Yay for being intimidating! xD  
>I don't either... Dx<br>Our band = epitome of awesome on a sexy stick?  
>Happy Valentine's Day! (I'm married to myself and about 9 others, trololol)<br>Of /course/ Kairi's a psycho-she's short, female, _and _ginger. That's like-automatic psychopath. /shot/  
>And this chapter clears up your hopes. XD<p>

**Today, my mum barged in my room and threw skittles at me. Last year, she got me rainbow nerds. I think she's trying to tell me something... XD ("taste the rainbow, boy!" -chucks candy at-) **


	31. Terminus

Hello, my name is Riku Montgomery. I'm twenty-nine, a teacher in high school, and for six months of my life, completely capable of facing the world and everything in it.

I've always been a bit strange, I suppose you could say. My life has always been a little odd when I compared it to the lives of my peers; I didn't fight with my parents everyday, I didn't hate them, and they didn't hate me. I'm still madly in love with the person I've been with since high school, and he's still madly in love with me.

Or at least I'm pretty sure that's what he means when he steals the blankets at night.

* * *

><p>When I was nineteen, I danced a bit too close to the blades and was put in the hospital, later to be diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder.<p>

But you know what?

Even if my life is strange, I have a mood disorder, and some things happened that I'd rather didn't, I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's my life, and that's all it's ever been- _my life._ Every moment I've been alive, I've been living the moments that lead to the life I now live and love.

* * *

><p>Sora achieved his dream; he became a psychologist in the state of Michigan. Meanwhile, during his senior year of college, I lived life. I spoke it, taught it, aided it. I still didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, and I don't know that I truly do now- maybe I'm still searching for that dream job, but for now, I'm content with where I'm at.<p>

I have a loving husband (though the state doesn't recognize it as such), a stable job, friends, and I'd even managed to write a book and have it featured on Opera. I was pretty damn awesome, to be completely honest.

* * *

><p>"Sora, stop-we've had this conversation before," I said, sighing. "Neither of us should ever reproduce-especially not me."<p>

"Riku, there's only a fifty percent chance-"

"That still leaves fifty percent, Sora- it's still possible, and it'll probably happen," I snapped, and immediately regretted it. "Sorry... I just...sorry."

Sora frowned. "I just feel like I'm holding you back..."

I sighed, walking over to where he leaned against the counter, hugging himself. "Sora, what's this really about?" I asked, wrapping my arms around him.

"I... want to have a family with you, Riku," he said. "But I can't- I'm not capable of bearing children."

"So why don't we adopt?"

Sora blinked. "But... it wouldn't be your-"

"I'd rather give a child without anyone a home than make little Rikus."

Sora smiled. "God knows what hell would break loose," he said, shaking his head. "They'd probably troll the nurses as soon as Kairi had them."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why Kairi? I don't want to risk having any fire-crotches," I said.

"Okay, Namine."

"Whatever, surrogate is a creepy word. Can we not talk about this anymore?"

* * *

><p><em>"Hey, Riku...haha, um, so... want a little miniature Larxene?"<em>

I choked. "Wh-what did you just say?"

_"Okay, I know this is sudden, and we haven't really talked lately, or seen each other in like a year, but uh, I got... I got knocked up."_

"Um, okay..?"

_"And I know I can't give her a good life," _Larxene said. _"But I know... I know you and Sora could."_

"And so you're asking me, - over the phone- to take your kid?"

_"Well... yeah..?"_

"You couldn't have... I don't know, asked me in person? At a reasonable time?" I asked, glancing at the clock. _3:15 am._

"Um, not really... I'm kind of... having the baby right now?"

"God dammit, Larxene- what the hell?"

"What's wrong, Riku?"

"Larxene's having a goddamned baby," I said.

"Well, tell her to calm down."

"No, Sora, I mean a literal baby," I said. "Not a whale."

"Oh. Then shouldn't she be calling... someone else?"

"She wants us to take it."

"It's not an it!"

"Okay, I'm not going to even correct you there- Larxene wants us to take _her._"

_"So... you think you can get your asses down here?"_

"I hate you, Larxene, I swear to-I'll call you back," I said, despite the blonde's protests. I sighed. "Sora, do you want to be the proud father of a devil's spawn with me?"

"Yeah, sure, why not?"

"Cool. Put some clothes on then, we have to go claim our very own Larxene clone."

Sora nodded and threw on some semblance of clothing- the lucky bastard actually got to sleep at a reasonable time, unlike me- and we set off towards the hospital Larxene told me to go to.

* * *

><p>"Oh, hey Xion-why are you here?"<p>

"Larxene's my best friend, why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh-good point. Wait- why didn't _you_ take her kid?"

Xion rolled her eyes. "Because I already have a son, duh."

"Wait, what? When did-how did-huuhhhhhh?"

"Namine and I adopted a boy," Xion said. "Didn't I ever tell you that?"

I shook my head, as did Sora.

"Well, we adopted him six months ago. His folks died."

From the room, we heard the distinct wailing of one blonde soon-to-be mother.

* * *

><p>They say the happiest moment in a father's life, outweighing even marriage or finally getting that dream car, is the birth of his first child-especially if it's a girl.<p>

I'm not sure if it counts if you're one of two (technically three) fathers and adopting from your best friend, but yeah- holding that little girl in my arms for the first time? Definitely not going to ever forget that moment.

It was one of those powerful moments where everything you say winds up just above a whisper.

"What should we name her?" Sora asked, peeking at the small being in my arms.

I stared down at the little body in my arms. She had a bit of hair- light brown,- and eyes that were more green than the normal 'baby blues' that most babies automatically had. "I think... we should name her Aerith."

Sora paused, meeting my eyes. "Are you- are you sure?"

Something in the way that baby's face wrinkled into a smile told me that yes, I was absolutely, positively sure. I nodded.

"Okay."

* * *

><p>It turns out, Xion's son was a black haired, blue-eyed boy by the name of Zack, who had an obsession with rice and tomatoes.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And a happy ending for all. :D I'll respond to reviews via fanfiction's private messaging system for this story, now. Thank you, all of you, for sticking through this with me.  
><strong>

The Hungry Writer / Phen 13: I'm glad it made sense in the end! Thank you, and I hope I'll be able to produce good work in the future.

egyptian1995: well they're gonna die sometime... /shot/. I'm glad you liked it!

dearlybelovedangel: Well I guess it's a good thing I uploaded it on Valentine's day, then XD And you don't even have to be upset. :DD

Akemi713: They should teach it in public schools.  
>Good luck! And get better soon!<p>

SadieMarie: I'm so glad you liked it! :D

**Thank you guys for the 124 reviews._ ;-;_ I've never gotten that many before.  
>I never expected this story to be so popular, to be honest. <strong>**So thank you, so much.**

_And now I'm going to (discretely) ask you all to go read my newest story, Transcend. Because you love me. xD_ _/shot/_


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